Category: radio

  • It’s 2024 Etc.

    Well, that’s a quarter of the 21st Century done… Hey, anyone else feel like consequences no longer exist, apparently nothing matters any more and everything’s kinda terrible? Yeah.

    I think the Macquarie Dictionary made the right choice for their word of the year: ‘enshittification’.

    Whether it’s coffees and boxes of cereal getting smaller and more expensive, social media becoming inundated with garbage to the point where it’s essentially useless, or Melbourne City Council removing free street parking on the weekends, it seems many things that used to be quite good are now all just a little bit shit. Oh and Trump being re-elected. Really? How was he even allowed to RUN again? The guy should be in prison.

    Anyway, putting all that to one side, I’ve had a good year.

    Let’s start with VHS Revue and (once again) it’s been the best year ever. Made 10 new episodes – Ep 60 will be out in January – which is fewer than the 16 I released in 2023 but they’re longer this year so it works out to about the same runtime.

    Started the year with just under 2,000 YouTube subscribers. It’s now 5,591. This Tedious Explanation was responsible for some of that:

    As were a few more radio appearances, including some ABC shows and my first time as an in-studio guest on 3AW – and with my old pal Tony Moclair from the Mad as Hell writers’ room no less:

    Only one TV appearance this year but it was a good one. On October 8th I was a guest on The Cheap Seats Season 4 Episode 24 showing a few of the stranger ads I’ve unearthed on VHS Revue over the years. Watch it on 10 Play.

    It’s been really rewarding seeing the overwhelmingly positive reaction to these episodes and I love reading everyone’s nice comments (as well as the occasional nut trying to convince me that Coon Cheese isn’t a problematic brand name). To both groups I say Cheers!

    I was back pushing the buttons at SEN for another year, mostly on their live sport broadcasts: AFL(W), (W)BBL, NBL, netball, golf, greyhound racing (hasn’t been banned here yet!) and the odd breakfast and morning show on various local stations around the country.

    Here’s me in action playing some AFL highlights out of a break:

     

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    If you’re wondering what the bed music was during that highlights package, barely audible over the cue speaker, it was this classic. This of course was shortly before panel operators were forbidden from choosing their own music.

    Wore the traditional attire to panel the AFL Grand Final again obviously.

    Also this year I picked up some casual panelling work at SCA. It was a bit of a surreal experience actually as my first radio job back in 2008 was panelling radio at SAFM in Adelaide – back when Southern Cross Austereo was just Austereo – primarily babysitting the Sydney-based network feed of ‘The Hot 30 with Tim Lee and Biggzy’.

    Now here I was 16 years later panelling none other than Tim Lee on Melbourne’s Fox FM for a week of OBs at Crown Casino! Thanks again Tim for the opportunity. And also good to work with Fox FM afternoon presenter Kat Markey.

    Australian media really is a series of revolving doors. If you wait around long enough, eventually you’ll get back in. If you haven’t been flung out under a bus.

    Although I only did a handful of shifts at Fox FM this year, it did give rise to one unusual situation on March 22 where I panelled for two different commercial radio networks on the same day. Figured I’d choose that day to do one of those ‘Day in the Life’ type videos. And here it is:

    Of course, if it were a typical day in my life in 2024 a large percentage of it would be me either sitting in front of my laptop writing/editing VHS Revue or sitting with Gus as he transfers his toys one by one from the toy box to every empty part of the floor while the same four kids’ YouTube videos play on repeat. But who wants to see that?

    As for family life in Melbourne, we’re doing well. Feels like we’re finally putting down some roots in the community. We’ve got lots of friends within walking distance and I’ve now joined both the local library and R.S.L. (Boy, if I had known how cheap the food and beverage prices were at the Coburg R.S.L. when I lived in the Bell Street share house back in 2010 I would have signed up a lot sooner).

    No olives this year on our trees. In fact, I didn’t see many on any of the olive trees around the neighbourhood. Great year for plums and cherries though.

    Annika did an amazing job transforming the run-down cubby house in our backyard into what I’ve dubbed The Gingerbread Shed. Lost count of how many Bunnings trips we made but it’s been a hit with both the kids and grown-ups alike.

    Annika, Gus and I went to Sweden again for a few weeks in June/July. Gus had most of his 2nd birthday in the skies above the Middle East and Eastern Europe (not exactly where you’d want to be at the moment).

    The flights this time round were a lot better than last time. He slept for most of it. Memories of the 2023 flights from Australia to Northern Europe with a 1-year-old are still in the process of being repressed.

    This time though Gus could walk, which changed things a little. He loves walking. Away, mostly.

    The log cabin we stayed in at Dalarö was near a parking area for construction vehicles and if Gus got outside he’d immediately start running up the dirt road to look at the trucks and front-end loaders.

    He’s got an eagle eye for little details too and while we’re out walking he will often say a word, eg. “candy cane”, and only after a while we realise he’d actually seen a candy cane decoration in someone’s window 50 metres away. He honed this skill in Sweden to pick wild blueberries with great success.

    I prefer the wild strawberries myself. They’re small but they pack a burst of flavour.

    Sweden highlights this year include visiting Junibacken (AKA Astrid Lindgren World), seeing two baby deer with their mother on our front lawn and the usual joys of lovely food, drinks and saunas with family and friends.

    I signed up to Bluesky this year. That’s now 10 social media apps I have on my phone. 10! God, remember the days when it was just Facebook and Twitter and that had you covered? Those were the two logos you saw in every TV show’s end credits, or the cafe’s front window, or the back of the bottle of hair spray. Who exactly would befriend a pharmaceutical company on Facebook or follow their favourite brand of dip on Twitter, I’m not sure (both now and back in 2012 when I was actually writing Tweets and Facebook posts for such brands).

    But Facebook and Twitter have been crap for ages now. You used to see fun updates from your friends and interesting news. Now on Facebook I just see stuff from pages I don’t follow between the occasional birth/death/marriage. And everything good about Twitter has been systematically removed one by one ever since Elon Musk took over. Eg. letting any Nazi incel buy a blue verification badge, suppressing tweets with external links, hiding quote tweets and likes, the search function barely works at all, and apparently the only people who reply to tweets now have OnlyFans pages (which wouldn’t be a problem if their comments were actually relevant to the tweet they’re replying to).

    Bluesky has been a breath of fresh air. It’s like what Twitter used to be – The Twitter of the early 2010s. The enshittification process hasn’t taken hold yet. I’m sure it will of course, but for now it’s a nice place and I think I’ll be spending more time there. Come join me and VHS Revue.

    As for next year, I’ve already got quite a bit of work locked in, which is a nice change. Plus I’m planning a couple of new projects: a podcast with the ole GAA gang and a book. Both should be fun. Watch this space.

    This year I could finally do that Monty Python and The Holy Grail line “I’m 37, I’m not old”. In November I made a brief trip back to Adelaide to (among other things) attend my 20th high school reunion. This is the first one where you really start to see some variation in how people are ageing. There were some classmates who looked exactly how I remember them and others who look about 60. I think I’m somewhere in the middle.

    It was just an informal gathering at a bar in Glenelg. Maybe 70-80 people there, so about a third of the whole year level. I’m guessing a third of people don’t live in Adelaide any more and another third probably want to put that whole chapter of their lives out of their… lives. And fair enough. Me, I didn’t mind Sacred Heart Senior School. Hated most of my four years at the middle school. By comparison, years 10-12 weren’t so bad. A lot of good memories.

    Our Year 12 video (which I had personally converted to a .mp4 from the 20-year-old DVD) was projected onto a wall with the sound off. It was a nice addition, which we didn’t do at the 10th reunion. Back in 2004 there were a couple of people with a nice video camera who came to school and recorded interviews with kids and showed up to capture all the big moments, eg. sports day, retreats, the formal, muck up day, etc. At the end of the year everyone got a copy for our personal archives. We were the first year to get a choice between VHS and DVD.

    Apparently they stopped making Year 12 videos a few years after us? Not sure if that’s true but if so, that’s a shame. Sure, every kid at school now is recording video on their phones every day probably, but without someone to coordinate it and cut it into some sort of coherent highlight package, it’s not much use.

    After the reunion ended just past midnight, it was a nice night so I figured I’d walk in the direction of my Mum’s place in Brighton and get an Uber when I got too tired. The walk down Brighton Road took me right by Sacred Heart College. It was about 1.15 in the morning and the gate was open so naturally I wandered in and had a look around. While trying to remember what the brickwork in the quadrangle used to look like, I saw a possum crawl by with a little baby possum riding on its back. I suspect they weren’t supposed to be there either.

    I ended up walking all the way to Mum’s. As usual with this genius tactic, you typically reach a point where you’re too close to your destination to justify paying the Uber service charge so you just keep going. You know, in all the years I lived in Seacliff, not once had I ever done that walk.

    I think it’s good to do new things, while occasionally looking back at the old things.

    Hope you have a good 2025. I’ll be around.

    DMG

    Oh yeah also I was diagnosed with Lyme Disease and found broken glass in a packet of chicken nuggets but more on that later.

  • Chatting VHS Revue with David Astle on ABC Radio Melbourne

    Hey,

    Here’s a chat I had with David Astle on ABC Radio Melbourne last year. Talking about VHS Revue, video tapes and VCRs.

    DMG

  • Goodness Gracious 2023

    Urgh here we go again.

    2023 was certainly the year of VHS Revue. With no writing work on Mad as Hell for the first time in a decade, I figured I’d go all in on the video tape-based web series I’ve been dabbling on since 2008. And I reckon the hard work paid off.

    I made 16 episodes to bring the total to 50. This one is probably my favourite:

    I thought I’d try doing some PR this year too. I ended up appearing on three radio shows, eight podcasts, plus three TV appearances! Here’s me shitting myself on Studio 10 shortly before the show was axed:

    And here I am on Today Extra a mere 34 hours after getting back from Sweden, not entirely sure if any of this was real:

    Then there’s the show’s growing audience on social media – especially TikTok – which started the year with about 12k followers and ends it at more than 27k, with one clip gaining more than one million views – a first for me on any platform.

    It’s never the ones you think will do well…

    @vhsrevue

    Remember when Kmart sold stuff besides plastic shoes? Get a load of their range in this Aussie ad from 1984. #kmart #australia #vhsrevue #80s #nostalgia #videogames

    ? original sound – VHS Revue

    Those 16 new episodes were also just enough to reach the magic 4,000 watch hours on YouTube within a 12 month period, thus finally allowing me to become a partner and start getting a slice of that YouTube ad money. So far I’ve made 28 cents.

    The Patreon account has been a bit more successful. Currently the show has 52 paid subscribers. Thanks, you people! And thanks to everyone else who’s helped me make the show – or just watched it – over the last 50 episodes.

    Oh yeah and I wrote an article for The Guardian too.

    But what does the future hold for VHS Revue? Well I’ve certainly got no shortage of tapes…

    Other work things and back in March I was in a TV commercial for Seek.com.au.

    More of that please.

    I had a little writing work on a TV quiz show and wrote a bit of website copy but nothing like Mad as Hell unfortunately. Doesn’t feel like there’ll be a show like that again any time soon, which is a bit of a shame (speaking as both a writer and viewer).

    Still panelling radio at SEN. Pushed the buttons for the usual things: AFL, NBL, BBL, AFLW. I also panelled SEN’s first ever netball radio broadcast and did some of the FIFA Women’s World Cup coverage.

    The Australia v. France penalty shootout was a pretty special sporting moment to be part of. You can see me on the video through the glass here.

    See if you can tell what went wrong…

    I also did a few days on Trade Radio and ended the year with three weeks panelling Afternoons with Jimmy Smith and The Run Home with Joel & Fletch on 1170 SEN Sydney.

    The Sydney studios were out of action in November/December for refurbishing so all their programming had to be panelled from other studios around the network. It also resulted in my first on-air appearance on said network. Despite working for Crocmedia/SEN since 2012 and being referred to on various shows by everyone from Rex Hunt to Tim Gossage, I’d never actually been on air. Mainly because I can’t talk about sport. Still, The Run Home guys invited me on to say hi and once Jimmy Smith found out I was a comedy writer, well I had to give him something:

    [display_podcast]

    It’s been so long since I’ve hosted a radio show, I do kind of miss it. So it was cool this year to be part of a podcast pilot called ‘Back in Those Days’ with Isabella Valette, which we recorded at the fabulous HitMaker Studios in Port Melbourne. Hope we can make more of those.

    Annika, Gus, Rockley and I have settled into Coburg. We’ve got our favourite cafés, playgounds and local landmarks (ie. The Cat House – if you know, you know).

    One of the highlights of the year was our olive harvesting party, where we had some friends round to hang out, eat nice bread and pick the olives off our seven olive trees. We got 62kg of olives, which we had turned into 6 litres of olive oil.

    There were still a few buckets left on the trees so I also preserved some in jars, a process I found surprisingly enjoyable. The black ones in particular turned out great. Probably won’t bother with the green ones next time (a bit too acidic. Probably best to use those for oil).

    In June/July we spent a month in Sweden for midsommer. It was my first overseas trip since the pandemic, our first long haul flight with a baby and probably the worst thing I’ve ever experienced. But once we got there it was quite nice.

    We introduced Gus to Annika’s side of the family. My Mum and her partner Nigel came too and they met all the Swedish relatives. Basically a lot of time with family and friends; eating, drinking, saunaing and enjoying the long summer days outdoors.

    I’d been to Sweden three times before but this was my first time driving a car there. Thanks to those skills I picked up on our honeymoon in the US though, it wasn’t nearly as terrifying. Just like riding a bike.

    Couldn’t quite say the same for the kayak…

    That year 8 canoeing camp didn’t do squat.

    Oh and I saw a moose for the first time! Which I’m told is actually quite rare. It was munching on some grass in the glade just outside our house. Had to get out the video camera for that one:

    Thankfully the flight back wasn’t as bad.

    God if there was ever a time to have a row to yourself…

    There a Bob Odenkirk stand-up bit that gets recited quite a bit in our house:

    “At some point your kids kinda mutate. They go from being beautiful miracles of love into the worst roommates you’ve ever had. Because they become roommates who: don’t help, who you have to drive around, who don’t think you’re funny, kinda hate you… you have to feed them or you go to jail. YOU go to jail if you don’t feed them. And you’ve had bad roommates but the worst part is you love them. You love these bastards.”

    And he’s only 18 months…

    No surprise I didn’t watch as many things or read as many books this year. Basically every free moment I had went into VHS Revue. But I did read ‘Lincoln in the Bardo’ by George Saunders (2017), which was absolutely brilliant. Very original and full of many funny choices.

    My favourite TV show at the moment is ‘For All Mankind’, now in its 4th season and the best Australian show this century returned with the season 2 of ‘The Newsreader’ on ABC TV. I highly recommend all of the above.

    Sometimes I reckon I hit the genetic lottery (I mean, just look at that lush head of hair with nary a grey in sight) but I think this might have been the first year where I’ve started to see the cracks of middle age appearing. Particularly while editing VHS Revue, I saw a noticeable difference between the batch of episodes I shot in November 2021 compared to January 2023. It might have something to do with me becoming a parent in between and losing all notion of a good night’s sleep. Or maybe it’s because I shot 16 episodes in a single weekend, I don’t know.

    But I’m 36 now. I can injure my back just by reaching for the shampoo in the shower. It’ll be my 20th high school reunion next year! And I’m getting closer to that point where there’s actually more years behind me than ahead. That’s if I’m lucky. Which of course I am.

    There have been some horrible, disturbing and disappointing things happen in the world this year. War in Gaza, the failed referendum, global warming, AI, the soaring cost of everything, Elon Musk ruining Twitter. Right wing authoritarianism. It feels like we are teetering on some sort of precipice.

    It’s a wonderful gift this life.

    Wishing you all the good things.

    DMG

  • Dissecting a Frog Podcast

    I was recently a guest on the excellent ‘Dissecting a Frog’ podcast, where host Luke Morris from Comedy Victoria and I discussed the finer points of writing comedy for radio, TV & online.

    Highlights include some things I’ve never told anyone, like how I derive inspiration from the ABC toilets, some behind the scenes tidbits from Mad as Hell, my brief time at Triple M in 2009, fun with autocues and the latest season of VHS Revue.

    They’re all good episodes and if you’re interested in writing and/or performing comedy and the mechanics of it, I highly recommend listening to the whole series.

    -DMG

  • Bye Bye 2022

    It’s been a large year. New house, new car, new phone, new baby. Pretty much compressed all of being an adult into a few months.

    Also wrote on the final 2 seasons of Mad as Hell before catching Covid at the wrap party. Here are some of my favourite things I got on the air this year:

    Like I said after the finale in September:

    Sitting in the Hoddle Street Hungry Jack’s at 1AM this morning after the #madashell wrap party, I realised this was also where I went after getting the email from Shaun in November 2013 offering me a job on the writing team. I couldn’t believe it. I literally dropped everything and drove to the closest Jacca’s to give myself a burger treat.

    I started writing on series 3 in 2014 and kept getting just enough gags on the show to justify being invited back and somehow managed to do that for 13 more seasons. It’s been the greatest job. Getting to hang out with some of my best friends and just think of funny stuff feels like a scam.

    When our comedy idol Shaun Micallef gives one of our scripts the nod of approval and it’s brought to life by the absolute best cast and crew in the business, and it gets a laugh, it is an unbeatable feeling. So many things have to go just right.

    We’re all feeling many things about Mad as Hell ending. Personally I can’t be sad because the show gave me so much laughter. I can’t think about it for long without remembering something hilarious and smiling.

    Thank you to everyone on the team. It’s been like flying first class. I hope I can work with you all again someday. And thank you to the audience. It’s certainly a rare thing in Australia for a local television show to be so beloved. But we never took it for granted.

    Got a pretty nice souvenir from the show:

    Also very much enjoyed Shaun’s autobiography ‘Tripping Over Myself: A Memoir of a Life in Comedy’. Especially stories from his time at Sacred Heart. One particular prank he pulled with the school’s PA system had me laughing out loud. Should make a nice telemovie or miniseries some day.

    Made some new VHS Revues this year and currently writing more. They bring me much joy. This one is probably my favourite of the latest batch thanks to John Hnatowych’s amazing VCR animation:

    In May, I moved back to Coburg after a ten year absence. The place hasn’t changed a bit. Literally.

    This local milk bar for example:

    A closer look in the window…

    Following advice from several real estate agents, Annika and I made sure to buy our first house right at the top of the market. But it has radiators and air conditioning and art deco features, plus a beautiful backyard with several fruit trees and plenty of places for Rockley to explore.

    Shortly after in June, we welcomed Gustav Luke Green into our lives. To quote my favourite Futurama episode, he was “named for his uncle, to carry on his spirit.”

    He is objectively the cutest baby.

    Already getting him started on Thomas the Tank Engine and very much looking forward to teaching him how to play Donkey Kong Country and Heroes of Might & Magic 2 when the time is right.

    Was a nice change to get the extended family in Adelaide coming to visit us in Melbourne several times this year, instead of us going to them.

    I did make three trips to Adelaide though before Gus was born. First for Dad’s 70th birthday back in February, where we enjoyed a wonderful dinner at The Lenzerheide (my favourite Adelaide restaurant) and a very nice 1982 Grange.

    In April, I attended the wedding of my good friends Tim and Daniel, which had been postponed twice due to various lockdowns and border restrictions over the last couple of years. I made a pretty good speech.

    And then just a few weeks later I was back again for my sister Hannah’s wedding to her partner Nick. I emceed that one. I love this photo of the two of them. The gum tree looks like a watercolour painting.

    Other things, wrote my first piece for The Guardian.

    Still panelling radio for SEN and in April it was 10 years since I started working for them (back when it was called Crocmedia). Once again put on a suit to panel the AFL Grand Final. It’s a tradition that’s starting to catch on among the panel operators, with young Matt Donald taking up the tie this year as well.

    After 11 years of sheer driving mediocrity, I said goodbye to my 2000 Toyota Corolla. Donated it to the good people at Kids Under Cover.

    There have been some truly awful events this year. Russia’s blatant disregard for human life and the international rule of law in their invasion of Ukraine created traumatic scenes many believed would never be seen again in Europe; incompatible with our modern age. But the swift global condemnation as well as the remarkable resilience from the Ukrainian people and President Volodymyr Zelenskyy has been one of the most inspiring things I’ve ever seen.

    A seemingly never-ending run of natural disasters around the world should ring alarm bells for us all that man-made climate change is quickly making parts of our planet uninhabitable. We need to stop burning fossil fuels and transition to renewable energy FAST. We clearly don’t have the infrastructure to adequately deal with these floods, fires, heatwaves and storms now and they’re only going to get worse.

    Some hope though and there was a collective sigh of relief in May when Australia finally voted out the Morrison Government, which had left the country in neutral with the engine running in the national garage for the last nine years. Thank Christ for that because I could not take another term of Coalition corruption, rorting and their complete lack of accountability and leadership in practically every facet of Australian culture. Good riddance.

    Whoops getting a bit political here. Quick, here’s a picture of Rockley in front of the Christmas tree:

    Travel, renovations and putting my precious things on progressively higher shelves are my major plans for 2023.

    I’m also open to more comedy writing work if ya know of any. Or if you wanna grab a coffee and talk about life and stuff, send me a message sometime.

    All the best to you and yours.

    -DMG