I couldn’t believe the above typo when I saw it. On a poster for theĀ  new Channel Nine TV series In Their Footsteps, they make one of the simplest mistakes in the English language… They forget the apostrophe. Our “NATIONS” heroes?

Unfortunately, those posters are on bus shelters, tram stops and train stations all over Melbourne, and presumably, the rest of the country as well. How did that one get through the proof-readers? Unbelievable.

Do you think those brave diggers were battling in the trenches, knee-deep in crimson mud, so that we could all prance about back home making up our own God damn grammatical rules as we go along?!? I DON’T THINK SO!

Could be worse. They could have called the show “In There Footsteps” – one path that I hope we do not follow.

What isn’t to understand about the apostrophe?

If people aren’t leaving them out, they’re sticking them where they don’t belong, like the “well-educated” folks at Burnside Village. This snap was taken in Adelaide by my good friend Tim Wray:

Obviously a grasp of proper apostrophe use isn’t one of Burnside Village’s “Must have’s” this Mother’s Day.

I’m not 100% on “Mother’s Day” either. Really, shouldn’t it be “Mothers’ Day”, as it’s a day for ALL mothers, not just one?

Let’s run through the basics.

Plurals do not require apostrophes!

The only exception to this rule is when to not use an apostrophe would create more confusion. For example, to write “Cross the t’s and dot the i’s” is more appropriate than “Cross the ts and dot the is”. Both versions however, are more appropriate than “Cross the i’s and dot the t’s”, but that’s another issue.

We use apostrophes to imply ownership. For example, “this is David’s apostrophe”. If we’re talking about a collective ownership, such as a group of people, we would say: “the mouth-breathers’ grammatical skills need some work”.

Lastly, we use apostrophes to indicate missing letter(s). For example, “they are” can be contracted to “they’re” with the help of our old friend, the apostrophe.

Don’t have time to take the omnibus to the supermarket? Take the ‘bus instead!

Now do as I do and go out there and use this knowledge of apostrophes to make yourself feel like a big man!

Kind regards,
David M. Green
Two apostrophes in every garage.

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