David M. Green: Purveyor of fine humour

  • “On The Yacht” Community Radio-A-Go-Go!

    Yes a shout-out to you! (as much as I hate doing them… so amateurish…)

    It’s official! My latest comedy radio venture has been approved by the suits and pant-suits at Radio Adelaide 101.5FM to be broadcast this summer at the majestic timeslot of Thursday nights, midnight to 1am. The show is titled “On The Yacht” and it’ll be a little different to my previous comedy shows. On The Yacht aims to parody the popular laid-back style of AM talk radio and will be the first show where I appear in character the entire time. I’ll be playing Norman Vine, alongside Nick Godfrey as Dr Kevin Goodall, Adam Navarro “anchoring” the nautical-themed programme as his AM alter-ego, “Adam,” and making up the numbers, Voice-Over’s Tim Wray in the news room.

    Staple features of On The Yacht will include, pretty much what you can hear during the day on AM radio: expert guests, uninformed callers, quizes, news updates, pointless pedantic conversations about the details of life (all satirical of course). But hey, don’t get upset if you’re a genuine fan of AM radio. So are we. Why else would we be doing this? On The Yacht isn’t a mean-spirited “dig,” but more like a light-hearted, humorous homage to the format. Plus it’s a chance to play some smooth nu-jazz and soft yacht-rock… ohhh yeeeaaaahhhh…

    Keep your eye out for more details right here at davidmgreen.com… On The Yacht sets sail on its maiden voyage December 5th 2008 12.01am ACST (+10.5GMT) on Radio Adelaide 101.5FM. Feel free to tune in (if you’re up).

    Kind regards,
    Radio’s David M. Green
    On The Yacht: AM style. FM sound. AM time.

  • Never Gonna Give YouTube Up

    [youtube]http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=pRVOZQVCBCs[/youtube]

    Hey to you, you YouTubers you,

    David M. Green here. And slightly above here is my latest audio-visual sketch; a song parodying blue-eyed soulster Rick Astley’s 1987 hit, “Never Gonna Give You Up.” My version however, is all about the video sharing website, YouTube, and its title is a no-brainer. I must admit though, I don’t do too many song parodies, the primary reason being that I am a terrible singer. I prefer my straight sketch comedy and leave the music to the professionals… maybe ‘sprechgesang’ at most… Ah Fred Schneider, how I wish I could speak words like you…

    But anyway, it was all I could do to stay in time with this song, which I didn’t, and tone? Oh man, I’m all over the place… I can’t tell you where I am but I know it’s not where I should be. But then I thought hey hang on… no it’s ok… it’s satirical! Yeah… that’s it… It’s a satire on all those people on YouTube without talent, but who still upload videos of themselves singing in the shower. Or at least, I’m certainly hoping it’s satirical… and it’s just a coincidence I also can’t sing myself. Although I recall from memory I didn’t do a bad job on my last song parody back in 2006: “The Dave Chappelle Corby Rap.” But of course, I suppose I didn’t put that one online for a reason…

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    Never gonna give YouTube up, even if they did remove my “KKKmart” video… Bastards…

  • What’s the Big Idea?

    Hello to you, you savvy Internet-user type person,

    It was a rich experience, that is for certain! For the last 3 days I’ve been walking around the Adelaide showgrounds for the 2008 Conmex Infrastructure Expo. Although unlike most people there, I was dressed as a giant light-bulb! Woah… woah, I anticipate your inquisition, so calm down… Allow me to explain WHY I, a respectable up-standing member of society, was doing such a thing…

    Recently I signed up with a promotions company called Flair Personnel. “Why not?” I thought, it’s something to do. Then I got a call that pretty much went “Hey, wanna be a light-bulb?” I paused for a moment… before replying “Oh man, I have GOT to do this!” Ever since I was hassled by the characters at Disney World when I was 11, I’ve always wanted to give such a thing a try. The feeling of being hidden behind a mask, and being free to clown around with total anonymity… What a great opportunity for some physical comedy, which I rarely chance to do!

    So I went to Adelaide’s fabulous Wayville showgrounds, behind the recently demolished Centennial Hall, for the Infrastructure Expo. I was there to promote CMA Recycling: Australia’s 3rd largest recycling company, specialising in metal recycling, including those metals found in old light globes (thus the costume). Also at the CMA stand was Karl Verkus, CMA’s Strategic Marketing Manager. Great guy. One of the best bosses I’ve ever had. We spent a lot of time chatting about Adelaide and the differences between Adelaide and Sydney, his current home city, as well as his home country of Germany. Here’s a photo of us (I’m the one on the left… obviously):

    Inside the light-bulb, I was a crowd pleaser, giving high-fives and posing for photos, as well as sneaking up on people (hehehe). The costume wasn’t very maneuverable though. I couldn’t do much with my arms, other than wave and give a ‘thumbs-up,’ and I couldn’t move too fast for fear of knocking stuff over with my giant balloon head. It was actually a balloon. I wore a harness with a battery and air-circulating machine that kept the costume inflated, as well as giving me air to breath. I need that to live, you see…

    But outside the light-bulb too, I also met and talked to lots of interesting people. I’m somewhat of an infrastructure enthusiast myself anyway. I spent about 10 minutes in front of the SA Government exhibit reading all about the new Northern Expressway and the rail electrification plan (dressed as the light-bulb! haha!). And I consider myself an environmentalist at heart, so it was convenient for me to be promoting a company that does a lot of good for the environment; recycling and remediation. It’s actually quite fascinating. Take a look at the CMA website to see for yourself.

    But all in all, a fantastic and fun, albeit tiring, experience! Plus the highest paid hourly rate I’ve ever received! Another example of the David M. Green you all know and love, living up to his name.

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    Enlightened Individual

  • Tastes in Jackets Shared with Crispin Glover

    Hey slackers! (it’s a “Back to the Future” reference – No offence intended)

    Wow! I can cross another thing of my rapidly fulfilled “list of things to do before I die” because last night I met Crispin Glover! Crispin Glover is of course best known for his brilliant performance as George McFly in the 1985 motion picture “Back to the Future.” However, he was in Australia on a lecture tour of sorts. He first read from some of his books, and then we watched his experimental film “It is Fine! EVERYTHING IS FINE!” before a lengthy and fascinating Q&A session. Amongst other things Crispin recounted the details of his memorable 1987 Late Night with David Letterman appearance. As my good friend Nick Godfrey said, it was worth the $40 ticket just to hear him talk about that!

    As for this “list of things to do before I die” I keep referring to, allow me to explain my thinking here because sure, “meeting Crispin Glover” is a little obscure. It’s more like a blank list that’s gradually being added to, as opposed to a list where things are being crossed off as I complete them. I was sitting at home on my computer, and I discovered Crispin Glover was coming to Adelaide, and I thought “See Crispin Glover in real life? …Hmm, yeah, that’s something I’d like to do with my life and limited monetary resources.” And it was great being able to talk to him afterwards and tell him in person how much I enjoyed his performance in “Back to the Future” because it’s one of my favourite movies and I spent many many schoolyard lunch hours quoting that trilogy with my friends (namely John Timoney). He replied with “Thank you. Yeah, I’m proud of that.” Another treasured memory. Well worth it.

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    One “Creepy Thin Man” to another

  • Lack of Seating Forces Sketch Comedian to Stand…-Up

    Good (insert appropriate time period here),

    Hello again, David M. Green… I mean, I’M David M. Green. I’m not calling YOU David M. Green and saying hello to you. That would be inefficient. Only a hand-full of other people in the world are called David M. Green… Also, it’s pretty silly. My apologies… BUT ANYWHO… Last Thursday I comically stood-up and did some stand-up comedy at Adelaide’s fabulous “The Rhino Room.” Funnier than the last time. Plus I wore a tie! Enjoy!

    http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=Kw9Pg8BET1A

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    Card-carrying member of ‘The Blood Club’