Category: Melbourne

  • I am a media machine

    Ahoy hoy!

    With 31 Questions Season 3, writing for Mad As Hell and panelling the footy for Crocmedia, I’ll be a media machine for the next couple of months. Let me give you the low down…

    31 Questions Season 3 starts taping from February 27, and will tape a new episode every Thursday night until April 17. If you’re in Melbourne, or want to drop in, I’d love to see you in the studio audience. There’s been bigger demand this season, so we’ve actually got TICKETS now! So get your FREE ticket(s) by emailing: 31qaudience@gmail.com

    In addition to the free laffs, there’ll also be fabulous merchandise available for low, low, crazily low prices.

    And if you’re coming all the way to Melbourne to see a taping of 31 Questions, you may as well come to an episode of Shaun Micallef’s Mad As Hell. You just might see me lurking in the halls. Studio audience details available here.

    “Italian-style hand gesture where the fingers explode forth from the mouth”

    But if comedy isn’t your thing, I’m not sure why you’re on my website. But as the AFL season approaches, and eventually gets here, you’ll be able to listen in to Crocmedia’s “AFL Live” on radio stations around Australia, as well as online via the AFL website and iPhone app. The inside scoop is Rex Hunt will be returning. And who knows what else? I’m thrilled to be back at the panel for my third year!

    And in other news, Too Easy (that webseries I sometimes do with Alex Williamson) has been selected to screen at the 2014 LA WebFest in Los Angeles! Check it out:

    Fern leaves and everything!

    So if you’re in LA between March 26-30, drop by the Radisson LAX Hotel and tell ’em I sent you. Or just pretend to be me. Unfortunately, I can’t be there because I’m a media machine. Kind like this:

    If you haven’t already, form some sort of connection with me on Facebook and Twitter. I’ll probably be hangin’ round those parts of the Internet with everything going on over the next couple of months.

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    How good is this?

  • 2013 A.D(MG)

    It’s the end of another year this year. And what an end of a year it’s been. Also, the rest of the year was eventful.

    I started 2013 with no regular work and by March I’d run out of money. Well, I say “run out of money”, but I mean it in the first world sense. I got down to my last $9 in the bank, but I still had a car and other things of tangible value, etc. But it was still pretty stressful.

    At one point, I applied for a job as a school crossing guard with the Boroondara Council. It was basically this scene from the 1985 motion picture “Lost in America” starring Albert Brooks:

    I wasn’t successful.

    But I did do this for $150:

    Salvation came with the AFL Season and my return to Crocmedia to panel their fabulous “AFL Live” football commentary to 100 radio stations around Australia. Best radio job I’ve had.

    [Sports writing mode begins]

    The most memorable moment was the Adelaide v. North Melbourne game, Round 9 at Etihad Stadium. The Kangaroos had lead for the entire game, only to have the Crows kick 5 unanswered goals in the final quarter, culminating in an Adelaide goal with only 15 seconds left to give my home town a miracle 1-point victory. It was a fairy tale ending. I’ve never heard Rex Hunt call anything as intense as that.

    You can listen to the highlights package I edited during the game here.

    I don’t leap out of that panel operator’s chair onto my feet very often, but that was one of those moments.

    [Sports writing mode ends]

    After the AFL season finished, I started some weekend panelling at 1116SEN, using the ole MTR studios in Richmond. So finally, that move from Coburg to Hawthorn to be closer to work (2 days before MTR shut down) has actually paid off. Only took 18 months.

    And actually, since I moved in July from the eastern side of Hawthorn to the western side, a stone’s throw from Richmond, I’m close enough to WALK to work in about 15 minutes. The route takes me down Bendigo Street past the old GTV Channel 9 studios, now luxury apartments. To use my favourite cliched broadcasting expression, it’s “absolutely sensational”.

    Please enjoy this guided tour of my new place:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8T2pT_bdvAU

    It’s much better than the last apartment. Cheaper. More space. Laundry taps and an exhaust fan in the bathroom (as mentioned). And the insulation is excellent. That 40 degree day in Melbourne the other week? Barely noticed it. Place doesn’t even have air conditioning. The insulation alone is just so effective.

    2013 has been another year of media delights. In addition to 20 throw-away episodes of my “need an excuse to upload something” vlog series “Life of DMG” (as seen above), I also made a few videos with TV’s Shane Crawford for his website. I was basically Richter to his O’Brien. Shaffer to his Letterman. And to a lesser extent, robot skeleton to his Ferguson. Though I can’t seem to find those videos online any more, you can see part of one in my most recent showreel, where I took one for the team:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F8Y9CBJ_BZs

    31 Questions – The TV game show all the kids are listening about – returned for its second season. We shot 9 episodes, 7 of which were broadcast-able. They aired on community TV stations in Melbourne, Sydney, Brisbane, Perth and New Zealand. And will soon air in Adelaide after they finish repeating the first season.

    Season 2 was a step up in many respects. Better graphics, better editing, a flashier scoreboard, more defined characters and some minor touches here and there. Although it wasn’t quite the step up in lighting and audio that we had hoped.

    There are always challenges and setbacks when you’re making a television show. We had to make do with reduced studio time, simultaneously throughout the production my parents back in Adelaide were splitting up after 29 years of marriage, and worst of all I had a really bad haircut 2 weeks before we started taping.

    But we had some good crowds towards the end and the laughs were there. And what our crew managed to do with those limited resources was quite impressive. Not bad for $4,000?

    This is my favourite episode. It was the Season 2 premier, but it was actually the last episode we shot:

    And in case you missed the memos, 31 Questions is indeed coming back for a third season. We raised $3,262 with our recent crowdfunding campaign and we’re back in the fabulous RMIT University televisual studio from late February.

    This will be the big one. So stay posted if you want to come join the studio audience or BE ON THE SHOW.

    Back in Adelaide, after talking about it for years, my folks have finally sold the family home at Seacliff. I remember the day we moved in: 17 March 1992, just before my 5th birthday.

    It’s a great house. The big walls all around the outside got me quite used to privacy. Everywhere else I’ve lived has seemed quite exposed by comparison. And aside from 9 months in 2000, when the second storey appeared, I lived there 18 years until I left for Melbourne in 2010.

    It was still nice to return to my home town and stay in my old bedroom. But I don’t have that any more. And the SA jaunts haven’t quite been the same. This year in particular, going back to visit Adelaide has felt less and less like visiting home and more like seeing a jigsaw puzzle with pieces gradually being removed and replaced.

    Don’t get me wrong, I love Adelaide and there’s some exciting things going on at the moment. I’ve had many a conversation about local infrastructure projects with anyone who will listen. But it’s not where I want to be right now.

    Ahh I’ll miss that house… But it will live on in so many video projects, like this one:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4oQakmn_cAw

    That reminds me, we really should get around to editing those 3 other Too Easy episodes…

    So that’s about it for 2013. Well I did some other things. I went to Sydney for a bit. Bought a bookcase. Hosted a documentary series about webseries. Had a really nice sandwich, etc.

    But my big news for the new year is I’ll be a writer on the third season of “Shaun Micallef’s Mad As Hell” starting February 2014! Coincidentally, my first day writing is on the 13th, which is the four year anniversary of my move to Melbourne.

    How about that?

    Best move ever.

    Hope you’ve had a good year yourself and things are looking even better for 2014. I’ll see you on the other side.

    You can buy me a coffee.

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    No, I’m serious. Small cappuccino with one, please.

  • 31 Questions S2E06 & Sydney Funtimes

    31 Questions S2E06 aired on C31 Melbourne & Geelong on the 31st day of August. And there is it on glorious YouTube.

    I spent 4 days in Sydney last week. It was the first time in seven years I’d been somewhere that wasn’t Melbourne or Adelaide. And it was fantastic.

    I stayed in the seaside suburb of Sans Souci on the shores of Botany Bay (to my knowledge, the only bay named after a spaceship from Star Trek) with the lovely Barb Badham:

    She’s mother to my good friend and mentor Van Badham. Here’s a photo of her aged 14, which I discovered in a drawer that wasn’t locked in any serious kind of way:

    I forgot that I actually like Sydney. Last time I was there it was for New Year’s Eve 2006 when my Grandma treated the family to watch the fireworks on Sydney Harbour. An unforgettable experience. Back then, I returned to Adelaide via Melbourne. On that trip, I had a much better time in Sydney than Melbourne. To quote my 19-year-old self from my own diary:

    7 January 2007
    “I think I prefer Sydney to Melbourne. Watching this promotional video in the Rialto Tower really gave me the impression Melbourne is an arrogant city. It’s really just a bigger, more disorganised Adelaide.”

    It probably didn’t help I was travelling with my good friend John Timoney and by the time we got to Melbourne, we were well and truly sick of each other. While I’ve got my diaries out, here’s how I felt about Melbourne when I was there again 18 months later:

    12 July 2008
    “Melbourne is great. I can see myself living here more than I could last time.”

    Quite a turn around! And since then, the only news I ever hear about Sydney is to do with traffic congestion, high cost of living and racist electorates in the western suburbs. But I always have a great time when I’m there (I don’t drive and I stay away from the western suburbs).

    Highlights of this Sydney trip include meeting Mark Humphries from ABC2’s “The Roast” at Pizza Hut. We talked comedy and TV and such for 5 hours straight. Didn’t even take a photo with him. But he’s pretty good in this:

    I also caught the train to the Petersham TAFE to be interviewed by Sean Campbell for his “The Sean Campbell Show” on XRLENT Radio. Good guy. We talked about 31 Questions, TVS, RMITV, radio and Adelaide. Here’s the video of our chat:

    On Thursday, after one and a half cancellations, I finally caught up with my old radio pal Matty B at the Queen Victoria Building (or MB at the QVB). Hadn’t seen him in 3 years. Again no photo, but we did do this once:

    [display_podcast]

    And now for the strangest experience of my trip…

    On Thursday night, to coincide with the broadcast of S2E04 on TVS, I journeyed to Ultimo (a couple of streets back from the headquarters of the Australian Broadcasting Corporation), home to the infamous “Ultimo Bachelor Pad” – the self proclaimed (and probably rightly so) biggest 31 Questions fans in, if not Sydney, then the world.

    Now, they are some REAL fans…

    To illustrate:

    Dear God. We must be doing something right with 31 Questions?

    Thanks again to Mike, James, Zoe, Nathan, Mel and (via Skype from Europe) Daniel for a magnificent dinner and cake, as well as their ridiculous amount of support they continue to give to me and the rest of the 31 Questions team. Fans in other cities, you’ve got your work cut out for you if you plan on topping that.

    I’m now safely back in Melbourne. And it’s back to the hyper-reality that is my life.

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    PS. 31 Questions debuts on Face Television New Zealand this Thursday 9.30PM.

  • 2012. Highest of highs. Lowest of lows.

    I started 2012 in much the same way I end it: Relaxing in Adelaide, uncertain about my state of employment when I return to Melbourne.

    12 months ago, I was on my Christmas break from panelling “The Steve Vizard Show” on Melbourne Talk Radio. Instead of finding a fill-in host for 4 weeks, MTR instead took a network feed from 2GB in Sydney. This sparked rumours the show wouldn’t be coming back in 2012.

    My plan was simply to work there as long as possible. That ended up being 7 weeks.

    It was just a regular day at the radio station on 2 March 2012. The Vizard crew left early to have some farewell drinks in St Kilda to celebrate assistant producer Gen’s last day. We were sitting outside on Fitzroy Street around 4.45PM when phones started ringing. And that was it. MTR had been clumbsily pulled off the air by upper management at 5PM.

    Turned out it was everyone’s last day.

    But at least we were in the right place for it. I never ended up paying, so thank you to who ever fixed the bill that night. I went back to the station around 7 o’clock to pick up my bag. Naturally the studio had been dead-bolted, my security pass deactivated and a security guard posted at the front door. Fortunately there was a nice chap at SEN who let me in. I took the opportunity to swipe some post-it notes.

    This happened at a particularly difficult time for me, as I’d just signed a lease on my own apartment two days earlier. Conveniently in the adjacent suburb to the MTR studios. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!?!

    I tried my luck at some other radio stations, though it turns out it’s not much easier to get panelling work even with experience. And in my case anyway, no one seemed particularly interested in paying for training. So the option was to go in and work for free for an indeterminate amount of time with no promise of a job at the end of it, while my rent goes unpaid, or give up and get a job stacking shelves in a supermarket like so many other out-of-work show biz types.

    Hence I was extremely lucky to land another local panelling gig at Crocmedia, working on AFL Live with the legendary sports broadcasters in Rex Hunt, Sandy Roberts and Peter Donegan. Certainly the best part of that whole venture was being the go-to sound effect guy for Rex Hunt. And panelling the Grand Final to 96 radio stations (flawlessly, I might add) is going to be a highlight of radio career that won’t soon be surpassed.

    [display_podcast]

    So from March to April, I went from full time radio work to weekend radio work, with a little casual wedding DJ-ing in between. The DJ-ing lasted until I discovered I was being paid half of the travel allowance I was lead to believe. Is it too much to ask to be given a freaking break?

    Though less money was coming my way, I did have an abundance of time, which came in handy in the lead up to shooting the first season of my TV game show 31 Questions. This was why I moved to Melbourne, after all.

    Television.

    Without a doubt, it’s been the best experience of my life. My favourite part of the process was being in the studio, joking around with the cast, crew and contestants. When a gag I had written months earlier was finally delivered (not necessarily by me) and it actually WORKED, I can’t describe how rewarding the laughter was. It was such a thrill when anything on that show actually worked. Even the buzzers.

    And I’m so pleased with how far the show has come. It was always a distant goal to get it aired on all the community stations around Australia. And we did it. We even got approved by a TV station in New Zealand.

    The team and I now have our eyes set on a second season, which is due to start shooting in March 2013. There are still plenty of mistakes we made in season 1, which I’m relishing the opportunity to improve upon.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KOVE3TJtkYE

    Here are some of my favourite ridiculously positive comments left on the 31 Questions Facebook Page this year:

    Lachlan Couley, Sydney, 4 Dec
    “This is the best show I’ve ever watched in my whole life.”

    Jacob Thaw, Melbourne, 26 Jul
    “I don’t think it would be unreasonable to say that this is the best game show on c31. Perhaps even the best show on television. 31 thumbs up!”

    Daniel Barrie, Sydney, 17 Dec
    “You guys are flippin Hillarious! Me and my housemates watch this crap every week!!! Lmfao the best half hour I waste every week”

    Pip Schapel, Adelaide, 20 Nov
    “Dear 31 questions, I’m devastated tonights your last show. came across it a few wks back & it’s f****** awesome. Some of the contestants are fair average though…I would win this show, I get heaps of these questions right. Hope you do another season PEACE!”

    Blazenka Brysha, Melbourne, 11 Jun
    “I think the reason you lot are not on the ABC is because you are so entertaining. I do hope that you can still remain so chipper and creative when the ABC lures you into its staid straightjacket.”

    Lachy Palmos, Perth, 16 Oct
    “this is probably the best show on television at the moment…legit”

    How fantastic is that? People who actually like the show! Thanks everyone. It’s so rewarding to read these comments.

    Perhaps more interesting, what does it say about the general state of TV in Australia when someone would actually say that our crappy little game show is “the best show on television”?

    Obviously a pretty sad line up…

    I’ve also done quite a bit of freelance writing work this year, appearing in/on The Drum, Mamamia, The Punch, mX and Australian Popular Science Magazine.

    There were a handful of other little creative projects: a couple of podcasts, more Too Easy episodes, a screenplay, the odd bit of voice-over work, etc. I also spent seven weeks working at a digital advertising agency. It was a valuable experience in the sense I’ve added another occupation to the list of jobs I don’t want.

    In the year of our lord 2012, I also made my debut on ABC Radio National’s “The Science Show” with a 5 minute radio story about a Carl Sagan-inspired play at the Malthouse Theatre called “Pale Blue Dot”.

    Science has always been an interest of mine. Had comedy not been my chosen path, I reckon I’d have set my eyes on space.

    After 4 years of ABC job applications, I finally managed to get a few casual producing shifts at 774 ABC Melbourne, producing for “The Morning Program” with Jon Faine. I enjoyed working there and would definitely be interested in MORE SHIFTS… something to keep pursuing in 2013 😉

    In fact, the ABC has been the dream for a long time. It seems to be the the only place in radio or TV in Australia that really gives talent the opportunity to develop and create content that isn’t about Kim Kardashian.

    Though I only did 3 shifts at ABC 774 this year, I did meet Jill Meagher a few weeks before she died. She was the unit assistant, so she handled all the paperwork when I started. She was a lovely person and like everyone else, I was completely shocked and deeply saddened when she was found raped and murdered.

    Events like this, terrible as they are, give people a chance to step back and appreciate the important things in life. And I’ll tell you what, petty office politics isn’t one of them.

    Possibly the biggest lifestyle change I’ve experienced this year is a new found appreciation for tea. That’s all thanks to Van Badham, my close friend and mentor. She introduced me to Dilmah Rose and French Vanilla tea with vanilla soy milk. Sure, it’s more camp than a row of tents. But it’s absolutely sensational.

    Tea tastes considerably better when you have it in a proper teacup. As nice as it is to drink a hot beverage from a mug with my face on it, a traditional teacup holds less liquid, so the tea is more highly concentrated. And I think there’s something about the cone-esque shape of the cup that aerates the tea better, or some crap.

    Anyway, my parents have a bunch of old porcelain handed down through the generations just sitting in boxes at the family mansion. They haven’t been used in 50 years or something. So I’ve taken it upon myself to take them to Melbourne. What’s the point of having these fabulous antiques if you aren’t getting pleasure from using them?

    You only live once. These things are supposed to be enjoyed!

    So what’s the plan for 2013?

    Season 2 of “31 Questions” on Channel 31 and beyond. And some more paid work would be nice.

    I’d also like to invest in my own proper recording equipment so I can finally be free to create audio masterpieces without having to rely on other people or organisations.

    Anything else will be a bonus.

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    See you in 2013.

  • 31 Questions in mX!

    In case you missed it…

    In other news, I can also announce the low budget TV game show no one’s heard of will begin airing in Perth and Adelaide within 2 weeks:

    Watch 31 Questions on WestTV Perth Saturdays 11.30PM starting August 25. Also repeated Mondays 10PM.

    Or if you’re in Australia’s 5th largest city, catch the show on 44 Adelaide Tuesdays 10.30PM starting August 28.

    Alternatively, you could just watch 69.2% of the whole first season on YouTube RIGHT NOW!

    For Melburnians and Geelong…ans… though, you can be the first to see Ep #10 TONIGHT 10PM on your Channel 31.

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    Oh yeah and something about America…