Category: Melbourne

  • C31 Melbourne approves 31 Questions for second pilot!

    The title says it all!

    Fellow 31 Questions producer Simon Eastwood, as well as RMITV Student Television general manager Eliza Beck and I met with C31’s Kirk Goodsell yesterday to discuss our TV game show.

    The meeting went about as well as we could have hoped. Channel 31 seemed to love the show. So much so that they’ve given us the rare opportunity to actually re-film our pilot episode because, as we all agreed, the concept is strong, but our execution can be better.

    We were provided with excellent feedback from C31. It’s always refreshing to receiving constructive criticism, as opposed to just criticism.

    So I’m happy to announce that we’ll be filming a new pilot in late March. I’ll return as host, with the lovely Minky Cooper as the show’s scorekeeper. And joining us this time at the moderator’s desk will be the resplendent Alasdair Tremblay-Birchall, as Lachlan’s movin’ to Colac to actually make use of his journalism degree. We wish him all the best.

    We’ve got a re-designed set in the works and a long list of lessons we learnt from the pilot. I personally can’t wait to prove we can do better.

    Assuming the pilot redux goes well, there shouldn’t be anything preventing C31 from approving us for a season starting in June and running through to the end of August.

    Hopefully, we’ll one day hoist our logo somewhere on the C31 Hall of Fame – if there is such a thing – next to past stand out shows as: “Chartbusting 80s”, “Hotdog with the Lot” and C31’s infamous “Overnight Fishtank”, which I can only assume was the same one in their waiting room:

    Also, while I’ve got your attention, we’ll be needing some contestants for the new pilot, and the eventual series. That’s where YOU come in!

    This was recently sent to all RMITV Student Television members (you should totally sign up, by the way):

    Hey! Are you under 30? Do you like trivia? Wanna be on the TV?!? THEN READ
    THIS!

    “31 Questions” is a brand new game show produced by RMITV coming soon to Channel 31 Melbourne. And we need contestants!

    Hosted by TV’s David M. Green and assisted by the glamorous Minky Cooper, with Alasdair Tremblay-Birchall as the show’s moderator, “31 Questions” gives ordinary people a chance to prove their trivial superiority.

    So if you’ve got a knack for general knowledge and pop culture, and used to watch shows like “Sale of the Century” and “Vidiot” in the mid 90s, all the while wishing that was YOU answering those questions, now’s your chance to live the dream!

    You could even win some fabulous* prizes…

    If you’d like to be a contestant, contact our lovely producer, Simon Eastwood – simonpeter.eastwood@gmail.com

    Make sure to include your name, gender, age, email address and mobile number, as well as any previous television experience (no experience necessary).

    31 Questions. The people’s quiz show.

    *Prize fabulousness subject to personal opinion.

    Now… we have a lot to organise…

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    Keep checking back for the latest 31Q news, or better yet, follow me on Twitter or Facebook!

  • One year in Melbourne!

    It’s one year to the day since I moved to Melbourne!

    February 13 2010. The day I cast off the dead-end one-horse town of Adelaide and flew to Melbourne to chase the show biz dream. What a year.

    I’ve done things I couldn’t dream of doing in Adelaide. The move remains, probably forever, one of my top 5 life decisions.

    They weren’t all good times. Moving cities is very hard. And my first month in Melbourne was terrible. For anyone who’s been through it, I’m sure you can relate to this:

    The above photo pretty much sums up the memory of my first few weeks in Melbourne. No family. No friends. No idea where anything was. No Internet. A shithouse sharehouse in Altona (which incidentally, has since been demolished). No idea how I was going to cope with journalism and a new casual job at a cinema that should have been great, but was made unnecessarily stressful by the boss, who was, and remains (probably forever), a complete arse hole.

    At one point, I think on my second shift there, he took me aside and said, “I don’t know how people do things in Adelaide, but this is Melbourne.” What a dick.

    But somehow I got through all that crap and 2010 turned out to present a bevy of experiences.

    I was hired and fired, I met new friends and fell out with them, got drunk, danced the night away, encountered people I’d only ever seen on TV, became a professional writer, hosted a television show, was rejected in a variety of contexts more times than I can recall, explored the suburbs, rode the rails, once walked from Flinders Street to Bell Street, was in a car accident, and learnt a whole lot of important life lessons, the grit of which I won’t go into here.

    As for the highlights, here’s a few photos that sum up the best of my first year in Melbourne…

    5. Interview #2 with Shaun Micallef

    It’s always an incredible honour to speak to my childhood hero and partial inspiration for moving to Melbourne. Those photos got me many an envious comment of praise. And I made sure to put the worst one on Shaun’s Wikipedia page, which for some reason, is still there. You can read my full interview with Shaun Micallef here… well, not “here”. Just over there, where the hyperlink is.

    4. Nightlife

    I never really “went out” in Adelaide. Melbourne 2010 was an awakening for my social life. Dancing to ’80s music at Trades Hall. Birthday parties at strange bars in strange suburbs I’d never heard of before. And unimaginable fun.

    For the most part of my first year in Melbourne, I didn’t have a car, and often found myself tagging along with strangers at 2 o’clock in the morning. I’ve had some very interesting conversations with taxi drivers, some of whom seemed to know less about Melbourne than I did.

    And I learnt a very important lesson about where my “limit” is. I haven’t been able to drink Carlton Draught since. Probably a good thing really.

    3. RMIT

    It was the catalyst for moving to Melbourne. I was accepted into the prestigious Graduate Diploma of Journalism at RMIT University, which I completed with distinction.

    It wasn’t just about the journalism. Radio, TV, writing, presenting, editing, dealing with people. I learnt so much in 2010. Universities aren’t just “degree factories”. I certainly grew as a person. I felt I grew more in my one year of journalism than I did in my three years of Behaviour Science at Flinders.

    One of the other benefits was the friendships. And I was invited into my fair share of beds…

    2. Television City

    The photo above has been by desktop background pretty much since November 25, 2010, when we shot the pilot for “31 Questions”, my community TV game show. THIS was why I moved to Melbourne. I want a career in television. I’m certainly on my way.

    Using “Studio A” at RMIT University city campus on fabulous Swanston Street, myself and a long list of volunteers filmed the first episode of “31 Questions”. We were under-time by 8 minutes. A bit of a shambles. But we got there in the end.

    At present we’ve been approved by RMITV Student Television for a series, pending approval from Channel 31 Melbourne. I’m very much looking forward to making 13 new episodes this year. Here’s hoping!

    1. Team Bell Street

    That’s right. “Team Bell Street”. After my horror share house experience in Altona, I frantically searched for somewhere else to live. After a long list of rejections, I eventually checked out a house at the end of the Number 1 tram line to East Coburg. Right on Bell Street.

    It was a little further out from the city than I wanted, but when Steph and Virginia offered me the room, I couldn’t refuse. It’s been almost a year since I moved in. A few people have come and gone – two German exchange students, Waldo and Toby. And after a couple of months, Kolinda moved in.

    I gotta say, I am very lucky to have found this place. I didn’t know any of them. They let me move in with them based purely on a brief meeting in their kitchen.

    I sometimes take them for granted, but together we’ve had a lot of laughs and I’ve always been able to count on Team Bell Street to cheer me up when I’m feeling down.

    They’re a good bunch. And Team Bell Street had a major role in me being able to claim Melbourne as my home.

    So as I raise a Farmer’s Union Iced Coffee, I say I couldn’t have asked for a better first year in Melbourne… Well, actually of course I could have… but it’ll do. And here’s to many, many more.

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    Melburnian

  • The Magic Factory Podcast! 3SYN 90.7FM

    Yes finally!

    It’s been two weeks since Antonio Cafasso and I teamed up for a 7-hour straight graveyard broadcast on Melbourne’s SYN 90.7FM, and I’ve finally cut together the podcast.

    Now, I know you people are busy with your various “commitments” (work/family/various drug addictions/etc.) so I’ve created a “Best of The Magic Factory” podcast just for you, the listener on the go:

    The Magic Factory – BEST OF – Podcast  (66 mins)
    Featuring the best bits of David M. Green & Antonio Cafasso’s graveyard shift on 3SYN 90.7FM January 27-28 2011. Taylor’s Hill Tailors, Antonio’s weight loss job, David M. Green’s Songs to Have Sex to, live cross to Sam Mac in Perth, Shane Warne Soundboard Prank Calls, re-setting public transport, The Magic Factory Newsroom, fun with sound effects & Alan Jones clips, song intro challenge, Lorne Lawns & a live call from “Steve” at a Lilydale petrol station.

    But for the REAL fans, or if you just don’t have a life and you’d like to listen to the FULL podcast, you’re in luck!

    The complete The Magic Factory podcast can be downloaded below in three parts, for your convenience. Obviously the music has been removed, which reduces 7 hours to about 3 hours and 45 minutes.

    Perfect for any long drive (when, for some reason, you don’t want to listen to music). Alternatively, import them into your Grand Theft Auto PC game so you can listen to Antonio and me play wacky sound effects as you mow down hookers with an AK-47!

    The Magic Factory FULL Podcast PART #1 (72 mins)
    Taylor’s Hill Tailors, driving in Melbourne & dealing with VicRoads, Antonio’s weight loss job, David M. Green’s Songs to Have Sex to, live cross to Sam Mac in Perth, Shane Warne Soundboard Prank Calls,  re-setting public transport, Too Easy: The Webseries & DMG’s pen.

    The Magic Factory FULL Podcast PART #2 (72 mins)
    DMG’s adventures in commercial radio, The Magic Factory Newsroom, origins of the Alan Jones clips, horrible share-housing experiences, Peter Macinkovic calls in, DMG records some demo radio talkbreaks for Gold 104.3FM, song intro challenge, Antonio’s hilarious fart sounds, Lorne Lawns & Rove L.A.

    The Magic Factory FULL Podcast PART #3 (79 mins)
    Elaborately over-produced IDs, bed music samples, Adelaide v. Melbourne, more Alan Jones, DMG “picks up” at the cinema, texts from the listeners, David M. Green’s Songs to Have Sex to (reprise), DMG’s “31 Questions” TV game show pilot, a live call from “Steve” at a Lilydale petrol station, plans for the day, a chat with Nicholas Waxman from “Get Cereal” & a live call from “Jennifer”, some random listener.

    Overall a fantastic experience. Comedy on radio is a huge passion of mine and it was great to get back behind the panel. Although, I’m not jumping at the opportunity to do 7 hours straight again… This is us at 6AM…

    Although, a return to a regular hour slot is not out of the question. The question is where, who and when…

    Special thanks again to Antonio. You can hear from the clips we were genuinely having a great time. The laughter is real, I can assure you. That’s what makes great radio, in my opinion.

    Happy listening.

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    I’m radioactive!

  • Raw Comedy 2011… Eh…

    I guess I did cast a shadow at this afternoon’s Raw Comedy heat at Melbourne’s fabulous Northcote Social Club, but this literal shadow wasn’t what the judges were looking for.

    I was on first, which is always a tough spot. The audience wasn’t really warmed up. And no one was drunk yet. However, I’m not sure whether alcohol would have increased the crowd’s appreciation for my cerebral blend of humour.

    I am not a particularly good “stand-up” comedian.

    I think a lot of my gags would work better if written on a desk calendar…

    I don’t do jokes about where I’m from (who cares?). I don’t play to the room. I don’t swear in my routine. And David M. Green doesn’t go blue, unless it’s “clever”, and even then, I personally find using the scientific words for things funnier than their crude slang equivalents. This doesn’t seem to be a shared love.

    Maybe if I did the opposite of what I just stated above, I’d get more laughs. But, what would be the point?

    I have really high standards, both for my own material, and that of other comedians. So generally I find myself sitting quietly in the audience hearing other comedians play on some old gender/racial/locational stereotypes, thinking, “this has been done”.

    It’s quite heart-breaking. But of course, what do you expect? People are idiots, after all.

    So why do I keep doing this?

    Because comedy is networking. Because people don’t take you seriously as a comedian unless you do stand-up. To show people I can write and perform, fundamental skills that apply to other comedy formats, eg. television, radio, etc.

    And also, so stuff like this happens:

    Triple J’s Dave Callan came up to me after the show and took me up on my offer of free autographed headshots!

    I guess the day wasn’t a complete waste of time.

    So that’s it for me and Raw Comedy. You can only enter 3 times, which I have now done. Certainly my best appearance was last year, when for some reason, everything just worked:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WmdTp97X9oA

    But if you want to experience a more DMG-friendly comedy format, tune in to “The Magic Show” on SYN 90.7FM from 8pm, Thursday January 27. I’ll be radio-ing with Antonio Cafasso until 6am!  Ten hours of sketches, prank calls, guests, obscure ’80s new wave music and a few other surprises…

    Now you’re talkin’!

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    Did someone say excessively over-produced IDs?

  • Melbourne Motorist

    I am once again behind the wheel!

    After a year in Melbourne relying solely on Melbourne’s ample rail and light rail to travel predominantly to and from the city, I’ve caved in to my old Adelaide ways and purchased my third Toyota Corolla. This one a 2000 Toyota Corolla Ascent.

    Bring on adventures in suburbia!

    Buying a car is no easy task. I wanted to get it done as quickly as possible, so I found a car I liked, called the owner, gave it a test drive and agreed to pay him the advertised price of $7999.

    In hindsight this was possibly a little hasty, as it turns out the maximum I can insure this car for is $6100… Although it did come with custom wheels and a few months of registration (and had only done 67,000km in 10 years). I just hope to God nothing happens to it in the next year, so I can get my money’s worth.

    Let’s get something straight. Cars are horrible investments.

    They cost a fortune to purchase. They cost a fortune to run. And they only go down in value.

    However, they do buy time and convenience. And that’s tricky to put a price on.

    Of course, this has already been one expensive exercise…

    In addition to the cost of the car, comprehensive insurance for 6 months was $524.70 and registration transfer and stamp duty cost another $352.90. Jesus. And the previous owner generously left me no petrol. Is it too much to ask for a quarter of a tank?

    And I’ve already discovered first hand the insanely frustrating bureaucratic machine that is VicRoads

    I had to go into the Carlton office THREE times before I was able to give them the registration transfer papers and pay the stamp duty. Firstly I went in, with all the correct paperwork (properly filled in, I might add…), and they wouldn’t accept my South Australian driver’s licence as a legitimate form of ID. Not Victorian enough. I needed something with my current address on it.

    So I returned later that day, but the line was too long, and after waiting in the appointment line, so I could make an appointment to come back and wait in line later, I realised I would be late for what turned out to be a fruitless job interview, unless I left immediately.

    The next day I once again trudged into VicRoads, and this time I cleared my whole day, which I suggest you do too if you ever need to go in there.

    Handed over my forms. Forked over $352.90 for no obvious reason. Then the lady there asks me when I want to schedule another appointment to change my South Australian licence over to a Victorian one.

    “Well… do I have to? I’ve still got five years left on my SA licence?”

    She replies, “By law if you have a car registered in Victoria you have to have a Victorian driver’s licence. You have 3 months to change it over.”

    It was an odd feeling at that moment. I actually felt a small wave of sadness sweep over me.

    I would have to give up the last trace of my South Australian identity. Literally, I would have to forfeit the licence that I’d carried in my wallet since 2006:

    I’m not ashamed of where I come from. I do of course prefer my life here in Melbourne to Adelaide. This is more than that. This is about who I am.

    I’m already enrolled to vote in Victoria. I have a Victorian student card and a Victorian transport concession card. But this was the last proof that I had that I was an outsider.

    DO YOU REALISE WHAT THIS MEANS!?!

    David M. Green is now a Victorian. The number plate proves it. And If I ever drive back to SA, I will be treated as such: a “Bloody Victorian”.

    Well, I guess it’s but a small price to pay for the convenience of car ownership.

    It’s increased the range of jobs for which I can apply. It’s meant I’ve been able to spontaneously visit friends in hard-to-reach suburbs like Kew and Mt Waverly. And I’ve already given a friend a lift to the airport. And that’s quite a gesture in Melbourne.

    $8876.60 well spent.

    However… I do really need a job now… Anyone?

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    Who’s gonna drive ya home… tonight?