David M. Green: Purveyor of fine humour

Category: smoking

  • The Magic Factory Podcast! 3SYN 90.7FM

    Yes finally!

    It’s been two weeks since Antonio Cafasso and I teamed up for a 7-hour straight graveyard broadcast on Melbourne’s SYN 90.7FM, and I’ve finally cut together the podcast.

    Now, I know you people are busy with your various “commitments” (work/family/various drug addictions/etc.) so I’ve created a “Best of The Magic Factory” podcast just for you, the listener on the go:

    The Magic Factory – BEST OF – Podcast  (66 mins)
    Featuring the best bits of David M. Green & Antonio Cafasso’s graveyard shift on 3SYN 90.7FM January 27-28 2011. Taylor’s Hill Tailors, Antonio’s weight loss job, David M. Green’s Songs to Have Sex to, live cross to Sam Mac in Perth, Shane Warne Soundboard Prank Calls, re-setting public transport, The Magic Factory Newsroom, fun with sound effects & Alan Jones clips, song intro challenge, Lorne Lawns & a live call from “Steve” at a Lilydale petrol station.

    But for the REAL fans, or if you just don’t have a life and you’d like to listen to the FULL podcast, you’re in luck!

    The complete The Magic Factory podcast can be downloaded below in three parts, for your convenience. Obviously the music has been removed, which reduces 7 hours to about 3 hours and 45 minutes.

    Perfect for any long drive (when, for some reason, you don’t want to listen to music). Alternatively, import them into your Grand Theft Auto PC game so you can listen to Antonio and me play wacky sound effects as you mow down hookers with an AK-47!

    The Magic Factory FULL Podcast PART #1 (72 mins)
    Taylor’s Hill Tailors, driving in Melbourne & dealing with VicRoads, Antonio’s weight loss job, David M. Green’s Songs to Have Sex to, live cross to Sam Mac in Perth, Shane Warne Soundboard Prank Calls,  re-setting public transport, Too Easy: The Webseries & DMG’s pen.

    The Magic Factory FULL Podcast PART #2 (72 mins)
    DMG’s adventures in commercial radio, The Magic Factory Newsroom, origins of the Alan Jones clips, horrible share-housing experiences, Peter Macinkovic calls in, DMG records some demo radio talkbreaks for Gold 104.3FM, song intro challenge, Antonio’s hilarious fart sounds, Lorne Lawns & Rove L.A.

    The Magic Factory FULL Podcast PART #3 (79 mins)
    Elaborately over-produced IDs, bed music samples, Adelaide v. Melbourne, more Alan Jones, DMG “picks up” at the cinema, texts from the listeners, David M. Green’s Songs to Have Sex to (reprise), DMG’s “31 Questions” TV game show pilot, a live call from “Steve” at a Lilydale petrol station, plans for the day, a chat with Nicholas Waxman from “Get Cereal” & a live call from “Jennifer”, some random listener.

    Overall a fantastic experience. Comedy on radio is a huge passion of mine and it was great to get back behind the panel. Although, I’m not jumping at the opportunity to do 7 hours straight again… This is us at 6AM…

    Although, a return to a regular hour slot is not out of the question. The question is where, who and when…

    Special thanks again to Antonio. You can hear from the clips we were genuinely having a great time. The laughter is real, I can assure you. That’s what makes great radio, in my opinion.

    Happy listening.

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    I’m radioactive!

  • RIP Grandma Terry

    Last night, my Grandma, Terry Lawlor-Smith, died in her McLaren Vale nursing home, in the presence of family members. She was 78.

    We were close, and during the time we had, we had some great times. From a very young age, right up until I was almost 18, I would regularly stay with her in McLaren Vale. We’d see movies and hire videos and play carpet bowls and Grand Canasta. For the first 10ish years, she drove me around, then for the last few, I drove her. She showed me how to make an excellent roast, which still has the rest of the family marvelling at my fantastic cooking ability. The funny thing is it’s not even that hard; peel vegetables, coat them with oil and cook them for an hour, there you go.

    As a child, I rarely drank soft drinks. It wasn’t until I started working at Kmart and I was earning my own money that I started buying my own and keeping it in my little fridge. So when I was little, going to Grandma’s and having unlimited access to all the caffeine-free diet coke I could drink was a real treat. I probably took it a little too far… But to you I say, don’t knock it until you get up in the morning, and pour yourself a bowl of porridge and a glass of coke. Hmm mmm.

    Grandma was a smoker. She quit in the mid 1990s but she smoked for practically her whole life. Understandably this had quite an affect on her ability to breathe, and any small cold quickly turned into a trip to the hospital. To the smokers out there today, to you I say, you are idiots. The evidence has existed for decades now, that smoking will eventually kill you. If it weren’t for cigarettes, my Grandma would still be alive today, or at the very least, her quality of life would have been much better in her final years. But really, that’s what it’s all about; “quality of life.” Who wants to live to be 100 if you don’t know where you are and can’t do anything yourself? It was Grandma’s decision not to return to hospital, and I respect that.

    I last saw her on Monday. I told her the latest news with me. She said it was good to see me and we each said “I love you.” Of course it’s sad. But hey, that’s life. I’m really going to miss her.

    Yours sincerely,
    David M. Green