David M. Green: Purveyor of fine humour

Category: Too Easy

  • DMG on American Internet Radio!

    In case you missed my “Kansas City to Melbourne” phone-linked conversation with my good friend Brad Westmar last week, you can LISTEN RIGHT HERE.

    We chatted about the weather for a bit, then I plugged Too Easy for a while and… pretty much talked about me, David M. Green!

    This was the first time I’d talked on air with Brad. Actually the first time I’d ever talked to him on the phone was last week when he called to test whether the Skype call actually worked.

    In January 2007 he came across the Myspace page for the Radio Adelaide show I was doing at the time, The Green Room. At the time he was hosting an Internet radio show called The Wild Wild Westmar Show. It turned out we both had similar styles. And a Internet/radio friendship began.

    We then started playing clips of each other on our shows, talking about each other’s show, and clips of the clips of us talking about the clips, and so on, which was cool. But neither of us had ever appeared “live” on the other’s show… until now!

    I notice there’s quite a satellite delay between Brad asking me a question and me responding, which I can only assume he’s decided to leave in there for authenticity…

    To listen to full podcasts of The Brad Westmar Show, go to the Jackalope Radio website. And feel free to follow him on Twitter or Facebook.

    Hopefully after I get a job and some money, this year I can make a visit to Kansas City and take Brad up on his generous guest room offer!

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    Oh yes, I also took the opportunity to launch my American singing career. My apologies.

  • December in Adelaide Part 2 (Too Easy)

    I’ve just returned to Melbourne once again from a week in sunny Adelaide. And after a mandatory Christmas lunch, it was on with filming more of everyone’s favourite buddy-Australian Internet sitcom (by default), Too Easy!

    We’re calling it “Season 2” as, due to unforeseen circumstances, we had to change the location of Adrian and Toby’s house. We figured this was a logical time for a change of season.

    Filming began at 10am on December 26 at the actual home of Tim Wray in the southern Adelaide suburb of Lower Mitcham.

    We wrote into the story line that their old house burnt down, which would explain why they are not only in a different house, but why their new house contains entirely different possessions. Pretty clever, huh? That’s what we in this business call “writing your way out”.

    The first episode of this next lot of Too Easy is entitled “More Cleaner”, and guest stars Radio & Television’s Sam Mac as the “Foreign Cleaner”.

    Sam had previously collaborated with myself and Alex Williamson a year ago, almost to the day, when we filmed the once off Musical Chairs Sketch.

    Once again, Sam was a pleasure to work with and we all had a blast acting out these scenes and ad-libbing some spontaneous hilariousness. Special thanks to him for spending 2 hours of his Boxing Day away from his family and actual friends to reinforce racial stereotypes on our show.

    Special thanks also to Tim Wray for letting us use his house. Tim reprises his role of Malcolm Powder, the landlord’s son, a role to which he’s certainly bringing a unique personal influence…

    And in place of financial reimbursement, please except my sincere apologies for taking unfair advantage of your generous offer of free Dr Pepper.

    As a gag, when Tim was out of the house (saving lives as a nurse), we drank a whole six pack of his Dr Pepper (which isn’t widely available in Australia), then carefully inserted the empty cans back into the plastic rings and put them back in the fridge!

    Sunday was actually quite a long day. I’ve just seen the rough cut of “More Cleaner” and at seven and a half minutes, it’s our longest episode to date. However, it is VERY funny. Great performances all around. And great camera work by Nicholas Godfrey.

    The only downside was smelling like spoilt milk for most of the day after a stunt in the name of comedy…

    The next two days were slightly more leisurely days of filming. We filmed episodes #10 and #11, “Phone Sex” and “Swapsies” (respectfully).

    We were a bit short handed with Nick departing for Melbourne himself, so Adam Navarro stepped up to the plate, by which I mean the camera, and Gerard Kotlowy came along for the ride.

    And holding that camera is no easy exercise. I filmed the odd scene here and there and my arm was shaking after just a few minutes! To quote my own advice from earlier this year: respect the camera guys!

    Joining us on camera for these episodes was Maddie Otto and Adelaide Comedy’s James McCann. Both very talented and again, pleasures to work with.

    I was personally thrilled to be wearing Toby’s “coffee date” costume, which can clearly be seen in the below photographs, or “stillies” as we’ve been calling them. I felt like dancing David Byrne-style to “Once in a Lifetime”…

    These episodes coming soon to YouTube… And I can’t wait!

    If you haven’t already, subscribe to the Too Easy YouTube Account.

    Too Easy is unique in the sense that to my knowledge, no one else in Australia is really making a sitcom webseries. There are a few dramas here and there, and plenty of stuff on community television, but nothing like Too Easy as far as I can see. Feel free to prove me wrong…

    And now to resume my search for a job.

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    Bow ties get the chicks, you know.

  • December in Adelaide Part 1 (with medicine!)

    On December 2nd, I jetted back to Adelaide for 10 days of R&R. And I tell ya, a week and a bit of driving a car with the ’80s new wave music blasting; long lunches at Subway, taking advantage of the plentiful booth seating and free soft drink refills (regardless of which size drink you order… I’m looking at YOU Melbourne subway restaurants…); walking around Seacliff, Glenelg, Blackwood and the CBD; and just hangin’ out with old friends is just what I needed!

    I swore I wouldn’t become one of these Adelaide ex-pats, who go on and on in a culturally cringe-worthy manor about all things SA; Stobey Poles, frog cakes, Farmer’s Union Iced Coffees and the like. But to be honest, seeing all these things again was quite comforting. Adelaide is my home town, and it seems only now that I’m no longer a resident, but rather a visitor, that I’m starting to appreciate it.

    Don’t get me wrong, I prefer to LIVE in Melbourne. But it is good to get away from the hustle and bustle once in a while and reconnect with my roots. Keep it real, if you will.

    I made sure to take advantage of my good friend Tim Wray’s generosity and access to hospital attire, and caught a refurbished 3000 Class train to the beautiful Adelaide Oval for Day 4 of The Ashes 2nd cricket test (England vs Australia).

    We were going for a “we’ve just left a patient on the operating table for a minute to attend the cricket” kinda look. It’s that sort of line between cricket tragic and malpractice minefield that makes a true sports fan.

    We may have looked a bit silly, but when the rain came, turned out the scrubs were waterproof, so that was a plus.

    Here’s a quick video I shot. You can hear the Barmy Army singing Joy Division:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gydXVld_KoE

    Also, at one point the camera guys took a break from filming the guy with the bow tie and the horse head (I think his name is Alcopop?) and put US on the big screen! I don’t believe we were broadcast on TV though.

    I particularly like this photo. With the light tower, it sort of looks like we’re performing surgery on someone, from the patient’s perspective… and maybe we were?

    Speaking of healthcare, I also took the opportunity while I was in town to donate some more of my blood. I went with my sister Hannah to the Pirie Street Red Cross, purveyors of fine bloods. It was her first time. It was my 2nd. Both extractions went off without a stich… hitch… And good news for me: No HIV!

    I also caught up with Radio’s Alex Williamson and Nick Godfrey to discuss filming some more Too Easy episodes. I’m going back to Adelaide for a week over Christmas. We’re planning on filming 3, possibly 4 new episodes. And there’s a couple of big names who might just be making a surprise guest appearance… Billy Joel as Toby’s long lost jazz piano-playing half-brother? Florence Henderson as Adrian’s Brady Bunch-esque Step-Mother? Josh Thomas for no reason? Or… BOMBSHELL! Toby has a daughter?!?

    Stay tuned…

    I’m back in Melbourne now for my RMIT graduation ceremony. Then it’s back to Adelaide for Christmas. Talk to you all again soon.

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    And that’s where babies come from… The Internet.

  • Adelaide Fortnight!

    Ahoy!

    My blog entries have been a bit “Too Easy-oriented” lately. Forgive me. I’ve been in Adelaide the last 2 weeks and was so busy catching up with people (and filming more “Too Easy”) I didn’t have time to properly archive my trip in blog form. It is a time consuming exercise…

    Anyway, hello! This was the first real time I’d returned to my home town since I moved to Melbourne back in February. I hadn’t been back in 4 months. People told me I’d be shocked when things didn’t quite appear exactly as I remembered them. That’s exactly what happened. Walking along North Tce, it suddenly seemed strange that there were many buildings to my right, but an empty skyline to my left. And you really do notice just how wide the city streets are. It’s crazy there aren’t more trams through the Adelaide CBD. I did take the opportunity to ride the new tram extension to the Entertainment Centre. Very nice. Now if only they could do an extension like that every year…

    I made sure to stock up on Fruchocs and was strangely compelled to drink a Farmer’s Union Iced Coffee while I was in town, even though I never actually drank them even when I lived there. They’re actually pretty good. I wanted to get a photo of myself leaning up against a Stobey Pole, drinking one, but I didn’t have the time. I was too busy catching up with all my Adelaide friends. It was great to see the ole gang again, plus my family too. I also played golf for the first time in about 6 months, the fun that came from which can clearly be seen in the below photographs:

    We also took the opportunity while I was in town to film some more of our “Too Easy” webseries. We filmed 2 more episodes. I’ve had a look at the rough cuts and they’re very funny. Can’t wait to get them online. I think the fans will like these. Just imagine more ridiculously inappropriate behaviour from Adrian and more misfortune for Toby. I think we’ve found our formula for hilarity!

    Here are some production stills for the upcoming episodes 7 and 8:

    To see more photos, become my friend on Facebook. Or alternatively, if you don’t like me enough to justify becoming my friend, just look through my photos anonymously (they’re set to public).

    We recently became YouTube partners, which means YouTube is now putting advertisements on our Too Easy videos! So if you’d like to show your support for our webseries, why not give us financial incentive by watching the videos and clicking on an ad every now and then? You don’t have to buy anything, just click the ad and then close the window. It’s a victimless crime. The only victim is our economic system.

    But as good as my trip down Adelaide memory lane was, it’s good to get back to Melbourne to continue, you know, my life. Since my return on Thursday I’ve already had an audition for a TV sitcom (can’t say much more at the moment) and I’ve got a meeting with the makers of “In Joke” on SYN 90.7FM this week to discuss my impeding “coming onto” the show. You know what this means… More radio sketches! HAZAA!

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    MelbAdelurnean

  • The Glamorous World of Television

    Hello!

    It’s been quite a turbulent month. I’ll start this blog entry with some words of wisdom from my first hand personal experience, for anyone with an interest in joining the hideous bitch goddess that is, “show biz”:

    1. Don’t ever write a review.

    Just don’t do it. Unless you want to write reviews for a living. Or, if you feel you must write a review, don’t write a bad review. Even more specifically, don’t ever write a review of someone you may have to work with in the future. Even if it’s not a bad review, I’d say best to avoid it all together and keep your opinions to yourself. And be wary of fragile egos. But of course, if you want to be the next David Stratton, then go nuts! You might want to grow a beard too.

    2. Don’t under-estimate the power of the telephone.

    90% of people won’t pick up the phone and call someone if there’s a problem. They’ll prefer a passive-aggressive email, or even worse, a text message. Leave those forms of communication where they belong, in the bedroom. If you want to get things done, pick up the phone. It’s instant. It’s intimidating. All the celebrities are doing it.

    3. Be nice to everyone, but don’t take any crap from anyone. (Thanks for that one Dad!)

    You’ve got to be nice to people. Even if they’re not nice back, make sure you can always say you treated them with respect first. But of course, there are always going to be incompetent people in this industry who will try to take advantage of you. Work out where your limits are. If they start pushing you a bit too far, ask yourself if you’re content to put up with that forever? If someone’s outta line, tell it to ’em straight. And don’t swear at anyone. Ever. It’s unprofessional. Stick to legitimate comments. For example, call them unprofessional! However, most likely you won’t be in the position of power, so be prepared to eat dirt for a while until the incompetence and unprofessionalism of others catches up to them.

    4. Get in with the crew.

    Television (and films) generally have large crews. Crew people are the best people. They get the job done and without them, it wouldn’t be TV. It’d be someone posting a video blog on YouTube. Help out with the crew. Put in the hard yards with them and you’ll get respect. From everyone. And for the love of God… Don’t f*** with their equipment!

    5. Not everyone likes critical feedback and constructive criticism.

    I love it myself. However, unless someone asks you two or three times for critical feedback, don’t give it to them. ESPECIALLY if you don’t know them! Remember, fragile egos in this biz.

    6. Don’t believe everything everyone says.

    A lot of people will make a lot of wild promises. Don’t count on all of them coming through. Unless the contact is in your hands and they’re asking for your signature, assume there’s only a slight chance of it actually happening.

    These are just a few things that may or may not have any relevance to recent events in my life… And now for an update on what I’m up to:

    Catalyst
    Read a condensed transcript of my interview with Tim Vine in edition 3 of RMIT’s Catalyst Magazine. Hard copies available from the various Melbourne campuses. There doesn’t seem to be an online copy, but you may as well just listen to the audio version right here. No plans to write anything else soon (especially any reviews!).

    RMITV
    I’m very excited to be helping out on “Late Night Tonight” this week. It’s a parody of a late night talk show. I’ll be operating camera two, presumably pointing it at host Michael Lanzer (Channel 31’s “The Inquiry”).

    I was previously going to be involved with “Studio A”. However that doesn’t appear to be happening any more. Particularly disappointing considering that show alone was one of the big selling points of moving to Melbourne. On the other hand, it didn’t look like I would have had much creative input as “script editor”. But anyway, I wish them all the best. They’re okay.

    Recent events and pep-talks from certain individuals have encouraged me to use my time in Melbourne and access to RMIT’s fabulous student television facilities wisely. After all, as much as I’d love to stay in Melbourne, it will all come down to where the jobs are at the end of the year. So my good friend Lachlan Cowlishaw and myself are going to make our own comedy show pilot. A 22-minute show incorporating single camera sketches and multi-camera studio pieces. Hey! Why not? That’ll be a goal for the year. Get that done. If nothing else, hopefully we’ll be able to say we made something funny and put it on the Internet. I can also confirm right now that at the request of Mr Nick Godfrey, the show WILL have a puppet.

    Stand-up
    I’m doing stand-up at The Comic’s Lounge on fabulous Errol Street, North Melbourne this evening. 8:30pm. Feel free to come along. It’ll be the first time I’ve done it in Melbourne. I can get five people in for free so let me know if you want in.

    Too Easy
    Yes, the webseries I filmed with Alex “Shooter” Willamson back in January is just about edited and the first two episodes will hopefully be online within the next few days, closely followed by the four other episodes of Season 1.

    Radio
    I’ve completed the compulsory training that one requires if one is to be a broadcaster at SYN, RMIT’s student radio station. I tried to get out of it, but ironically it was easier to get on-air via this 4-week training course, as opposed to simply providing a link to this website with my 100+ hours of radio experience. The facilities are lacking a decent soundboard/cart-rack programme to play sound effects, so I’m on the lookout for a version for my laptop. If anyone has any software options they can suggest I’d love to hear them. Hopefully get back on-air sometime soon, even if it’s just a graveyard 2am-6am one just for fun. Any excuse to subject others to obscure ’80s New Wave music!

    Voice-Over
    I recently did a voice-over for Riverside Plaza, Queanbeyan. So if you live in the A.C.T. and would like to hear my best David Attenborough impression, tune in on Mix106.3. Special thanks to Radio’s Michael Princi for that one.

    And that video game I did some voices for back in December has finally been released. Download “Sunset Studio – Behind the Scenes!” from this link right here. I’m not sure where exactly my voice appears in the game but I do know it’s the “science-fiction movie scene”. I’m eager to see/hear it myself! If anyone makes it that far into the game PLEASE let me know!

    Miscellaneous
    In other news I’m coming back to Adelaide for 2 weeks! I’ll be there from June 24 to July 8. It’ll be great to see the ol’ gang again. I’ll probably have a gathering in the city to catch up with everyone en mass in one big burst of socialisation. But if you want to book in a lunch or something, just give me a dial.

    Anyway, must tend to my life. Excuse me.

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    Can’t wait for DEVO’s first new album since 1990! “Something for Everybody” comes out next week!