David M. Green: Purveyor of fine humour

Tag: MTR

  • 2012. Highest of highs. Lowest of lows.

    I started 2012 in much the same way I end it: Relaxing in Adelaide, uncertain about my state of employment when I return to Melbourne.

    12 months ago, I was on my Christmas break from panelling “The Steve Vizard Show” on Melbourne Talk Radio. Instead of finding a fill-in host for 4 weeks, MTR instead took a network feed from 2GB in Sydney. This sparked rumours the show wouldn’t be coming back in 2012.

    My plan was simply to work there as long as possible. That ended up being 7 weeks.

    It was just a regular day at the radio station on 2 March 2012. The Vizard crew left early to have some farewell drinks in St Kilda to celebrate assistant producer Gen’s last day. We were sitting outside on Fitzroy Street around 4.45PM when phones started ringing. And that was it. MTR had been clumbsily pulled off the air by upper management at 5PM.

    Turned out it was everyone’s last day.

    But at least we were in the right place for it. I never ended up paying, so thank you to who ever fixed the bill that night. I went back to the station around 7 o’clock to pick up my bag. Naturally the studio had been dead-bolted, my security pass deactivated and a security guard posted at the front door. Fortunately there was a nice chap at SEN who let me in. I took the opportunity to swipe some post-it notes.

    This happened at a particularly difficult time for me, as I’d just signed a lease on my own apartment two days earlier. Conveniently in the adjacent suburb to the MTR studios. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!?!

    I tried my luck at some other radio stations, though it turns out it’s not much easier to get panelling work even with experience. And in my case anyway, no one seemed particularly interested in paying for training. So the option was to go in and work for free for an indeterminate amount of time with no promise of a job at the end of it, while my rent goes unpaid, or give up and get a job stacking shelves in a supermarket like so many other out-of-work show biz types.

    Hence I was extremely lucky to land another local panelling gig at Crocmedia, working on AFL Live with the legendary sports broadcasters in Rex Hunt, Sandy Roberts and Peter Donegan. Certainly the best part of that whole venture was being the go-to sound effect guy for Rex Hunt. And panelling the Grand Final to 96 radio stations (flawlessly, I might add) is going to be a highlight of radio career that won’t soon be surpassed.

    [display_podcast]

    So from March to April, I went from full time radio work to weekend radio work, with a little casual wedding DJ-ing in between. The DJ-ing lasted until I discovered I was being paid half of the travel allowance I was lead to believe. Is it too much to ask to be given a freaking break?

    Though less money was coming my way, I did have an abundance of time, which came in handy in the lead up to shooting the first season of my TV game show 31 Questions. This was why I moved to Melbourne, after all.

    Television.

    Without a doubt, it’s been the best experience of my life. My favourite part of the process was being in the studio, joking around with the cast, crew and contestants. When a gag I had written months earlier was finally delivered (not necessarily by me) and it actually WORKED, I can’t describe how rewarding the laughter was. It was such a thrill when anything on that show actually worked. Even the buzzers.

    And I’m so pleased with how far the show has come. It was always a distant goal to get it aired on all the community stations around Australia. And we did it. We even got approved by a TV station in New Zealand.

    The team and I now have our eyes set on a second season, which is due to start shooting in March 2013. There are still plenty of mistakes we made in season 1, which I’m relishing the opportunity to improve upon.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KOVE3TJtkYE

    Here are some of my favourite ridiculously positive comments left on the 31 Questions Facebook Page this year:

    Lachlan Couley, Sydney, 4 Dec
    “This is the best show I’ve ever watched in my whole life.”

    Jacob Thaw, Melbourne, 26 Jul
    “I don’t think it would be unreasonable to say that this is the best game show on c31. Perhaps even the best show on television. 31 thumbs up!”

    Daniel Barrie, Sydney, 17 Dec
    “You guys are flippin Hillarious! Me and my housemates watch this crap every week!!! Lmfao the best half hour I waste every week”

    Pip Schapel, Adelaide, 20 Nov
    “Dear 31 questions, I’m devastated tonights your last show. came across it a few wks back & it’s f****** awesome. Some of the contestants are fair average though…I would win this show, I get heaps of these questions right. Hope you do another season PEACE!”

    Blazenka Brysha, Melbourne, 11 Jun
    “I think the reason you lot are not on the ABC is because you are so entertaining. I do hope that you can still remain so chipper and creative when the ABC lures you into its staid straightjacket.”

    Lachy Palmos, Perth, 16 Oct
    “this is probably the best show on television at the moment…legit”

    How fantastic is that? People who actually like the show! Thanks everyone. It’s so rewarding to read these comments.

    Perhaps more interesting, what does it say about the general state of TV in Australia when someone would actually say that our crappy little game show is “the best show on television”?

    Obviously a pretty sad line up…

    I’ve also done quite a bit of freelance writing work this year, appearing in/on The Drum, Mamamia, The Punch, mX and Australian Popular Science Magazine.

    There were a handful of other little creative projects: a couple of podcasts, more Too Easy episodes, a screenplay, the odd bit of voice-over work, etc. I also spent seven weeks working at a digital advertising agency. It was a valuable experience in the sense I’ve added another occupation to the list of jobs I don’t want.

    In the year of our lord 2012, I also made my debut on ABC Radio National’s “The Science Show” with a 5 minute radio story about a Carl Sagan-inspired play at the Malthouse Theatre called “Pale Blue Dot”.

    Science has always been an interest of mine. Had comedy not been my chosen path, I reckon I’d have set my eyes on space.

    After 4 years of ABC job applications, I finally managed to get a few casual producing shifts at 774 ABC Melbourne, producing for “The Morning Program” with Jon Faine. I enjoyed working there and would definitely be interested in MORE SHIFTS… something to keep pursuing in 2013 😉

    In fact, the ABC has been the dream for a long time. It seems to be the the only place in radio or TV in Australia that really gives talent the opportunity to develop and create content that isn’t about Kim Kardashian.

    Though I only did 3 shifts at ABC 774 this year, I did meet Jill Meagher a few weeks before she died. She was the unit assistant, so she handled all the paperwork when I started. She was a lovely person and like everyone else, I was completely shocked and deeply saddened when she was found raped and murdered.

    Events like this, terrible as they are, give people a chance to step back and appreciate the important things in life. And I’ll tell you what, petty office politics isn’t one of them.

    Possibly the biggest lifestyle change I’ve experienced this year is a new found appreciation for tea. That’s all thanks to Van Badham, my close friend and mentor. She introduced me to Dilmah Rose and French Vanilla tea with vanilla soy milk. Sure, it’s more camp than a row of tents. But it’s absolutely sensational.

    Tea tastes considerably better when you have it in a proper teacup. As nice as it is to drink a hot beverage from a mug with my face on it, a traditional teacup holds less liquid, so the tea is more highly concentrated. And I think there’s something about the cone-esque shape of the cup that aerates the tea better, or some crap.

    Anyway, my parents have a bunch of old porcelain handed down through the generations just sitting in boxes at the family mansion. They haven’t been used in 50 years or something. So I’ve taken it upon myself to take them to Melbourne. What’s the point of having these fabulous antiques if you aren’t getting pleasure from using them?

    You only live once. These things are supposed to be enjoyed!

    So what’s the plan for 2013?

    Season 2 of “31 Questions” on Channel 31 and beyond. And some more paid work would be nice.

    I’d also like to invest in my own proper recording equipment so I can finally be free to create audio masterpieces without having to rely on other people or organisations.

    Anything else will be a bonus.

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    See you in 2013.

  • From the ashes of MTR

    The dream is over.

    When I applied for my 76th job for the year in May 2011 – a  “talent bank” advert for Melbourne Talk Radio – I had little hope it would turn into anything more than an unread email, and no idea it would actually turn into a full time position as the panel-operator & audio producer for The Steve Vizard Show, plus the guy who manages the station’s social media accounts and podcasts.

    And that’s what I’ve been doing for the last 6 months. It’s essentially been my life.

    Since moving from casual weekends to The Steve Vizard Show at the start of October, I never missed a shift. I panelled a total of #99 3-hour live talk radio shows and racked up 505 hours on the buttons.

    I can panel that show in my sleep.

    Working at MTR has been the most incredible experience of my life. And I don’t say that lightly.

    Hey, I would have been content if all I got out of this job was my first ever dedicated office phone line…

    I could finally put something in the (W) section of a standard application form!

    But MTR was obviously so much more to me than that.

    The people I had the great pleasure to work with every single day are some of the most talented and hard-working individuals I’ve ever met. In any industry.

    But it broke our hearts on Friday when the talk station went into administration and shut down, switching back over to easy listening.

    It’s a loss for Melbourne. It’s a loss for the Australian media landscape.

    Speaking now as an employee of no radio station, I can say without bias that the Melbourne radio market is easily big enough to support a second commercial talkback station. Just look at Sydney. And in terms of advertising dollars, Sydney has the smaller market.

    Talk is the future of radio. The future of music is the mp3 player.

    It can be done. It should be done. And I predict that eventually, someone with vision will come along and give 3AW a proper run for their vast piles of money.

    Other commentators will postulate why MTR failed. And there are many theories. But let me just say, we all had a hell of a good time. Towards the end, it was essentially 15 people running an entire Melbourne radio station!

    As Steve Price told us at a farewell dinner on Monday, it was a two-year long party. And I’m glad I was along for the ride for 9 months.

    For an accurate summary of the events that lead to MTR’s demise, see Michael Bodey’s article in The Australian.

    In true comic style however, I chose to sign a 12-month lease on February 29 for an apartment in Hawthorn just 5 minutes from the former MTR studios in Richmond.

    48 hours later, I lost my job.

    CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!?!

    Is it too much to ask for JUST A WEEK of convenience?!!?

    I’m moving house on Saturday. So this really is the start of a new chapter in the life of DMG.

    I’ve lived in this wonderful share house in Coburg for two years. Team Bell Street rescued me from the horrid squalor of  three weeks in Altona. However, I feel it’s time to take the next step and get my own space.

    As I’ve already made this decision, this puts me in a tricky position. I will need to find another job reasonably quickly, or risk the embarrassment of being bailed out by my Mother.

    But that’s show biz, kid. Highest of highs. Lowest of lows.

    One day you’re the most important guy who ever lived. The next, you’re some schmoe working in a box factory.

    Of course, if you’re reading this and thinking your box factory could use a little more David M. Green, by all means send me an email. We have the technology.

    On the plus side, this does give me more time to dedicate to my upcoming TV game show 31 Questions. It would have been a slightly wasted opportunity, had I not been able to put 100% into what will be the largest creative project I’ve yet undertaken.

    I will be on television later this year, with or without a job. Like some sort of radio phoenix, rising from the ashes of MTR.

    I’ll leave you with a brief look at just a fraction of what I had the great privilege of doing at Melbourne Talk Radio these past 9 months. Enjoy.

    [display_podcast]

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    Off the buttons. For now.

  • 2011. A year of sweet success.

    What started out as a pretty crappy year for me, really picked up about half way through, and ended on a high.

    Since finishing journalism at RMIT Uni last year, I literally applied for 75 jobs between October 2010 and May 2011, to no success. It was extremely demoralising. Even more so because I’m a genius, and most people don’t seem to have the time to notice. Also, I’m terrible in job interviews.

    But it just so happened I was at the right place at the right time with MTR. I started as a Melbourne Talk Radio panel operator in June. And in October I started working full time on The Steve Vizard Show. It’s turned out to be one of the most amazing experiences I’ve ever had. Great people. Lots of laughs. A few tears. And some great radio. Very much looking forward to continuing in 2012.

    This is why I moved to Melbourne.

    Something that’s gone a little less successfully, was my Channel 31 TV game show “31 Questions”. After actually being canceled in February, we managed to get un-canceled in May and we shot a second pilot on June 29. It went very well and certainly one of the highlights of my year:

    We had a spanner thrown in the works when some clown at RMIT University decided they wanted to make it as difficult as possible for people to use their television studio. And for the last 6 months we’ve been waiting for the go ahead to present the pilot to Channel 31 (which might I add, has already been filmed. It’s sitting on a DVD ready to go). We’ve neither been approved nor rejected. And we’re hoping (yet again) we’ll get to make a 13-episode series in early 2012.

    And if we get a “no”, then we’ll obviously be looking at other options, because this is what we want to do. We want to make TV. It’s incredible how many people are out there trying to tear you down. But I can assure you I will never give up. NEVER! NEVER! NEVER!

    I’ve made a few other TV appearances this year. To save you time, here are a selection of hilarious highlights:

    It’s been a year of highs and lows. But I think the high highs make the low lows worth it. And I do believe that for the eighth year in a row, this has been the best year of my life.

    Professionally. Creatively. Socially.

    And I’m still loving Melbourne.

    I’m now looking forward to heading back to Adelaide for Christmas and the New Year. See the family, old friends and shoot some more Too Easy!

    But I’ll be back in Melbourne for 2012. I have a feeling next year is going to be something special.

    So have yourselves a merry little Christmas and all that crap. See you on the other side.

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green

  • Panelling it like it is.

    I’m proud to announce I’m back in the panel-operators’ club! I now work at Melbourne Talk Radio MTR1377!

    It’s been a long time since my last paid panel-operator gig at Adelaide’s SAFM ended with me being replaced by a computer.

    That was August 2008. I was young and inexperienced. And it was in that brief period after the job cuts of the global financial crisis but before the increased opportunities that came from digital radio. But hey, that’s all water under the burnt bridge… 😉

    So it’s only taken 3 years, a Graduate Diploma of Journalism, a move to Melbourne, and 76 job applications since October (not even joking), but I’ve finally found another job in radio.

    So far I’m enjoying working at MTR. Everyone I’ve met has been fantastic. There’s a strong news culture. And it’s no secret I’m a fan of talk back radio (See On The Yacht).

    I’ll be working on a casual and fill-in basis for now, which suits me perfectly, as that will allow me to work on my Channel 31 game show 31 Questions over the next few months. A big thank you to MTR operations manager Jason Taylor.

    I’m particularly enjoying the idea of working in the same building as Steve Vizard and my childhood TV hero, Glenn Ridge! Actually, it’s kinda strange having filmed that sketch with Glenn just last month, and now I’m seeing him every Saturday night when I arrive at MTR just as he leaves.

    So tune in to 1377AM if you’re in the Melbourne area, or listen online. You just might hear the audible results of me pressing buttons and moving faders.

    I’ll leave you now with a tune that sums up this moment perfectly, from a fellow panel-operator by the name of Radio’s Sam Mac…

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    Back on the buttons!