David M. Green: Purveyor of fine humour

Tag: Melbourne

  • Live Television Debut!

    Greetings!

    Very exciting week last week: it was my turn to be on Newsline! I was the sports correspondent on May 18 2010 under the weighted anchoring of TV’s Ben Hagemann and Alicia Muling. The programme broadcast live on Channel 31 Melbourne from 4pm to 4:30pm.

    Coming to Melbourne and studying television journalism at RMIT has really opened my eyes to the practicalities of television production. It’s an incredible organisational feat. So much preparation goes into it. There’s a crew of about 15 people behind the scenes and putting together a 30-minute news programme and broadcasting LIVE five days a week is amazing. It still surprises me that we actually get to do this (as students, not professionals remember… not yet anyway).

    Special thanks also to TV’s Jill Singer, executive producer for Newsline. I can’t imagine the effort she’s put into getting this show off the ground. She’s done a wonderful job.

    Without beating around the bush, or using excessive cliches, I absolutely loved this. Each show has two hosts and three correspondents (news, business and sport). In some ways it’s actually harder to be a correspondent, as you’re up in a small room on your own with a green screen behind you and a camera pointed at your head, and unlike the hosts, the correspondents don’t get no autocue. All that presenting experience for YouTube sure came in handy.

    Even though I had to glance at my notes occasionally to remember some names, I’m very happy with my performance. I took it seriously. And how many opportunities does anyone get to do LIVE TV these days? How many shows are even done live anymore? And the people on those shows are mostly weathered TV veterans. Newsline and the resources at RMIT University provide an invaluable experience for newcomers to the industry, such as myself, and I am very grateful for the opportunity.

    Here are some snapshots of that day’s creation of Newsline, a voyeristic peak into the magic of student television news:

    This shan’t be my only dabble in television, of that I can assure you.

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    Photos my Yinmin Maung with Ben Hagemann’s camera.

  • David M. Green presents: April in Melbourne. With pictures.

    Ahoy!

    Life is good. But it’s been so jam-packed with stuff I haven’t had much of a chance to spend a solitary evening blogging about it. So for those who care, my apologies. For those who don’t, well maybe consider putting a little more effort into dedicating your lives to following mine. Na, you’re okay. You’ve done well.

    I’ve really noticed a massive change in my social life since moving to Melbourne. I’m just talking more. A product of being around more people: at uni, at the share-house and hanging out with people pretty much whenever I get a chance. It’s good. I must have spent a lot of time on my own last year. Uni really changes things. Especially this post-graduate environment. It’s completely different from undergraduate. Much more comradery. It’s a good thing. Of course at times I do also get sick of these people… Na, they’re okay. They’ve done well.

    Things to report on:

    RMITV
    I auditioned for RMITV Student Television’s “Studio A” live late night comedy/variety show. I was quite happy with the audition. I presented a 60 second monologue to camera and then conducted an “interview” with local Melbourne comedy personality Tommy Little. Unfortunately I didn’t get an on-camera role, or a writing role. But I’m happy to report you’re reading the blog of RMITV’s newest “Script Editor” for Studio A. This will allow me to take my Nazi-like stance on grammar to bizarre new places. But hey, this was the whole reason I moved to Melbourne so just glad to be on the team. I believe the show should go to air around June on Channel 31. More details coming soon…

    I was also a member of the crew for the Channel 31 production of “Tough Times”. It’s an interview show hosted by Michael Kuzilny and filmed at RMITV studios. For the first two shows I was a vision mixer (or “switcher”), and I must say, I LOVED it. Great fun. It’s not the direct TV equivalent of radio panel-operating. Technically that would be monitoring the audio recording for the TV show. But vision mixing gives you the same great feeling when you do a good cross from one camera to the other, just like a good crossfade between songs. Ah, it was great! I also helped out with camera and audio, but vision mixing was by far my favourite role. Of course, as much as I enjoyed that, I’d much rather be hosting the show itself. Maybe not that particular show, but the role of “host” is more attractive to me.

    Oh yes, that reminds me. I’ll be hosting the first live “Newsline” for 2010 on Monday May 17 on Channel 31 Melbourne with my glamorous co-host Lucy Ormonde. Looking forward to that!

    Catalyst
    RMIT Student Magazine “Catalyst” printed my interview with Shaun Micallef in “Edition 2” a couple of weeks ago. Copies are available from the various RMIT University Melbourne campuses. I presume it will also be put online (although as at May 6 2010 it’s still not there). So I guess keep checking out HERE until it’s uploaded. Unfortunately the fabulous editors forgot to print a link to this website so readers could read the complete Micallef interview (they also changed the title, as editors do, to “Talkin’ Bout Shaun Micallef”…sigh…). They assure me the link will be in the next edition to direct people to the complete Tim Vine audio interview. No hard feelings towards the editors, of course. They’ve done well.

    They also printed a short autobiographical article of mine titled “Throwing it all away”, where I discuss the tribulations of dating and drinking. I’ll post that article directly on this website at some point, as I kinda like it.

    Radio
    Still working on that one. Got a few leads but nothing of much interest. I’ll have something to report soon. God I miss it though…

    Stand-up
    I recently realised that, like back in Adelaide, no one is going to take me seriously as a comedian until I do regular stand-up (which I’m not too thrilled about, but hey, what can you do?). So I booked myself in at “The Comic’s Lounge” in fabulous North Melbourne for an open mic spot on Tuesday May 18 from 8:30PM. I’ve just got to get noticed in Melbourne. It’ll be interesting to see how the crowds are different. I’ve heard several stories from Melbourne performers here about how their shows were often not as well received in Adelaide. Of course, they didn’t mention whether or not Adelaide was the butt of the majority of their jokes… That may be a contributing factor. It does get rather tedious after a while. And I can tell ya, sure, Melbourne’s great and I like it more than Adelaide, but Melbourne ain’t perfect. Although their audiences may be easier? I’ll soon find out…

    Well, I can cross another one of those “’80s bands to see before I die” off the list. Two actually. Even though Tears for Fears were the support act, I was more excited about seeing them than Spandau Ballet. But I stuck around after they’d finished to see Spandau Ballet too. Hey, I paid for it, right? $100. And like Howard Jones, I couldn’t find anyone who could justify spending that much money to accompany me to this concert, so I attended Melbourne’s famed Rod Laver Arena alone.

    I did get talking to the other pathetic single man next to me though. A 44-year-old baker from Broadmeadows who, upon discovering I was studying journalism, preceded to reveal his entire sci-fi novel idea, pausing only to think out aloud, “I probably shouldn’t be telling my idea to another writer… but I will anyway.” Mental note: steal his idea. Na, he’s okay. He’s done well.

    Unlike Howard Jones, who played at the intimate Governor Hindmarsh Hotel, this was at Rod Laver Arena, one of the largest enclosed performance venues in the country. Naturally, opting for the cheaper ticket, my seat was appropriately placed:

    As for the actual performances, Tears for Fears were good. Unfortunately, as they were the support act, the sound levels weren’t optimal. They seem to do that, don’t they? Spandau Ballet had great levels, but I only knew four of their songs, so I was mostly just sitting through it, sharing the occasional “raised eyebrow hello” with the sci-fi baker to my right. He actually left about 10 minutes into Spandau Ballet. Obviously had some early baking to do. But hey, overall an enjoyable experience.

    I also went to my first AFL game since 1997. I tagged along with a bunch of the RMIT journo people to Melbourne vs. Brisbane at the MCG. I’d never been to the MCG before. Very impressive stadium. It was good theatre, I suppose. I enjoyed the insults being hurled from members of the crowd at Brenden Fevola. But I found myself sitting cross-legged, looking around at these footy fans as they cheered and carried on, and I thought to myself, “I can see why people like this, but I just can’t get excited over it.” I’ve just got too much else in my life to follow a sports team.

    Later that night I got to drive a car for the first time in about two months. A manual too. Ahh… still got it!

    There is of course so much more, but this blog entry is dragging on a bit, so I’ll leave you with two things. 1) The reassurance that I’m enjoying myself and I’m continuing on the dream-chasing venture that is my move to Melbourne. And 2) This photo, which in no way reflects my personal political views:

     

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    I was not responsible for that graffiti. Give me some freaking credit! I would have used two B’s.

  • A David M. Green Kinda Night

    Ahh… I love ruining peoples’ photos:

    So anyway, hello! Wow what a Friday night! Quite possibly the best night out ever. Started out at Prudence Bar on Victoria Street, North Melbourne for the birthday gathering of fellow RMIT journo-student Meg Clement (as seen above on the right, next to Bec Puddy. Also note the “evil genius” expression on the face/head of Lachlan Cowlishaw, far left. Hehe that guy cracks me up!). It was essentially a night out for the majority of the journalism class. A good several hours of wit-laced conversation, drinking over-priced cider, receiving compliments on my YouTube videos and listening to drunk pitches for low-budget television shows. Outstanding.

    But the night didn’t stop there. When Prudence closed at about 1am a group of us headed on over to Trades Hall on Lygon Street, as we’d heard there was music there, or something. Hey! Why not? It blew my mind when I walked in. I stepped in and to my right, wearing a black bow tie was comedian Andrew McClelland. I went up to him. He complimented me on my tie, or possibly it was a direct compliment to my tie, not sure. I said, “Hey! I know you! I served you at the Palace Nova cinema in Adelaide about a year ago. You said you’d like one ticket to Watchmen. I asked ‘just an adult ticket?’ You replied ‘Yes. One man please’.” He may or may not have actually remembered, but he did smile and nod.

    To my delight the music was a mix between ’80s New Wave, ’90s Britpop and ’80s-esque electro from whatever the ’00s decade is called. I quite honestly had the time of my life. I’d never enjoyed dancing that much, of course, if you could call it “dancing”. It was mostly me flailing my arms about like I was having a seizure. Jesus, my neck hurts now. Not even joking. At one point Meg and I were dancing in ‘a three’ with comedian Dave Callan (first series of Rove, and the voice of that “Tough Nuts” commercial). Here’s the event from my perspective:

    Pretty good dancer, by the way. Dave and Meg weren’t bad either. And God bless Meg for requesting “You Can Call Me Al.” Although she probably wouldn’t appreciate that as I believe she’s an atheist. That’s like saying “nice to meat you” to a vegetarian. But of course, it would be ridiculous to use ‘meat’ in that context.

    When that shut up about 3am, I was on the way out when I noticed TV’s Lawrence Leung standing at the bar. I’d been waiting more than 3 years for this moment… So I went up to him, introduced myself and in person, requested a copy of his short film “Howard Flu”, which won the Peoples’ Choice Award in some Comedy Channel contest back in 2007. During a short trip to Melbourne in January 2007, my good friend John Timoney and I were sitting on the steps of the Victorian Parliament House when we were approached by Lawrence Leung and a John Howard puppet. Several months later my equally good friend, Adam Navarro, was flicking through the channels and swore he saw John on TV. According to Lawrence, yes, John was in it, but alas I wasn’t. I still said I’d like a copy, so I gave him my details and hopefully he’ll send it to me via “yousendit.com” or something. Quite serendipitous. On a side note, it was Lawrence’s website that inspired this one.

    After that, Lachlan and I went back to Meg’s friend Nisa’s house in Moreland. I’ll save the details of that visit for my memoirs I think… Let’s just say it was pretty funny.

    At 5am I started walking home, listening to Depeche Mode’s 1986 “Black Celebration” album on my Creative Zen Neeon mp3 player and smelling the freshly baked bread from Sydney Road’s numerous bakeries. I got home about 5:30. Fantastic Friday night.

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    How great is wearing a suit for no reason?

  • Cafe Micallef

    Ahoy,

    Ooh I tell ya, this whole “living in Melbourne” thing just keeps getting better and better! Under the premise of writing an article for RMIT University’s “Catalyst” Magazine, I lured TV’s Shaun Micallef to Druids Cafe on Swanston Street yesterday, where we chatted for approximately 50 minutes. Oh wait, actually, Druids was his suggestion…

    Of course, it wasn’t the first time I’d interviewed him (2006), nor was it the first time that I had met him (2004), but it was still a wonderful privilege to pick the brain of one of this nation’s most respected comedians, again. Just last week he received his first Gold Logie nomination, despite  having worked in television for 20 years. We talked in a somewhat rambling all-over-the-place fashion about comedy, Australian television, Talkin’ Bout Your Generation, his Melbourne Comedy Festival show with Stephen Curry (Good Evening: The Sketches of Peter Cook & Dudley Moore), Shaun’s New Year’s Eve Special, The Late Richard Marsland, his 2009 magical TV moment with Martin Short, his kids, who Shaun finds funny these days and a lot of other crap I’ve forgotten. Thankfully I recorded it! Ahh… I can hear my journalism lecturers making that disappointed “Skippy the Bush Kangaroo noise” as they shake their fingers at me for relying on a recording device instead of taking notes…

    I’ll condense it down for you, the reader guy/gal, and put it in texual form for the May edition of Catalyst. And for those of you who don’t live in Melbourne, or who can’t be bothered picking up a copy, I’ll post a link to the online edition when it’s available… or hey, if you want the Catalyst website now, don’t waste your time with fumbly search engines, just click here.

    Special thanks also to fellow RMIT post-grad journalism student Ben Hagemann for taking these excellent photos. I love the lighting. Some higher resolution versions will no doubt appear alongside the published article.

    Shaun also signed my copy of “Smithereens,” which I’ve had since 2004 and not actually finished reading…

    And like everyone I meet everyday, I presented Shaun Micallef with a copy of “David M. Green: The Radio Adelaide Years.”

    I’ll keep you posted on the release date of the article.

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    Jeeze… I’m turning into some kind of… “journalist”

  • Study journalism at RMIT. See the sights of TV Town!

    To paraphrase Styx: it’s high time I (we) gave you an update on my RMIT journalistic educationary ventures (start a revolution). Ahh… great album.

    Yes, so as I was saying… I’m now in week 4 of uni, studying my post-graduate diploma in journalism at RMIT and it’s going pretty well. Pretty, pretty, pre-tty… pretty well. I believe I’ve now established myself as “the funny guy” (or at least, one of the 3). It’s great. Going to uni is a ball! I’d forgotten how fun it was. Everyone else in the course is awesome. We all get along like a school on fire and coffee, baked goods and doing the various daily newspaper quizzes as a group has quickly become a regular mid-morning ritual. Such is my future-focused mind, I already know I’m going to miss this in 9 months… All the more reason to make the most of it.

    You may be wondering what these photos are. You may not be. You may not even be reading this. Sometimes I don’t know why I bother. These photos were actually taken on our first day. We were given the task of going out and finding a few notable Melbourne locations, swapping contact information and taking  pictures to prove we didn’t just go and drink. I like this one in particular. It looks like the anchor team from a TV newsroom:

    Might help the illusion if we were standing in front of a bank of cameras or a news desk instead of a tenant index…

    Speaking of TV, we did vox-pops last week! For the uninformed, vox-popping is when a guy takes a camera onto the street and sticks a microphone into a stranger’s face to get the opinion of the man (or woman) on the street, often to hilarious results. Despite my years of community radio and various straight-to-the-Internet video experience, I’d never actually performed a legitimate vox-pop. Indeed, I’m quite a novice when it comes to the field of vox-poppery. So I teamed up with fellow “the funny guy” Lachlan Cowlishaw and headed down to Burke Street Mall (not far from where I had lunch with Richard Marsland 2 years ago, actually). We had no interest in examining a serious issue, and so asked various street-walkers (as in “people walking by,” not “prostitutes”) “if you could have a dinner date with anyone in the world, who would it be?” It was A LOT of fun. Damn it was great to get back in front of a camera again. I really love it. And we got some pretty good responses too. A few dud ones of course, but that’s to be expected. This week we’re editing them and then in late May (apparently) they’ll actually appear on C31’s “Newsline” (which I also get to host!). THIS is why I came to Melbourne!

    Oh and just by the by, yesterday whilst waiting on Swanston Street for the tram home, I noticed 3 separate RMIT vox-pop teams setting up in the vicinity of the Victorian State Library. Undergraduates. They have to do vox-popping too, evidently. So, knowing that THEY don’t know who I am, I went up to each of them in turn and provided joke answers to their seriousy-type questions. Hehehe! Someone sometime is going to watch back all that footage and see the same idiot (wearing the same white cardigan) being obnoxious on a variety of issues! And then later down the track still they’re going to see me actually hosting the show that’s broadcasting them! Hehehe… ahhh… Meg doesn’t find this nearly as funny as I do…

    Oh yes and one more thing… I was ACTUALLY on Seven News Victoria Tuesday last week! My good friend and fellow RMIT “journo” Ben Hagemann and I hopped off a tram (again, at Burke Street Mall) and were accosted by several Yarra Tram ticket officers. There was also a TV news crew on the scene. Now, whether or not we were actually fare evaders on that occasion is irrelevant, but rest assured, the situation resolved itself appropriately. That night I switched on the box, delighted to see myself (from the chin down) in the background of some story about the disabled and passengers with prams having difficulty boarding some of Melbourne’s older trams. I have a recording. It’s available upon request. Here’s a still though: (that’s me in the red shirt and black pants!)

    Kind regards,
    TV’s David M. Green
    That’s right! Ohohohoho… hmmm… mmm…