Tag: Internet

  • VHS Revue 24 – Ten Late News (2006)

    Highlights from a 2006 VHS tape of Ten Late News, Australia. Presented by David M. Green.

    Featuring:
    – Opener to Ten Late News, Saturday 8 January 2006 with Tracy Spicer
    – DMG cameo in “Playing for Keeps” (2018)
    – “Summer on Ten” ident
    – Deep Spring mineral water TVC featuring nude scooter
    – Dodo dial-up internet TVC featuring nude cricket
    – Lynx Shows TVC
    – Ezy-Rest Armchairs TVC
    – Tone Booth SMS music service TVC featuring “From Paris to Berlin”
    – Gold Coast Girls SMS subscription service TVC

    Footage recorded from Channel Ten Adelaide, 8 January 2006 and used here for review, parody and satirical purposes.

    Special thanks to Alexis Kotlowy & John Hnatowych.

    VHS Revue Links:

    -DMG

  • Community TV Good. Abbott Government Bad.

    A few days ago I wrote an opinion piece about the Abbott government’s decision via Communications Minister Malcolm Turnbull (artist’s impression above) to cease transmitting community television on television. It appeared in the print edition of The Sunday Age (incidentally, my first time in The Age). If you missed it, you can read it online here.

    It went a bit viral yesterday and as of this moment, there’s a “112” next to the Twitter logo and a “241” next to the Facebook logo on The Age website. Thank you very much to the people who shared it and thanks for showing your love and support for community TV in Australia.

    It must have struck a chord, because Malcolm Turnbull replied with his own opinion piece in The Age today. In it, he essentially repeats the arguments he made on his website when he made the initial announcement.

    So, I thought I’d reply to a few of his recent points Fatboy Slim-style. Right here, right now:

    “Commercial and national television broadcasters are already responding to the demands of audiences for more content online, and I envisage this trend will continue, particularly where the content is specialised and local. Nielsen’s Australian Connected Consumers 2014 report found that of the 80 per cent of Australians with the internet, 50 per cent of them watched television programs online. This represents a significant Australian audience watching TV from an internet source with the most growth coming from under 35s and over 60s.”

    So, 60 per cent of Australians do not watch television programs online. More than half the audience still prefers to watch TV on a TV.

    I agree with Malcolm this trend will continue, but that percentage just supports my call for a more gradual transition for community TV to move online. People will need to change their living room set up, purchase Internet TVs and in many cases, wait until faster, more reliable internet is available in their area. The end of 2015 is an inadequate deadline.

    Leaving to one side the fact that Malcolm Turnbull isn’t requiring the other commercial stations to transition to the internet in this same time frame (or at all).

    “Currently there are five community television services in Sydney, Adelaide, Brisbane, Melbourne and Perth. Apart from Geelong, because of its proximity to Melbourne, Australians outside  these metropolitan capital cities have never been able to access CTV.”

    At last year’s C31 Melbourne & Geelong Christmas party, general manager Richard McLelland told the crowd his vision to expand their free-to-air TV signal to the regional centres of Bendigo and Ballarat.

    The desire is there. The audience is there.

    The power to make it happen is yours, Minister.

    “OzTam official ratings data shows that CTV has very small audiences.  Over the last five years with an average annual daily audience in prime time (6pm to midnight) for all stations of about  6000 viewers. To put this in perspective the total viewing market is about 15 million viewers.”

    As has been said by others before me, using “average” ratings to compare the niche broadcasting of community TV to the other stations is not a fair measure and misses the point entirely.

    The nature of the diversity of programming on community TV means ratings for individual programs are going to vary wildly. C31 Melbourne & Geelong says community TV reaches 3 million viewers each month.

    Regardless, achieving high ratings is not the primary aim of community TV. It exists to give people experience in broadcasting, to air programming the other big TV stations wouldn’t touch with a ten foot TV pole and content which appeals to smaller, less commercially-viable sections of the community.

    Community TV is supposed to have smaller audiences. That’s the point.

    Does anyone know how many people actually watch those God awful shopping channels?

    “In the short term (from 2016) sixth-channel spectrum will be used to assist free-to-air broadcasters in the migration to MPEG-4, a video compression technology that is almost twice as efficient as the MPEG-2 standard they currently use. This migration will allow for more channels and better picture quality with the same amount of spectrum.”

    So, if it’s possible to have more channels on the TV spectrum… can you not just give community TV one of those channels?

    And secondly, why should we be bothering with this spectrum upgrade at all, if you say the future of television is on the internet?

    I don’t see how it’s possible to have it both ways there. Unless of course this is all bullshit and based purely on some right wing ideology.

    Community TV is somewhat of a passion of mine. If you think it’s important to keep it, I’d encourage you to sign up at Commit to Community TV, and continue sharing the passionate articles written by proponents. Including this blog entry.

    If for no other reason than just so I can see how Malcolm Turnbull responds 🙂

    Kind regards,
    TV’s David M. Green

    PS. Many thanks to Tony Sowersby for that fantastic cartoon. He draws others, you know. Check them out on Facebook!

  • The Thrifty Browser

    Ahoy! I haven’t written a poem in about 10 years, but I was recently inspired by certain real life events to pen this one. Did somebody say, “Oh that DMG, he just hit the Australian media industry zeitgeist right in the sweet spot?”

    No?

    Well, here it is anyway…

    “The Thrifty Browser”
    By David M. Green

    I click on links in interestin’ tweets
    from The Australian & Herald Sun.
    But the journey ends when I reach the paywall.
    Money exchanged equals none.

    The Internet should be free for all.
    Online ads are bad enough.
    When I’m bombarded with pesky pop-ups,
    I vow never to buy any of that stuff.

    Have you heard the new single from blah blah blah?
    I don’t care if pop music stays alive.
    There’s songs from the ‘80s I haven’t discovered yet.
    The last CD I bought was in 2005.

    And why wait a week between episodes
    When you can just download them all in one go?
    I’m more familiar with the New York guide now.
    Just get it from HBO.

    There’s no gift you can buy me
    That I can’t just get for free.
    Although it can get a little tedious
    Browsing torrents, isoHunt and GumTree.

    I like the idea of escaping the PR
    That drives the media these days.
    The web is my sanctuary, my fortress of solitude,
    Filled with excessive cat video replays.

    Working in media would be my dream come true.
    Legitimate careers are uninspiring.
    But it’s pretty difficult to get a job at the moment.
    How come nobody’s hiring?

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    Enough said.

  • *Ding* Time to turn the page…

    Welcome to the next chapter in the DMG saga.

    It’s been some time since my last blog entry. My apologies if I’ve neglected the few souls who come here semi-regularly, hoping to discover some new David M. Green bloggy goodness.

    I suppose I can immediately blame Optus. I moved into this new apartment in Hawthorn on March 10. I was supposed to have Internet installed on March 23. It’s now April 6 and I’m still waiting for my wi-fi modem.

    Thank God for the “hotspot” function on my iPhone and the idiot in the neighbourhood with the unsecured wireless network, or I’d be living like it’s 1996.

    Hopefully I’ll properly merge onto the on-ramp to the Information Superhighway soon enough, and join the rest of you.

    I’m settling into my new place nicely. The kitchen is just about set up. I had to buy a fridge, a microwave, cutlery, crockery, cookware, the works.

    I even needed to buy a bench from IKEA, as there’s not enough built-in bench space…

    One Paul Simon’s “Graceland” and half of Gary Numan’s “Beserker” later…

    Tada! Gotta hand it to those Swedes. They know kitchen solutions.

    The lounge room/main room still needs some work. A couch is on its way from my lovely parents’ house in Adelaide. Then when I can muster the cash, I’ll get a coffee table and a bigger TV.

    Speaking of cash, I recently signed up with DJ Masters as a casual DJ. Thus far I’ve DJ-ed two weddings. One in Metung, near Lakes Entrance in eastern Victoria. The other in Shepparton, a couple of hours north of Melbourne.

    If you stalk me on Twitter you can follow my progress wearing suits and spinning tracks all over the state.

    Want David M. Green to DJ your next rhythmic social gathering for some reason? Go to the DJ Masters website. Ask for me by name. Or a vague description.

    I’ve also got a very promising new radio-related job in the pipeline. But more on that one soon.

    And then there’s 31 Questions. My big project for 2012.

    In a way, it’s been a blessing I lost the MTR job, because I have no idea how the hell I’d be able to produce, write and host this TV show if I was also working 40 hours a week.

    I’ve got most of the 13-episode season now written and it’s coming together nicely. We’ve already shot some pre-tape stuff, including this:

    And last night we had our first studio day. A very brief rehearsal and a chance to shoot some of the opening sketches.

    Not surprisingly, we were plagued by problems. The hallmark of community television.

    The most annoying hindrance was the absence of a large piece of our set, which we had constructed for our 2nd pilot in June 2011. It had simply disappeared from the store room!

    In hindsight, we probably should have checked last week everything was in order. But Jesus! It’s a huge object. No idea where it’s got to. It’s either been misplaced god knows where, stolen, or broken up and used for firewood.

    We were extremely fortunate to make a similar-looking replacement out of pieces of other sets. You can hardly tell the difference, right?

    In the 2nd pilot, we had 2 plasma TVs on set. But we arrived yesterday to discover one of them was broken.

    Fortunately I had a large poster of myself; an item I can stare at just as long, if not longer, than a flat screen television. An adequate replacement, no?

    There were some other technical issues as well. Something was wrong with the lighting desk, which meant we only had time to record three of the seven sketches I had planned.

    Hats off to our fantastic crew. Despite the setbacks, we all kept on and no one lost their cool.

    We’ve still got the next six Thursdays in the studio so hopefully we’ll squeeze the rest in.

    And I’m very happy with the new cast.

    There’s myself of course (but you know that).

    Taking over from Alasdair “Al” Tremblay-Birchall  is the fabulous Anthony McCormack (from The Good Show and many other things). We all loved Al but he has conflicting Melbourne Comedy Festival commitments.

    And it gives me great pleasure to introduce Sophie Loughran as our new 31 Questions scorekeeper.You’re gonna love her!

    From our rehearsals, we gel together like some sort of razzle dazzle entertainment ooze. And I’m really looking forward to working with the two of them more over the next 6 weeks. I think we got something here.

    Also, I got to wear a dress:

    Disturbingly, I stayed in that dress just a bit too long after shooting the relevant sketch. I enjoyed it considerably more than I was expecting…

    I don’t actually mind wearing lip stick and make-up, but here’s a fun fact for you: I absolutely hate face paint. Ever since I was 4. That one occasion at kindergarten in 1991 was the one and only time I ever had my face painted. From memory, it was some form of rainbow. Just didn’t care for it.

    But back to the present. Remember, we’ll need contestants on the show too. Plus there’s plenty (every) of seats available in our studio audiences. So sign up to RMITV and keep an eye on the 31 Questions Facebook and Twitter pages for updates.

    So big times ahead for the next six weeks. I’ve got a television series to make. And I have to scrape enough money together to pay for it, plus pay my considerably higher rent, and a cavalcade of bills and renewals… which always seem to come all at once, don’t they?

    Car registration, servicing, RACV membership, Internet, ambulance cover. All these bills and more! Christ!

    But then again, I could die tomorrow, and I’d still be in surplus.

    So life ain’t so bad, really.

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    With a new found appreciation for women’s fashion.

  • Fruitcup.org Has Arrived!

    Hello fellow supporters of the Internet!

    David M. Green here (clearly) proudly informing you that the Fruitcup website (www.fruitcup.org) is now officially 100% online! So to see for yourself the refreshingly hilarious Internet Sitcom all your invisible friends are talking about around the water cooler (and behind your backs), simply click on the link or manually re-type the URL (if you’re a REAL fan) into the address bar thing!

    Fruitcup follows two incompetent executives working at Fruitcup Enterprises: a company in receivership. The first two 10-minute episodes are now online and available to view for free (like everything else on the Internet!). Stay tuned/clicked/I don’t know because more episodes are in production. But until then, keep cupping that fruit… not sexually… uh…

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    Soaring High. Like the Pegasus.