David M. Green: Purveyor of fine humour

Tag: Sophie Loughran

  • 31 Questions Ep #12: Penultimayhem!

    MMMMYYYYEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS!

    It’s the second to last episode of season 1 of 31 Questions! And in my opinion, this episode is the best one.

    It features my favourite segment from the series: “Showboating” – where contestants David & Erin have to name the boat. Special thanks to Maritime Union of Australia President Paddy Crumlin (actually his name).

    And a welcome to our new fans in Perth and Adelaide after this week’s debut in those two cities.

    I’ve been whoring myself in the Adelaide media this week.

    Here’s me on Radio Adelaide 101.5FM’s “Radionotes” with John Murch.

    And then I had a chat with Peter Godfrey on FiveAA.

    I also made my first appearance in The Adelaide Advertiser since my 1987 birth notice:

    Fantastic media coverage for a community TV show with no PR budget. If I do say so myself, because I sure as hell am not paying anyone else to.

    Big thanks to the Adelaide Confidential section of The Advertiser!

    We’re even willing to overlook the fact they forgot to mention the NAME OF THE SHOW…

    But to their credit, all the other facts are spot on.

    I’ve just seen the rough cut of our season finale, which goes to air tomorrow, Saturday 10PM on Channel 31 Melbourne & Geelong.

    First day of spring. Last night of 31 Questions.

    I’m sad it’s coming to an end. Of course, it’s not the complete end. It’s only just beginning on TV in the other cities, and still yet to debut in others still.

    There was so much we wanted to get into the last show. I’ve made sure we didn’t cut me thanking on screen all of the important people who made 31 Questions possible.

    Although it may be tedious for you the viewer to watch me list a bunch of names of people you’ve never heard of, if it weren’t for them, you wouldn’t be watching me tediously listing those names on TV… so think about that.

    And if you liked our Facebook Page before Tuesday, get your freeze-framing finger ready because your name’s being broadcast!

    I predict you’re going to love it.

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    Televisionman.

  • The most expensive gag in community television history… Probably.

    Did someone say, “Gee, that 31 Questions is okay for a community TV show. But they could really use a once off $350 joke”?

    No? Well, I’m not surprised… But for argument’s sake, let’s assume you did!

    Last Thursday May 10 was our penultimate studio shoot and my good friend of 18 odd years, Gerard Kotlowy (also one of the 31 Questions writers) booked himself a flight from Adelaide to Melbourne to see his vision to appear on television and then be transformed into a cardboard cutout of himself come true.

    The only problem was… the cardboard cutout only arrived today.

    So we shot Gerard’s “live” bit last week and hopefully the magic of television will allow the 2nd half of our single most expensive gag to be immortalised on fabulous standard definition video tape during our final day in the studio tomorrow evening!

    The rest of the taping was a bit more rocky than in previous weeks. This was thanks mainly to competition with the news programme “Newsline” over RMITV resources such as the autocues, graphics machine and other things I don’t understand.

    Newsline goes live to air from 5.45PM to 6PM in the adjacent Studio B. So we had to keep it down during a time where we would otherwise be rehearsing and setting up for our shows.

    I’m all too familiar with Newsline, having completed a Graduate Diploma of Journalism (with Distinction, might I add) from RMIT University two years ago. A great course. I learned a lot and especially loved the television component.

    If memory serves, back then Newsline was 45 minutes. But these days it seems to only be 15 minutes. It might have something to do with my infamous gaff on the show back in ’10…

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZSojtnWJIf8

    Man, that was some bizarre television… Exactly what community TV should be 🙂

    Speaking of which, back to our show!

    Ahh Anthony, will you ever change that shirt? Or even just wash it once in a while, for Christ’s sake…

    We had a huge audience last week. And by “huge”, I mean like, 15 or so? Many thanks to the good folk who came down and joined in the triviality of the evening.

    It’s all getting to be a bit of a blur now. We’ve done 11 of these shows. I’ve forgotten 90% of the crap I’ve said. And as yet, I haven’t even watched any of the footage back.

    That’s not really how I’d like to do things in a perfect world, as I do find I’m able to self evaluate my performance much more effectively when I can see the video. I improve my sex life in much the same way.

    So this brings us to the FINAL studio shoot. We’re taping the last two episodes of our 13-episode season Thursday, 17 May 2012.

    We’ve got a lot to get done. As well as Eps 12 and 13, we also have to shoot four sketches and a bunch of pick-up shots; little things we missed or forgot to do in previous weeks.

    So come join the fun. It’s most likely your LAST EVER OPPORTUNITY to see me host a TV show. I mean, what moron would let me loose in a TV studio again? Someone who wanted to get fired.

    Hell, 31 Questions was officially cancelled by management in February last year! People have been trying to stop this show since the beginning.

    So this is it, my friends and foes. It’s now or never.

    So what are you waiting for!?!

    Be an extra special member of our exclusive studio audience. 7PM RMIT University. Studio A, Level 2, Building 12, near the corner of Swanston and Franklin Streets, Melbourne. Join the Facebook event here. Come one, come all!

    And feel free to join us cast and crew for a few drinks afterwards at an as yet undecided location.

    Hope to see you there.

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    Televisionman

  • 31 Questions: Low budget TV at its most adequate.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nAPVzMuPmzQ

    And a very big thank you to TV’s Andrew O’Keefe and the good people at Profile Talent Management and Global Television Studios in South Melbourne!

    The irony is we actually shot a sketch where AO’K refuses to appear in an ID for 31 Questions…

    Stay tuned for that one. It will be an opening sketch to one of our 13 episodes and will debut on Channel 31 at some point between June and August. More info when we find out our timeslot.

    We’ve now passed the half way point in the 31 Questions shooting schedule!

    Last Thursday May 3, we shot episodes 8 and 9. Once again there were the usual issues to deal with: crew calling in sick, technical glitches, pressed for time, etc.

    But we had a great audience turnout this week and we managed to shoot a couple of quick sketches in addition to the two episodes. Plus we finished on time for a change. Incredible!

    And it’s still smiles all round. At least when Simon gets his camera out.

    Some of the gags were a bit hit and miss. It never ceases to surprise me how completely off the mark I can be re how I think an audience will react.

    My hilarious friend Gerard Kotlowy and I, in one of our many laugh-generation sessions whenever I’m back in Adelaide, came up with this gag involving me pulling a cob of corn from beneath my podium in response to a question about farmers.

    I thought it would kill!

    On the night it received a lukewarm response. In hindsight it probably just confused people.

    But on the other hand, a throw away line coming back from a break: “I’m David M. Green. The love child of Jim Carrey, Gary Numan, and Jim Carrey…” got a HUGE laugh.

    Pfft… comedy.

    I think that’s why I like it so much. It’s never without mystery.

    An amusing bi-product of producing this TV show is I seem to be amassing an assortment of bizarre random items.

    The other day I had to go buy a rubber duck and a packet of little army men… watch the show and eventually you’ll find out why.

    When this is all over, I’ll have in my possession: x4 A1 sized black and white posters of my face, x10 David M. Green mugs, an air horn, x2 fluoro orange workers’ shirts, a name plate that says “Moderator”, x3 overpriced 31 Questions custom microphone flags, a safety card from a Boeing 737-800, and these are just the things we haven’t already given away as prizes…

    If there’s one thing I’ve already got enough of… it’s desk ornaments…

    Television has a rich history of amassing interesting knickknacks. A fact explored further by Anthony McCormack and myself in this brief video recorded in the RMITV prop room…

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8fne9b6T4UQ&feature=plcp

    This Thursday May 10 is our penultimate 31 Questions studio shoot. So if you can’t make it for the finale on May 17 THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE!

    So come watch two shows as they’re recorded on fabulous standard definition video tape this Thursday 7PM, Studio A, Level 2, Building 12 of RMIT University on scenic Swanston Street, Melbourne.

    RSVP to the event on Facebook. Or don’t and come anyway. Or alternatively, RSVP on Facebook and then don’t come. Or don’t RSVP and don’t come. These are your four options.

    Surprise me.

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    Oooooh… 31 Questions is coming sooooooooon!