David M. Green: Purveyor of fine humour

Tag: radio

  • Goodness Gracious 2023

    Urgh here we go again.

    2023 was certainly the year of VHS Revue. With no writing work on Mad as Hell for the first time in a decade, I figured I’d go all in on the video tape-based web series I’ve been dabbling on since 2008. And I reckon the hard work paid off.

    I made 16 episodes to bring the total to 50. This one is probably my favourite:

    I thought I’d try doing some PR this year too. I ended up appearing on three radio shows, eight podcasts, plus three TV appearances! Here’s me shitting myself on Studio 10 shortly before the show was axed:

    And here I am on Today Extra a mere 34 hours after getting back from Sweden, not entirely sure if any of this was real:

    Then there’s the show’s growing audience on social media – especially TikTok – which started the year with about 12k followers and ends it at more than 27k, with one clip gaining more than one million views – a first for me on any platform.

    It’s never the ones you think will do well…

    @vhsrevue

    Remember when Kmart sold stuff besides plastic shoes? Get a load of their range in this Aussie ad from 1984. #kmart #australia #vhsrevue #80s #nostalgia #videogames

    ? original sound – VHS Revue

    Those 16 new episodes were also just enough to reach the magic 4,000 watch hours on YouTube within a 12 month period, thus finally allowing me to become a partner and start getting a slice of that YouTube ad money. So far I’ve made 28 cents.

    The Patreon account has been a bit more successful. Currently the show has 52 paid subscribers. Thanks, you people! And thanks to everyone else who’s helped me make the show – or just watched it – over the last 50 episodes.

    Oh yeah and I wrote an article for The Guardian too.

    But what does the future hold for VHS Revue? Well I’ve certainly got no shortage of tapes…

    Other work things and back in March I was in a TV commercial for Seek.com.au.

    More of that please.

    I had a little writing work on a TV quiz show and wrote a bit of website copy but nothing like Mad as Hell unfortunately. Doesn’t feel like there’ll be a show like that again any time soon, which is a bit of a shame (speaking as both a writer and viewer).

    Still panelling radio at SEN. Pushed the buttons for the usual things: AFL, NBL, BBL, AFLW. I also panelled SEN’s first ever netball radio broadcast and did some of the FIFA Women’s World Cup coverage.

    The Australia v. France penalty shootout was a pretty special sporting moment to be part of. You can see me on the video through the glass here.

    See if you can tell what went wrong…

    I also did a few days on Trade Radio and ended the year with three weeks panelling Afternoons with Jimmy Smith and The Run Home with Joel & Fletch on 1170 SEN Sydney.

    The Sydney studios were out of action in November/December for refurbishing so all their programming had to be panelled from other studios around the network. It also resulted in my first on-air appearance on said network. Despite working for Crocmedia/SEN since 2012 and being referred to on various shows by everyone from Rex Hunt to Tim Gossage, I’d never actually been on air. Mainly because I can’t talk about sport. Still, The Run Home guys invited me on to say hi and once Jimmy Smith found out I was a comedy writer, well I had to give him something:

    [display_podcast]

    It’s been so long since I’ve hosted a radio show, I do kind of miss it. So it was cool this year to be part of a podcast pilot called ‘Back in Those Days’ with Isabella Valette, which we recorded at the fabulous HitMaker Studios in Port Melbourne. Hope we can make more of those.

    Annika, Gus, Rockley and I have settled into Coburg. We’ve got our favourite cafés, playgounds and local landmarks (ie. The Cat House – if you know, you know).

    One of the highlights of the year was our olive harvesting party, where we had some friends round to hang out, eat nice bread and pick the olives off our seven olive trees. We got 62kg of olives, which we had turned into 6 litres of olive oil.

    There were still a few buckets left on the trees so I also preserved some in jars, a process I found surprisingly enjoyable. The black ones in particular turned out great. Probably won’t bother with the green ones next time (a bit too acidic. Probably best to use those for oil).

    In June/July we spent a month in Sweden for midsommer. It was my first overseas trip since the pandemic, our first long haul flight with a baby and probably the worst thing I’ve ever experienced. But once we got there it was quite nice.

    We introduced Gus to Annika’s side of the family. My Mum and her partner Nigel came too and they met all the Swedish relatives. Basically a lot of time with family and friends; eating, drinking, saunaing and enjoying the long summer days outdoors.

    I’d been to Sweden three times before but this was my first time driving a car there. Thanks to those skills I picked up on our honeymoon in the US though, it wasn’t nearly as terrifying. Just like riding a bike.

    Couldn’t quite say the same for the kayak…

    That year 8 canoeing camp didn’t do squat.

    Oh and I saw a moose for the first time! Which I’m told is actually quite rare. It was munching on some grass in the glade just outside our house. Had to get out the video camera for that one:

    Thankfully the flight back wasn’t as bad.

    God if there was ever a time to have a row to yourself…

    There a Bob Odenkirk stand-up bit that gets recited quite a bit in our house:

    “At some point your kids kinda mutate. They go from being beautiful miracles of love into the worst roommates you’ve ever had. Because they become roommates who: don’t help, who you have to drive around, who don’t think you’re funny, kinda hate you… you have to feed them or you go to jail. YOU go to jail if you don’t feed them. And you’ve had bad roommates but the worst part is you love them. You love these bastards.”

    And he’s only 18 months…

    No surprise I didn’t watch as many things or read as many books this year. Basically every free moment I had went into VHS Revue. But I did read ‘Lincoln in the Bardo’ by George Saunders (2017), which was absolutely brilliant. Very original and full of many funny choices.

    My favourite TV show at the moment is ‘For All Mankind’, now in its 4th season and the best Australian show this century returned with the season 2 of ‘The Newsreader’ on ABC TV. I highly recommend all of the above.

    Sometimes I reckon I hit the genetic lottery (I mean, just look at that lush head of hair with nary a grey in sight) but I think this might have been the first year where I’ve started to see the cracks of middle age appearing. Particularly while editing VHS Revue, I saw a noticeable difference between the batch of episodes I shot in November 2021 compared to January 2023. It might have something to do with me becoming a parent in between and losing all notion of a good night’s sleep. Or maybe it’s because I shot 16 episodes in a single weekend, I don’t know.

    But I’m 36 now. I can injure my back just by reaching for the shampoo in the shower. It’ll be my 20th high school reunion next year! And I’m getting closer to that point where there’s actually more years behind me than ahead. That’s if I’m lucky. Which of course I am.

    There have been some horrible, disturbing and disappointing things happen in the world this year. War in Gaza, the failed referendum, global warming, AI, the soaring cost of everything, Elon Musk ruining Twitter. Right wing authoritarianism. It feels like we are teetering on some sort of precipice.

    It’s a wonderful gift this life.

    Wishing you all the good things.

    DMG

  • The Adelaide Show Podcast

    Had a great chat the other day with Steve Davis on The Adelaide Show Podcast. Listen to it here.

    We talked in depth about writing for Shaun Micallef’s Mad as Hell. I went into the finer details about how I wrote that Bunnings Conspiracy fake ad and discussed what makes a good ‘out of context footage’ joke.

    Also touched on working in radio, Good Afternoon Adelaide, VHS Revue and old Adelaide TV commercials like Southern Music Centre, Force Electronics and Cunningham’s Warehouse.

    Enjoy!

    -DMG

  • Hitting the podcast circuit

    I’ve made a few guest appearances on radio shows and podcasts this year (and there are more to come) as part of my one man VHS Revue publicity tour. Here are a couple of links.

    Champagne Comedy Podcast

    I joined the folks on Ep 45 of the ‘Champagne Comedy Podcast’ discussing The Late Show, Frontline, Mad as Hell and comedy/TV/radio more generally. Also spent quite a bit of time talking about G-codes.

    Available on your favourite podcast platform, or:

    Gattsy on Goosebumps

    And really enjoyed talking with Alex Gates about my Goosebumps books and VHS Revue. You can listen to our chat on his podcast ‘Gattsy on Goosebumps’ right here.

    -DMG

  • End of Year Bloggy Blog 2021

    I spent all of January in the zero Covid paradise of Adelaide, watching the crazy events in the United States on TV as their infection and death rates skyrocketed, a violent mob of right-wing conspiracy theorists literally stormed the Capitol Building and their political system teetered on the edge of collapse. It was quite horrifying to be honest. All you could do was watch and hope they held it together.

    Luckily those brilliant scientists whipped up some vaccines in record time and adults were allowed back into the White House. But I feel it’s only a matter of time before a new variant returns and starts wreaking havoc. A new variant of Trump I mean. Also the virus.

    Summer in Adelaide was surreal. People were walking around in the sunshine and in packed supermarkets, or sitting in a crowded theatre like in the before times. No masks. Almost as if the pandemic and the Melbourne lockdowns were just something I dreamt. It was nice though. Even though I was still very sad about losing my brother just before Christmas and my wife was stuck in Stockholm until April after travelling to visit her dying father, it was good to be among friends and family again.

    One way I dealt with my grief over Luke was to throw myself into a new season of VHS Revue, my video tape-reviewing webseries. I had written 10 episodes in the latter half of 2020 with the intention that I’d shoot all my pieces to camera in Adelaide. And that’s exactly what I did, with the help of my good friend Alexis Kotlowy.

    I basically spent 3 solid weeks in January editing every night into the small hours and by the end of the month I had 10 new episodes, which I released over the first half of the year. There were times when I was editing where it felt like Luke was sitting on the couch next to me, occasionally offering suggestions just like he used to 20 years ago when I made little cartoon animations in Microsoft Power Point.

    One joke in particular I reckon came straight from Luke. The animated Pierce Brosnan line-up in this episode:

    He would have laughed hard at that one.

    I was quite happy with these new episodes. Got some nice comments and about 200 new YouTube subscribers this year. I also launched a Patreon account and acquired some wonderful financial supporters too. With that money I was able to buy a better video camera and some other equipment so the 8 new episodes I’m working on at the moment will all be in high definition (1080p at 50 frames per second).

    Yeah, I think I’m done with the degraded VHS look. It’s too much trouble and I wonder if it deters people from clicking on the videos? I’m sure the YouTube algorithms kick non-HD videos to the back of the queue. So look out for those shiny new ones in 2022.

    In February I drove back to Melbourne just in time for Lockdown 3. That one was only a few days so compared to the other ones it hardly counts.

    Went straight back to panelling radio at SEN. Panelled all the usual stuff: AFL(W), tennis, A-League, horseracing, cricket (BBL and The Ashes) plus a bunch of shows around the network, from Perth to Adelaide to Tasmania to Brisbane and now New Zealand.

    Panelling radio is a strange job really, especially when I’m not in the same room as the on-air talent. One of the Big Bash League cricket matches was played in Sydney. The commentators were in Perth, calling the match off a TV screen. And I was pressing the buttons for it at head office in Melbourne, sitting in a studio on my own. There are people I’ve worked with for years, talk to regularly, and have never met. Or even seen their face.

    For the second year in a row the AFL Grand Final couldn’t be held at the MCG due to a Covid outbreak, so Optus Oval in Perth staged it. I panelled one of SEN’s four calls, all going to different radio markets. They had two commentary teams in Perth and another two calling off the TV in Melbourne. I upheld tradition and wore a suit. Not the best lighting in those upstairs studios…

    Annika was due to fly back to Melbourne from Sweden in late March but Melbourne still hadn’t resumed hotel quarantine for international arrivals, so her flight was changed to Adelaide.

    In April I drove back to Adelaide during that brief period where there were no cases anywhere in Australia and all the state borders were open.

    I visited her towards the tail end of her two weeks isolated in Peppers Hotel in the city. Gave me a good opportunity to test out the zoom on my new video camera.

    https://twitter.com/David_M_Green/status/1382318947190534144?s=20

    We drove back to Melbourne via a couple of days in Halls Gap. Beautiful country.

    In May I was back writing on Season 13 of Shaun Micallef’s Mad as Hell. Was great to be back in the office again without the masks. Unfortunately that didn’t last long and on May 27 we were back in Lockdown 4.

    The studio audience was all set to return as well but the ABC pre-empted the official lockdown and made the call on May 25 – literally just before taping the first episode – that we were going ahead without the audience. Probably the right move.

    Lockdown 4 lasted a couple of weeks and was notable for us because we got our rescue cat Rockley. I’ve always been more of a dog person but I think he’s converted me. We love him.

    He’s also on Instagram.

    So I wrote from home for a couple of weeks before we were allowed back into the office and by episode 6, the studio audience had returned. It was so great to hear the sound of laughter again. I’d forgotten what it sounded like. But alas, it was short lived as the 12-day Lockdown 5 began July 15.

    We were really jerked around this season. It was annoying for sure, but I understand the reasoning. The “let it rip” alternative would have been far worse.

    Couple more weeks writing from home before the office opened up just in time for my last 2 writing days before closing again for Lockdown 6. That was the big one. And things didn’t open up again until November when 80 per cent of Victorians were double vaccinated.

    Made a couple of cameos this year in between lockdowns, with various face coverings.

    I was relieved when I finally got my Pfizer vaccines. Would have been nice to get them a bit earlier and maybe avoid some of those lockdowns but I think Scott Morrison had a photoshoot with a bird feeder or some time sensitive rorting to do or something. Understandable.

    So it feels like – in Melbourne anyway – we spent about as much time stuck indoors this year as we did last year. Consequently I read about 10 books. I think that’s a PB.

    The best of them was Van Badham’s excellent “QANON AND ON”. Very well researched, fascinating and deeply disturbing. Reminded me of (my favourite) Eric Schlosser and his style of non-fiction writing. I highly recommend. I read quite a bit of it while queuing up at the drive-through testing clinic outside Chadstone Shopping Centre.

    Other achievements include finishing a puzzle my sister Hannah sent me and also finishing GTA San Andreas to 100 per cent. Man that NRG-500 Challenge is a bastard.

    Oh yeah and last year’s season of Good Afternoon Adelaide won the Antenna Award for Outstanding Sound (two in a row!). Had the ceremony been scheduled for one week earlier, it would have just snuck in before the lockdown chaos but nope. They rescheduled a couple of times but it just wasn’t happening so they finally decided to do it remotely. Fortunately community television has that capability, what with being a television broadcaster and all.

    And in fact due to sustained community pressure, the federal government caved once again and gave Channel 31 and Channel 44 extensions to their broadcast licences. Swish!

    I was also a guest on a few live streams. They were good fun. It’s sort of like television except I’m on it.

    It was nice the SA border opened up again just in time for Christmas. Of course, it has lead to over 1,000 cases a day in Adelaide but it also meant I could see my family for the holidays. So… roped off swings and roundabouts clogged with cars lining up to get tested.

    We’re back in Melbourne to see out the end of the year. The cat was happy to see us after spending 5 days in a cattery. His meow sounds a little different now though.

    Something new for 2022, and a decade since I moved out of Coburg, I’ll be moving back as we’ve somehow bought our first house. Looking forward to being north side again. The last few years in Malvern have been a little sterile. Although it could just be because I’m sliding into middle age… Well we’ll see about that.

    I get the feeling things are still going to get a bit worse before they get better what with 21,000 cases in New South Wales today. But if we’ve all come this far… well what are ya gonna do?

    All the best for you in 2022.

    -DMG

  • Les Lawlor – Catching rats during The Depression

    Hey check out this interview I found recently:

    Bryce Radford interviews Les Lawlor on ABC Radio in 1985 for a series called “Voices from a Vanishing Australia”.

    Leslie William Lawlor (1901-1994) is my great grandfather (my Mum’s Mum’s Dad). He founded Lawlor’s Pest Control in Adelaide (“Lawlor’s – the white ant people”) after catching rats during The Depression. In this chat, he talks about what life and employment was like at the time, selling Bryant & May matches, the pest control business, salt damp and termite issues in Adelaide and Australia, as well as a fascinating method of how he caught rats in butcher shops.

    I recall spending time with him when I was very young. He lived in the Adelaide suburb of Cowandilla, which is right under the flight path of the main runway at Adelaide Airport. This interview was obviously recorded at his home because at one point you can hear a plane coming in to land. I found this interview absolutely fascinating and I really wish there was more.

    -DMG