Monday May 6, same bat studio, we taped our 31 Questions season finale. It was a slightly bizarre finale because it wasn’t our final taping. We were back on May 13 to re-shoot the season opening episode. But we treated Ep 8 like it was our last, farewell speeches, balloons and all.

My Mum even flew over from Adelaide to join the studio audience. She’s been watching on YouTube and 44 Adelaide but she’d never seen the show live before. She reportedly said the show was “very nice”.

This is probably the only photo I have of me and Mum where I’m the one wearing the most make up.

I’ve always said you don’t need money to make a great TV show. Assuming you can find a crew who are willing to work for free. And using the equipment is free. And you don’t mind eating rice. And you know someone who can get you a lot of free rice.

Have I told you about this great crew we got?

Every week they come in, set up and operate the equipment required to make a television show. They do an outstanding job. And they do it all for free.

Like Matt Dunham, the undisputed master of lighting:

And leading the studio crew this season are producers Jess May and Riyana Kasmawan, with the outstanding direction of Antonio Cafasso.

They’re doing things to make this show I don’t even know about or understand.

They’re all right in my book.

…which is why I gave them the attention they deserve at the rundown meeting prior to shooting.

Have I told you about our studio audience?

They’re the wonderful people who’ve braved the cold week after week to come sit in the adequately comfortable RMITV chairs and watch low budget game show television in the glorious standard definition of real life

And the last couple of shows, we’ve had some really lovely people come along. They laugh. They clap. They eat all the lollies. Some of them have even come to more tapings than some of our crew members. Spot Michael Doyle:

And again:

At the season finale, fan Mayumi Nobetsu popped by. She couldn’t stay for the studio audience, but she gave Anthony, Sophie and me bouquets of flowers because it was our last show!

I was very touched, though also not quite sure what to do with them, as I am currently not a vase owner. This was the flower situation one week later:

As for the actual show taping part of the night, I can’t remember much. It’s all a bit of a blur. Here are some photos:

Did I mention Channel 31 Melbourne & Geelong have given us our time slot?

Debuting Saturday 20 July 2013, 31 Questions Season 2 will air at the upgraded time of 8.30PM Saturdays for at least 6 weeks (possibly 7 – I’ll keep you updated).

That’s 90 minutes earlier than last year’s time slot! We peaked at 22,500 viewers when we were on at 10PM. I wonder what our ratings will be like this year…

I’ve also contacted the other TV stations that aired Season 1. So far, TVS Sydney, 44 Adelaide and Face Television New Zealand have all said they’re keen to broadcast our second season soon after the episodes air in Melbourne. But we’ll also be uploading the episodes to YouTube straight after they air on Channel 31.

Still waiting to hear back from West TV Perth and 31 Digital Brisbane.

Have I told you about Dean Watson? That’s him on the right, next to Antonio:

As one of the writers, Dean’s written hundreds of questions for the show. He’s also been a producer for Season 2, and has done a lot of work behind the scenes, organising our new logo, sending out press releases and looking into sponsorship.

By the way, we have yet to find a sponsor for the show. We’re allowed to sell a small amount of television advertising on Channel 31. If you’re interested in sponsoring 31 Questions, give us an email: 31questions@davidmgreen.com and we can talk.

A great finale for a great season. In fact, it was by far the best season finale this season.

So much so, Anthony gave the audience one of his trademarked Italian-style hand gestures where the fingers explode from the mouth:

We were back in the studio on May 13 to re-shoot the episode we lost to a tape malfunction a few weeks ago. And that really was our final taping for the year. I’ll tell you all about it when the photos arrive.

Have I told you about photographer James Sablinskis?

He’s absolutely sensational.

Kind regards,
David M. Green
I didn’t think I’d live this long.

After the dizzying highs of Episode 6, we were back in the studio on Monday April 29 for our 7th shoot of Season 2. And I was dog tired.

This year I’m back panelling “AFL Live” for Crocmedia on regional radio around Australia. I’d worked a 10 hour shift on ANZAC Day, which included 9 straight hours at the panel, panelling two full AFL games. It’s the longest I’ve ever spent panelling live radio. It was great fun, but I was pretty damn mentally exhausted by the end of it. That Thursday shift was followed by my usual weekend shifts. So I panelled for 29 hours in 4 days.

Then it was straight on to 31 Questions Day.

I was running late as I hadn’t had a chance to do all my little last minute preparations until, well, the last minute; Cutting out the questions and sticking them to my cue cards, ironing my only white shirt, practicing the movie quotes, organising props and sending out endless emails.

As always seems to be the case with days like this, for the first time ever, I left my autocue script at home and I set a new record for finding the farthest ever parking space from the RMIT studios. When I finally hauled myself and my box of tricks in (well, Antonio carried the box), it was straight into shooting a sketch and then straight from that into Episode 7. In hindsight, I should have had a coffee. Or at least a can of Diet Coke.

If for no other reason than to control my explosive flatulence.

But aside from my slight irritability, it was another successful shoot. We’re continuing the string of great crowds and people seem to be “getting it”. Either that or they’re laughing at us. Either way.

There was a guy named Henry with an English accent, sitting in the front row. For a moment there I thought he was that Marcus Taylor guy, making good on his threat to turn up to one of my gigs. Fortunately it wasn’t the same guy.

Back in 2011 he asked me to do a funny review of his help self book. He didn’t much like my review. It’s a long and ridiculous story. Read it here.

Kudos also to producer and production manager Riyana Kasmawan. Not only has she been making the fabulous prizes and props every week, she’s also been cooking dinner for the cast and crew. And though I personally haven’t eaten any of it because I’m never in the mood to eat before a taping, I’m told it’s been adequate and more importantly, within budget.

A+

Simon Owens from Melbourne radio station 3AW joined regular person Ashlee behind the contestant podium this week. It’s always great when our contestants have a go, even if they don’t get every question right. Points for effort count.

Actually, points for absolutely no reason also count. That’s Moderator Anthony’s department.

And so we reach the END of Season 2. Tonight we’re taping Episode 8, the glorious season finale.

If you want to be a part of it, come join the studio audience!

Pop in 8.30PM:

Studio A, Level 2, Building 12
RMIT University
on Melbourne’s fabulous Swanston Street
(near the corner of Franklin Street)

Or RSVP to the event on Facebook.

Of course there is still ONE MORE opportunity to see 31 Questions live in 2013. Next week on Monday 16 May, we’re re-shooting Episode 2, which we lost to a tape malfunction. And that really will be the last one. To my knowledge.

See you tonight!

Kind regards,
David M. Green
To my knowledge (wink wink).

Check out the latest episode of Crawf TV, featuring me and TV’s Shane Crawford.

I haven’t quite worked out how to “embed” these videos, but you can watch it on Crawf’s website absolutely free of charge!

In Ep 3, Crawf talks parenting, chats with a “genuine” psychic and almost brains me with a tennis ball.

See the Internet television sensation critics are already unaware of.

Kind regards,
David M. Green
That’s right.

A wise man once told me breakfast time last Friday that the 6th episode is usually when a TV show hits its stride. He was proved right once again with OUR 6th episode, which was laid down on tape Monday, 22 April 2013.

We were honoured to have veteran TV and radio performer JOHN BLACKMAN in the studio, who I fondly remember from a childhood spent watching “Hey, Hey It’s Saturday!” and my teenage years listening to the breakfast show on Adelaide’s Triple M (on the rare occasion I woke up before 9am).

DMG Fun Fact! I did actually have my clock radio defaulted to Triple M circa 2002 (when chart music started not doing it for me any more) until 2007 when “Get This” was taken off the air. Except for that period in 2003/04 during that weird format switch with SAFM. But that’s another rant.

John popped up several times throughout the episode. He also brought Dicky Knee and I got to do some schtick with him! It’s quite bizarre being on the OTHER SIDE of Dicky Knee. I have a whole new level of respect and sympathy for Daryl Somers, who really was just at the mercy of John Blackman.

We also had a huge studio audience turnout this week. Maybe 30 people (including my sister Hannah all the way from Adelaide!). And a couple of dozen people in that little RMITV studio makes for a great atmosphere.

John Blackman, what a pro. And what an absolute pleasure to work with. We had his segments roughly scripted, but there was room to ad lib and go with the flow. He added a bunch of extra gags on the fly. Just wonderful. The way television should be.

Have I thanked Antonio for setting this one up? I haven’t? Does the question count as a thank you? Urgh… Big thanks to our fabulous director and media industry player Antonio Cafasso for arranging for Mr Blackman’s 31Q cameo!

And, unbelievably, John Blackman had such a great time on 31 Questions he actually called 3AW on his drive home and gave us a plug! He even called me a “honey”.

At least I think that’s what he said…

Hear for yourself, audio courtesy of 3AW:

Bruce Mansfield on 31 Questions next… what do you think?

Aside from Mr Blackman, the rest of the show went splendidly. Two more upstanding contestants. Great crowd. Great crew. Gags aplenty. Flushing things down the toilet (literally). You know, the usual.

That’s most of the team down there. Best in community television.

Reminder, you can join us in the studio this Monday 29 April for our next taping!

Join the event on Facebook, or materialise 8.30PM:

Studio A, Level 2, Building 12
RMIT University
on Melbourne’s fabulous Swanston Street
(near the corner of Franklin Street)

See you there, then and who!

Kind regards,
David M. Green
Honey to work with.

We’re on the home stretch! On Monday 15 April 2013, we magnetically transferred 31 Questions Season 2, Episode 5 to marvelous standard definition video tape.

It went well, but I didn’t quite have the “best show ever” feeling that I had after the previous week’s show. We started off strong, but technical issues and other delays made us run quite late. And to top it off, we had a TIED GAME, which had never happened before and for which we had no contingency plan.

We decided I’d ask a straight forward sudden death general knowledge question (we always have a few spares). But I had to ask four questions before either of the contestants buzzed in. Eventually, we had a winner but by the end of the night, most of us were pretty exhausted.

But as they say: we’ll get it in editing.

Our special guest for Episode 5 was TV’s Dan Ilic, who took a break from performing his show “Legally Ambiguous” at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival (very funny, by the way) to come dance with Sophie Loughran in the RMITV studio!

Naturally, Sophie was leading.

Have I mentioned the great crew?

We have a very great crew.

And speaking of which, here are some more great photos from photographer James Sablinskis, who’s been present at every taping to document our journey through the dog-eat-dog world of community television game show production:

AHH! Oh… it’s James.

And a special thanks also to Antonio’s Mum for bringing in the coveted Cafasso family hatstand, which we used as a prop for one of our movie quotes. Reckon YOU know the name of the movie? (Our contestants didn’t!)

I’m really enjoying the movie quote round. I’m not in a lot of the scenes because I wanted to take a bit of a break. Plus because Sophie and Anthony are so great together. Sophie can really emote. And the last couple of episodes Anthony has been doing some very convincing impersonations. Just a joy to watch.

Come see the next ones for yourself LIVE!

Join the 31 Questions STUDIO AUDIENCE for Season 2, Episode 7 event on Facebook, or simply rock up 8.30PM this Monday 29 April to:

Studio A, Level 2, Building 12
RMIT University
on Melbourne’s fabulous Swanston Street
(near the corner of Franklin Street)

We had a HUGE audience for Episode 6 this week (I’ll blog about that when I get the photos… JAMES?!?). Would be great to see as many of you as possible crammed into that RMITV studio for the remaining shows.

There are lollies.

Kind regards,
David M. Green
That’s right. Lollies.

For the first time since Season 2 began, I finally felt like we really nailed an episode.

On Monday April 8, we were back in the studio to tape Episode 4. It was one of those magical nights where everything just came together. Great crowd. Scripted gags landed. Spontaneous laughs. Insightful contestants. We ran to schedule. And most importantly of all, we got it all on tape!

Special guest Alex Williamson also popped in to record a cameo, providing a considerable amount of censoring work for the editor. Amazing how time flies. Back in 2008, Alex was a guest on my show “Pow-Wow” on Radio Adelaide. 5 years and 800km later, he’s a guest on my TV show. I still have trouble believing all this is actually happening.

Shooting during the Melbourne International Comedy Festival is tough. There’s strong competition for audiences. It’s rough out there, I tell ya!

I think people just get desensitised to the constant Facebook and Twitter updates from comedians saying: “Come to my show! Come to my show!” Not to mention those invasive ads. Whoops. I just mentioned them.

The 31 Questions experience is completely free – as are most TV studio audience experiences. We’re competing against comedy festival shows that charge $20-30 a ticket. It’s true that having a price of admission adds a sense of legitimacy to a show, and maybe the very fact we don’t charge is actually discouraging show-goers. But ultimately, we’re making a community TV show. We’d never charge people to see 31 Questions. I just want as many people as possible to see it, whether that be in studio or on TV or YouTube and damn the fact that as I’m writing this, I have $38.41 in the bank.

Personally, I love free things. In fact, I try to avoid paying for things. At all costs.

Doesn’t always work out, financially speaking.

Once again, hats, jackets and pants off to our great crew.

They just get better and better every week.

It was such a great feeling walking out of that studio at the end of the night knowing the show is finally where I want it to be. When it’s good, it’s so, so good.

Best feeling in the world.

The next opportunity for you to be a part of it is this Monday 22 April for the taping of EPISODE SIX.

8.30PM
Studio A, Level 2, Building 12
RMIT University
on Melbourne’s fabulous Swanston Street
(near the corner of Franklin Street).

Join the event on Facebook.

And a big thanks to the king of Australian TV audience warm up Michael Pope for sharing the event on Facebook. If you’ve ever had the pleasure of being warmed up by him, as I was when I saw “Mad As Hell” the other week, you’ll know he’s one of the best in the business.

I must let you know though he won’t be at our taping. But it looks like we’ll be continuing our recent trend of special guest appearances with another popular character…

I’ll see you on Monday. And until then (or until I get the photos from Ep 5 and blog about that), here’s some recently uploaded outtake footage from last year.

Enjoy.

Kind regards,
David M. Green
Leave you legless. That really is a horrible joke when you think about it.

April Fool’s Day was supposed to be our regular night in the RMITV studio, but it also happened to be Easter Monday. And alas, the studio was closed. Also, people have families. So we taped our 3rd episode at the special time of Wednesday 3 April, 2013.

I felt this week went better than last week. There was a good vibe in the studio. Though because it wasn’t our regular night, a lot of our regular crew couldn’t make it, so everything took a little longer to set up and it was particularly “stop/start” for most of the taping. Anyone who’s ever been in the studio audience for a non-live TV show would know that you should always expect a “stop/start” kind of night. But 31 Questions Ep 3 was especially so.

It’s difficult to think like an editor. An editor can look at a fairly ordinary piece of raw footage and work out in his or her head how great it’ll be once you cut out all the crap bits. So with my editing goggles on, I reckon Episode 3 is the best episode we’ve done so far. Or at least, it should be, after the editing.

I was particularly happy with some of the physical gags. That’s going to be a real treat for the viewer when that finally goes to air sometime this winter.

Once again we had some great contestants. Though there was a late minute scramble for a female contestant when a miscommunication lead to two male contestants being booked for Ep 3. It’s always been my opinion it’s best to keep the gender quota balanced. Especially as it’s already skewed towards a sausage fest with me and Anthony.

Two male contestants would make it four guys, and Sophie, on the show. Call me sexist, but I want to avoid that kind of “lad’s humour” on 31 Questions (I’ve already got a show for that. It’s called Too Easy).

It doesn’t help that the majority of people banging the door down to be contestants on game shows (all game shows, not just ours), are middle aged white guys.

But like usual, it all came together at the last minute.

It’s amazing how many little jobs exists on a show like this. Sometimes you don’t even notice something’s missing until there’s a problem. A funny one happened this week. Several of our regular crew weren’t there, including contestant coordinator Lucy Downs. One of her jobs was to put name tags on the contestants. Now, you might think that doesn’t really make a big difference in the scheme of things. But the truth is, the name tags are just there for me.

Someone buzzes in, then I say the contestant’s name before they give me an answer. There’s a lot of information on the show. I’m reading questions off the cards, as well as stuff off the autocue, plus I’m making stuff up. And I have a bad memory for names already. So I really do use the name tags to remember the contestants’ names. It’s one less thing I have to remember.

The strange thing is, when we started the opening round, I managed to get to the 3rd or 4th question before I realised I wasn’t saying the contestants’ names. I was just sort of unconsciously saying “Yesssss… you!”

It’s hard to describe. I was confused and I knew something wasn’t right. But it took me a minute to work out it was just because the contestants weren’t wearing name tags. But like most of these problems that pop up, we turned it into a joke later in the show.

Another disadvantage of shooting on a Wednesday last week is that we were in direct competition with about 500 Melbourne International Comedy Festival Shows for audience members.

Understandably, we were were pretty light for audience, so Anthony and I pulled the old “go out onto Swanston Street and drag in some strangers” technique. Amazingly, we managed to convince a couple of girls. Also, we found two girls for the audience.

There was a feeling in the control room that we hadn’t quite nailed Episode 3 – a contrast from the previous week where the control room thought it went great, but it didn’t feel right for me.

As I write this blog entry, we’ve actually already taped the 4th episode. And man, we nailed that one! It was a faster turnaround with only 5 days in between studio dates, instead of our usual week. So I’ll do a proper wrap up when I’ve got the photos from Ep 4.

Unfortunately though, just before we taped Ep 4, I got the bad news that Episode 2 has been lost. There was a technical problem as simple as an incorrect setting on the master tape deck. It recorded audio. But no vision. And obviously, the best television game shows have both of these things.

But wait! Weren’t we also iso-recording on separate tapes on ALL the cameras? Unfortunately, we only had back-up tapes in 3 of the 5 cameras. So we’ve had to face the reality that Episode 2 is not recoverable.

It’s always a shame when this sort of thing happens. It’s happened to us before on a smaller scale – Losing a few vox-pops or dodgy audio here and there. But we’ve never lost a whole show. Really, I’m surprised it didn’t happen sooner.

To be honest, it couldn’t have happened to a better episode. If it happened to the first one, we wouldn’t have been able to assess our technique for the future episodes. And if it happened to Episode 3 or 4, which I was really happy with, I’d be a lot more irritated. But Episode 2 is gone. We lost some really good gags. But there were also a lot of things that didn’t work so well, and that I’m actually glad are no longer on record.

But it’s all okay. We factored this into our plan: Shoot 8. Deliver 6. So we’re still good, so long as we don’t screw up any more. And there’s even a chance we might get to the end of our 8 shows and go back and re-record Episode 2. And do it better.

I’ve got an incredible team. And it’s finally all coming together.

This Monday 15 April, we’re taping Episode 5. You’re rapidly running out of opportunities to see 31 Questions live in studio!

Join the event on Facebook, or come on down:

8.30PM
Studio A, Level 2, Building 12
RMIT University
on Melbourne’s fabulous Swanston Street
(near the corner of Franklin Street).

Be there or you’re dead to me.

Na, you’re okay.

PS. Last night I saw “Aunty Donna and the Fax Machine Shop” at the Comedy Festival. They’re a sketch team who’ve previously appeared in a Channel 31 show called “Lost Dog TV”. I’m not easily impressed, but these guys have got “it”. They’re hilarious and I recommend you pay money to see them.

Of course, I also recommend you don’t pay money to see MY show. The 31 Questions experience is completely free of change.

Kind regards,
David M. Green
No stars.

We returned on Monday 25 March to the RMITV studio for this year’s second 31 Questions taping.

I’m told from the people upstairs in the control room, behind the cameras and in the studio audience that it went very well. Though I couldn’t help feeling a bit weird the whole night.

It started when we neglected to rehearse our opening gags. So naturally I completely forgot what I had planned to do with Anthony and Sophie when I walked out from behind the scoreboard. We had to stop and redo the opening sequence somewhere between 3 and 5 times (I lost count). And from that moment on, I had it in my head we were off to a bad night. Chalk that one up for next time: Rehearse the damn opening!

Though upon reflection, I can recall several moderately large laughs so it’s probably fine. The contestants were much better behaved this week. No talking over the top of other people (those lapel microphones pick up everything).

Something we’re doing differently this time around is actually taking a look at the footage before the next week’s taping. We weren’t able to do that last year for logistical reasons. That, combined with me not having a studio monitor while I was on camera, meant that the only way I could access the show and my performance was based on the audience’s reaction and how I felt at the time.

For some reason I had it in my head that all the gold was captured perfectly by the cameras. It wasn’t until weeks later when the episodes were being edited that we realised there were a lot of problems (the result of poor directing), which we had to disguise with clever editing. And some of those problems, we were just stuck with.

This time round, I’m exchanging long emails with the cast and director, full of notes of things to do or not do. It’s a lot to be thinking about while I’m supposed to be having fun.

I’m reminded of something Shaun Micallef said on the audio commentary of “Micallef Tonight” – that as he was also a producer, he was often distracted during the interviews about what was coming up later in the show, instead of just being in the moment and enjoying his interview with Barry Humphries.

I’m going to make a conscious effort not to think about a lot of that stuff and just enjoy myself. I have faith in Antonio in the director’s chair. He actually reads the scripts, which is a refreshing change. From here on out, I’m having fun.

In other news, I took at look at the ABC’s newest low budget panel game show “Tractor Monkeys” during the week, and I must say… excuse me while I drag out my soapbox… what a half-arsed attempt at a TV show.

The ABC keeps trying to re-create the success they had with “Spicks and Specks”. I enjoyed Spicks and Specks. But Tractor Monkeys, just like “Randling”, is no Spicks and Specks.

Firstly, it’s the same tired middle-aged comedians they wheel out for all these shows, all vying for punchlines. And with Tractor Monkeys, more so than the others, there’s really been no attempt at all to establish some sort of point of the “game”. The two teams are given out arbitrary points, culminating in a “fast-paced” final round (that’s the same speed as the rest of the show), and then the winners are announced and… Goodnight!

So Dave O’Neil’s team won. So what? They don’t win anything. There are absolutely no consequences for winning or not winning. Even a silly meaningless trophy would make it more interesting.

And could they have made the show look any cheaper? I’m not talking about lovably cheap. I mean slick, sterile cheap. A high school student could have made better segment graphics. They’re all just a pink screen with white text. The graphics for SEASON ONE of 31 Questions are better! (By the way, wait til you see our Season TWO graphics – just *Italian-style exploding fingers from my mouth hand gesture*)

To tell you the truth, I’m actually insulted a show like Tractor Monkeys would be broadcast nationally on the ABC. They should be doing much, much better.

I reckon I could make a better game show than that

Come see for yourself tomorrow night.

Kind regards,
David M. Green
I’ve never liked monkeys.

We were back in the studio on Monday 18 March for the first taping of 31 Questions Season 2.

It was the first time since 17 May last year that we entered the studio with the intent of actually taping an episode, so I was a little rusty. And with some new faces on the team and a few changes to the format, it was a bit of a bumpy start.

Last year, we were fortunate enough to have the studio for 8 hours at a time, which meant we could shoot 2 episodes in one go. This year however, the fabulous RMIT University studio is in high demand, so we’re only able to get 5 hours. And that’s just not enough time to set everything up, pack everything away AND shoot two episodes. For starters, you wouldn’t do it in that order. Obviously you’d leave the packing up til the end. But my point is we’re forced to shoot just the one episode per week.

But this has turned out to be a blessing in disguise. Although it’s going to take us more weeks to finish our 8-episode schedule, we can focus more attention on each episode. There were a few times this week where something didn’t quite work as well as I thought it could, and we actually had time to go back and do it better. There were many times during season 1 where we were in a similar situation, but we had to push on because we just didn’t have the time.

It’s amazing, show business. You wait for months to find out whether it’s all going ahead. You spend weeks preparing everything and waiting to do it. Then it all happens at once and it’s all over in a flash of lights. But it’s all worth it.

Once again we’ve got an outstanding crew who are all working for free. We’ve also got a new director, Antonio Cafasso, and under his direction we’re making much better use of the studio.

We’re now using five cameras, up from just four last year. And best of all we’ve got a crane shot this season. From what I’ve seen on the monitors, it looks sensational. I don’t think there are too many opportunities in Australia, let alone the world, to have free reign in a television studio with such amazing equipment. But hey, that’s RMITV and it’s why I moved to Melbourne.

Antonio has also worked out how to “iso-record” on the important cameras, which last year we were told was “impossible”. So if crucial vision is missed during the taping due to the switcher (also Antonio, by the way) taking an alternate camera feed, we still have a back-up on a separate tape.

TV production, folks. Fascinating!

As for the content of the show, it’s mostly the same. But in a nutshell, there’s more of the stuff that worked. And less of the stuff that didn’t. We’re putting the focus on the “game” aspect of the show. And building our comedy around that. There were some things we needed to get out of our system (eg. man wearing a dress, guy getting a pie in the face, etc.) and that’s what a first season is for. But now we’ve got the rare opportunity to shoot a second season. So it’s time to step it up a notch.

We’ve changed the opening sequence. Established new running gags and jokes around the set. Expanded Sophie’s role on the show, because she’s damn talented. The scoreboard looks like a scoreboard now, instead of a whiteboard. We’ve got two new producers who are working on important things behind the scenes. New graphics (Also Antonio. Also amazing). And new theme music (which is fantastic, by the way).

We’ve also altered the rules in some of the segments. In “Word on the Street”, contestants can now buzz in anytime, rather than having to wait until the vox-pop video finishes playing. This is how this segment should be run. The only reason we did it the other way last season was because we were told (by someone no longer with the show) there was a technical reason preventing us from doing it. Antonio found a way.

With the movie quote round, renamed to “The One Where They Quote The Movies”, Anthony, Sophie and I are now acting out three group scenes, instead of three individual quotes and one group scene. Like I said, more of the stuff that worked. Less of the stuff that didn’t.

But I can assure you, it’s still the same old 31 Questions

We’re also putting a greater emphasis on quality control. If there’s one thing I hate about community TV, it’s people who say: “Oh well, it’s just community TV” as if that’s an excuse for the show being crap.

I don’t believe you need a lot of money to make a good TV show or a funny TV show. Sure, money helps in the sense you can use it to hire the best people and use the best equipment. And it means you can work on the show without having to worry about how you’re going to pay your bills. But if you throw a hundred thousand dollars at a crap idea, it’s still going to be crap.

This season, I’ve allowed more back and forth with the team of writers and more rounds of drafts. I have the unique privilege of being host, head-writer AND producer. This is generally unheard of in Australian television. It basically means I have final say over what’s in the script, what I say on the show and how the show works. So I’m not wasting this power (because I may never get this opportunity again). I’m using it to make sure the show is the best, the funniest it can be.

We’ve had more production meetings and a proper table read, which we didn’t do last year. And we are going to be brutal in the editing room. Firstly, we’re hoping to shoot eight episodes but only air the best six on TV. So the weakest two shows won’t be broadcast. And the other six are going to have every aspect questioned: “Does this need to be in the show?”

I want 31 Questions to be the show RMITV is remembered for.

Thanks also to our wonderful studio audience who came down to see our first Season 2 taping. It was great to see my old friend from Adelaide, Voice-Over’s Tim Wray in the audience, as well as a few people who don’t know anyone involved with the show – just fans. That’s great. It’s a reminder the show is actually beamed “out there” where anyone can see it. The next studio audience opportunity is tomorrow night for Ep 2.

8.15PM, Level 2, Building 12 of RMIT University on fabulous Swanston Street, Melbourne. RSVP to the event of Facebook if you’d like to join us. It’s free! Oh come on, have a laugh.

Surplus David M. Green & Moderator Mugs are also available for $20.

See ya round like a record.

Kind regards,
David M. Green
Beats watching Q&A

No comedy. No writers. Catering aplenty.

The Logies are unique among the world’s entertainment industry awards. This is not a compliment.

The organisers would like to believe Australian Television’s “night of nights” is the equivalent to The Oscars. The biggest. The fanciest. The most regarded awards ceremony on the event calendar.

But the Academy Awards are for the silver screen. Not the small screen. The fashion reporting on the red carpet is where the comparison between the two stops. So in that sense, The Logies are more like The Emmys; The American awards for television production.

But if The Logies are supposed to be Australia’s version of The Emmys, why aren’t they run like The Emmys?

Emmy Award winners are decided by industry professionals. Some Logie winners are chosen this way; the categories that begin with “Most Outstanding”. However, the majority of Logie categories begin with “Most Popular” and those winners are decided by votes from the public. It’s basically a popularity contest.

So in that case, The Logies are run more like The MTV Movie Awards. No offense to MTV, but I think that’s pretty embarrassing for Australian Television.

But even The MTV Movie Awards have an award for “Best Comedic Performance”. How many awards do The Logies currently give for comedy? Zero. Pardon the pun, but that’s a joke.

There hasn’t been an award for comedy at The Logies since 2009, when “The Hollowmen” won “Most Outstanding Comedy Program”.

What does that say about Australian comedy if it’s not even acknowledged at the highest level? This serious lack of respect would make Rodney Dangerfield roll over in his grave.

Think about all the hilarious Australian TV shows that have made us laugh through the years: The Late Show, Frontline, Kath & Kim, Hey Hey It’s Saturday, The Chaser, The Micallef Program, Summer Heights High. All of those shows won the Logie for “Most Outstanding Comedy Program”. In fact, some won it twice.

Interesting to note, of the 16 awards for Most Outstanding Comedy Program given between 1994 and 2009, 13 of them were won by the ABC. Goes to show you don’t need money to make outstanding television comedy.

But the best a comedy show can hope for these days is the Logie for “Most Outstanding Light Entertainment Program”.  What is “light entertainment” anyway? Aren’t all television shows supposed to be entertaining?

In 1997, there were three separate Logies for comedy. Roy and HG’s “Club Buggery” won “Most Outstanding Achievement in Comedy”, the hilarious “Full Frontal” won “Most Popular Comedy Program” and Eric Bana won “Most Popular Comedy Personality”.

It was a simpler time. Comedy was comedy. Drama was drama. And reality TV only existed in movies about a fictional dystopian future.

But though comedy is no longer officially recognised by Australian TV, it seems to have crept into just about every other program.

The new buzz word at the moment is “dramedy”. I hate that word. For me, it represents a comedy not quite funny enough that the producers want to commit and call it a comedy. Or a drama not quite dramatic enough to be called a drama. Shows such as Seven’s “Winners and Losers” and Ten’s “Mr and Mrs Murder” have both been promoted as “dramedy” shows.

Network Ten’s “The Project” is another example. Hard news, light tragedy, music, stock footage, infotainment, and a few gags.

But for a really bizarre example of comedy white-anting into a traditionally no-comedy TV zone, take a look at this new comedy segment that’s just appeared on Ten Late News. One recent segment involved my good friend Sam Mac videoing his facial expressions while receiving a series of simulated prostate exams:

I’m a fan of Sam Mac. But this is not a comedy program. This is a late night news program broadcast nationally on Channel Ten. I’d much rather see him do this schtick on his own show – A show that could be nominated for a Logie for comedy.

The Logies also has a serious lack of respect for Australian writers. Unlike The Oscars and The Emmys, The Logies has no awards at all for writing. None for comedy. None for drama. None for a telemovie or miniseries.

I find it absolutely beyond comprehension the industry award body for Australian television doesn’t recognise its writers. Industry people and viewers alike are constantly complaining about the substandard level of screenwriting in Australia. We have great actors. We have world class cinematographers. Australian films and TV shows always look amazing.

But the script? The story? The writing? It’s such an afterthought; we don’t even have an award for it. Who cares, right? Hey, why do we even need writers for TV?

I believe the first step to improve Australia’s reputation for quality screenwriting is to recognise quality screenwriting at the highest level. And the easiest way to do that is to include Logie Awards for writing.

The Logie Awards Ceremony itself also differs from the big American ones. The Oscars. The Emmys. The Tonys. They’re all held in theatres, with a seated audience watching the stage.

But The Logies are conducted more like a pub trivia night, with the audience and nominees seated around tables in the Palladium Ballroom of Melbourne’s Crown Casino. Many of the attendees aren’t even facing the stage.

Is it any wonder nobody wants to host The Logies? It’s widely believed among the TV industry that hosting The Logies is death. It’s a tough room. Most people are there purely to be seen and to enjoy a steak dinner.

At last year’s 54^th Annual Logie Awards, Adam Hills walked out on stage to present the first award, and after establishing that there was no host, he said, “Hosting the Logies is like being one of Gina Rinehart’s children. It sounds good, but you get nothing out of it.”

That’s true for most of the hosts in recent memory. In fact, of the last 10 ceremonies, six of them had no single host. The risk of dying a death on stage was shared by several presenters.

For a truly exceptional ceremony, you have to go back to Shaun Micallef in 2001.

Channel Nine thought so too and they gave him his own tonight show two years later. But Wendy Harmer (2002) and Gretel Killeen (2009) weren’t so lucky.

So how do you cure The Logies? It’s so simple even a TV executive could do it. Bring back awards for comedy. Introduce awards for writing. And hold the ceremony in a theatre where the audience’s attention is on the host. Only then will The Logies be the Australian equivalent of The Emmys.

And so they should be.

Kind regards,
David M. Green
Student of Logie.

It’s another episode of Life of DMG! Moments from the life of me, David M. Green.

In episode 4, I drag out the ole putting machine for the Hawthorn Carpet Classic.

Enjoy.

Kind regards,
David M. Green
Would you like to play again? You have selected… no.

One of the people in the above photo has a legally-obtained Brownlow Medal.

The other week I was riding a tram through Melbourne’s eastern suburbs with my sister, Hannah, when I got a call out of the blue: “Hi David M. Green, it’s Shane Crawford…”

WHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAA???

I worked with Mr Crawf at Crocmedia’s “AFL Live” throughout 2012, providing AFL commentary to regional radio stations around Australia. Though we were never in the same room – I think I met him just the once. Usually, the commentators are at the ground calling the game, while I’m back in the relay studio in South Yarra, operating the control panel.

He says he’s launching his new website and asked if I wanted to help out with his new web show “Crawf TV”. What are you, kidding? Absolutely!

Crawf.com.au went online over the weekend. There’s separate sections for kids and adults, with lots of video content and interactive stuff.

Click here to see the first episode of Crawf TV.

I’m “the webmaster” on the show, providing the Gen Y, online, new-aged digital perspective… or something.  Hey, if I can sell a few more mugs, that’s all that matters.

The team is planning on shooting more, so it’ll be interesting to see how it all develops. Web TV is the future, after all.

In other news I was back panelling at Croc on the weekend. Hadn’t touched a radio control panel in 5 months.

I still got it.

Kind regards,
David M. Green
I’m as surprised as you are!

That’s cold, hard, wet CASH!

And we’re already using it to pay for stuff we need.

All up, we had 72 donors from 4 countries around the globe, each donating an average of $26 and almost doubling our goal of $1,000.

I’d like to thank the following non-anonymous people for their continued support:

Kimberley Seeto
Simon Mould
Rhys Barnard
Elliott Klein
Nick Gates
TV’s Dan Ilic
Ryan Vickers
Craig Faulkner
Greer Forrester
Kristen Rogers
Tom Green
David Cooper
Kate Henning
Jonus DeAguiar
Adam Wozniak
David Dower
Walter Lee
Blazenka Brysha
Van Badham
Tim Mahlberg
Felix of House SYN
Dan Picton
Hayden Faulkner
TV’s Sam Mac
Ellen McCutchan
Rachel Howe
Harrison Gough
Mark Humphries
Sean Campbell
Belle Hammond
Zachary Clapper
Patrick Bosher
Andrew Williams
Michelle Pay
Daniel Guglielmin
Lisa-Skye Goodes
Peter Cirocco
Peter Van Dort
Alessandra Suuberg
Bill Smith
Brendan Johnson
Sam Vandenn
Richard Green
Matt Meiklejohn
Leon Hill
Jane Watkins
Daniel Lawler
Mike Sinclair
Gillian Terzis
Bree Watkins
Ben Hayes
Aaron Hayes
Daniel Krimmer
“The Ultimo Bachelor Pad”
Andrew Sullivan
Jack Savige
Wes Kingston
Terri McCormack
Hannah Green
Rainer Selby
Grahame Buchanan
Grahame’s cat, Bella

You’ve made Season 2 possible. Thank you all so, so much.

To put the geographical scale of this campaign in perspective, this is where the money came from:

View 31 Questions Crowdfunders in a larger map

If you’ve ordered a Moderator Mug, there’ll be a slight delay before you can expect your mug in the mail. I ordered 50 mugs with my face on them, but only 5 of the [arguably more popular] “Anthony” design – so we’ve put in an order for more. T-shirts of specific sizes are also on order. And everyone should receive autographed headshots next week.

We’re also very much enjoying the fan photos. Here are a few more:

My only criticism is that ellipsis has one too many dots. But other than that: *Italian-esque hand gesture where the fingers explode from the lips*.

Now let’s make the damn show.

(Tech rehearsal tomorrow!)

Kind regards,
David M. Green
I’m not a fan of pickles, but now I want one.