Hello,
The 51st Annual TV Week Logie Awards: Australian television’s “night of nights.” I didn’t watch it. I was working. But if I wasn’t working, I may have had it on in the background… maybe… as I heard Shaun Micallef was presenting an award, and I tend to go out of my way to watch, listen or read anything with his name on it… I really haven’t been following it (the Logie thing) at all, eg. the nominees, the voting. I didn’t even know who hosted it until today (Gretel Killeen?!? Jesus… but more on that in a moment). I barely watch any free-to-air TV, not to mention any Australian shows. Even if I wanted to mention some, I’d have trouble, seeing as though I don’t watch any. Nor do I attend water cooler conversations. I’m usually oblivious to what’s “hot” on commercial TV. If anything important happens I usually discover it on the Internet before it appears on TV anyway… BUT… why am I bothering to contribute to the already numerous blog entries and articles out there pointing out how terrible the Logies were? Especially seeing as though I didn’t even watch it? Why? I’ll tell you why… It’s because I myself want to know “why?” Why does TV keep doing this? What do the decision-makers expect when they get Gretel Killeen to host it?!?
I did watch Gretel’s intro on YouTube. Okay, so I didn’t quite “not watch” the whole thing. I lied slightly… But if that’s how the Logies started, I’m guessing that’s how the rest of it went: Weak material, phoney presenting and lame jokes from a host no one liked. And Gretel Killeen, as far as I can recall, hasn’t done anything on TV since the 2007 season of Big Brother. Why bring her back now? Just… why? Now… I’m not one for slandering people on the Internet, but JESUS H. CHRIST WHO COULD HAVE POSSIBLY THOUGHT THAT GRETEL KILLEEEN WOULD BE ANYTHING OTHER THAN APPALLING!?!?! Is the person who rubber-stamped that one TRYING to get fired? Who out there thought: “Hey, Gretel Killeen is hosting? Thank God, the Logies have been saved!”
I of course also watched the short clip of Shaun Micallef presenting the award for best miniseries or telemovie. Hilarious. Shaun is fantastic. He’s properly funny, and it’s still my opinion that the BEST Logies were back in 2001 when Shaun himself was the host. He says it’s a tough room. I’m sure he’s right. But I myself am a tough room, not in the literal sense of course. But I can completely relate to being in an audience watching someone who’s not funny. When I’m in that situation, I generally don’t laugh. I would never expect someone to laugh unless something that was said or done was actually funny. It’s a pretty simple equation. Funny host = entertainment. Gretel Killeen isn’t funny. But brace yourself, because here’s something really bizarre…
Now, I don’t usually link to videos on my blog that aren’t my own, but I’ll break with tradition here because I’ve noticed something very interesting I’d like to draw to everyone’s attention. Here’s Gretel’s intro clip I saw. Have a look at this… (If it’s been taken down, try searching for “Gretel’s 2009 Logies intro” on YouTube or something)
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qj-G1dMpJ7k[/youtube]
Okay. Did you notice Gretel was “shot” there and she fell over? Pretty funny right? Not particularly. And when you think about it… she kinda exploded… That’s really quite horrible. Not to mention confusing. I don’t even really know what she was going for… If anyone can explain it to me, please go ahead.
But now for the bizarre thing I promised. Something about Gretel falling over and pretending to be dead at the Logies reminded me of something… Something from a long time ago. 8 years ago to be precise. I have a scrap book at home with various newspaper clippings, and I found this one from The Adelaide Advertiser circa March 2001, printed the week before Shaun Micallef was to host the Logies:
If the font’s too small (and fair comment), click on the article and you’ll be taken to a larger version. High Definition Newspapers: The future is now. But anyway, the relevant part of the article I wish to draw your attention to is basically the first two paragraphs, which read:
“COMEDIAN Shaun Micallef wanted to try something different to start the annual Logie award presentation this year. ‘I wanted to walk out on stage and begin my introduction spiel and then, about a minute into my dialogue, collapse on to the ground,’ Micallef recalls.
‘I thought it would be great if the network could ‘temporarily’ stop broadcast, go to a test pattern or something and then come back to me with a bandage or whatever around my head and have me continue the show.’
Needless to say the producers disagreed.”
Now hang on… wait a minute here… Shaun Micallef thought about falling over during his intro and the producers said NO? He goes on to say that if he really demanded to do it, the producers probably would have caved in and let him. So he COULD have done it, but he chose not to (His intro did contain several other physical gags, but none that involved falling over). Then 8 years later… Gretel Killeen’s hosting, and she decides it would be a good idea to collapse on stage. I wonder what the producers thought of this? Did they try to discourage her? Maybe they suggested it? Would it REALLY have been inappropriate for Shaun Micallef to do that joke back in 2001? Comedy was simpler back then, after all… It probably would have been funnier back then too, I imagine. But if you compare Shaun’s 2001 Logies intro to Gretel’s 2009 appall-a-tron, there’s simply no contest. Gretel didn’t say anything remotely funny, interesting or memorably. The only thing she did do was die on stage, and then pretend to die on stage (zing!). But isn’t that bizarre? I don’t quite know what to make of this… I mean, it’s hardly an original idea. Orson Wells did it in 1938. But still one wonders…
Of course, there have been 7 other Logie ceremonies in between 2001 and 2009. In 2002 it was hosted by Wendy Harmer. I boycotted that one, and from most accounts she was comparable to Gretel. In 2003 and 2004 it was Eddie McGuire. Satisfactory, but it was like a sandwich with no filling. Sure, it had the two pieces of bread, but lacking in tasty content. From 2004 to 2007 the squabbling networks couldn’t agree on any single host so they each threw in a representative and “shared” the role. Then last year there was NO HOST. What a joke. For God’s sake, just PICK SOMEONE GOOD! Get Bert Newton while he’s still alive! He’s still got it, after all. Or develop some new talent. Hey, I reckon I could do a pretty good job… Some day maybe…
On a final note, I also watched the “2009 Logies – In Memoriam” clip. I’ve never stopped thinking about the death of Richard Marsland. I found this footage very bizarre as well, as it was only in July last year that I was having lunch with him, having no less than an in-depth discussion about how bad the 2008 Logies were… No kidding (about the conversation. But also, the Logies were awful) I think I even remember talking about how there’s always a couple of deceased people who receive a bigger applause during the memorial. Can you believe that? You know, it is actually pretty disrepectful to all the other lesser-known TV people who’ve died, but I guess we can’t help showing our appreciation to certain individuals we really like.
And good on Bill Collins for being accepted into the Logies Hall of Fame. I like him too and he certainly deserves it.
So in conclusion… In my opinion, the Logies were mostly crap, but when you look at Australian television, indeed, it’s mostly crap. So what do you expect? Some may say my review has been somewhat biased, but hey, like I said… I didn’t even really watch it!
Kind regards,
David M. Green
If you enjoyed the Logies, please write to me and tell me why. I’m interested.
