Author: David M. Green

  • 31 Questions Ep #07: Anti-drug special

    How on Earth could this television show make so many drug references and still get away with a PG rating?

    Think of the children!

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    No one hides from David M. Green…

  • 31 Questions Ep #06

    31 Questions episode #6 has been put out to pasture on YouTube, where it shall remain until the end of time or until the YouTube supercomputer collapses in on itself under the pressure of excessive cat videos.

    In other news, we’ve now been approved by WestTV Perth, TVS Sydney, 31 Digital Brisbane AND 44 Adelaide to be re-broadcast on their local stations!

    So if YouTube’s not your thing and you live in one of those metropolitan areas, stay tuned for your chance to watch 31 Questions from the comfort of your armchair, just like us fancy folks in Melbourne & Geelong.

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    31 Questions: Proudly brought to you by NO SPONSOR.

  • 31 Questions Ep #05

    Last Saturday I drove up to scenic Warranwood in Melbourne’s outer east to join my good friend Dean Watson in front of his humungous TV to watch episode #5 of 31 Questions.

    His TV is literally like 8 of my TVs. My TV is very small.

    I also met his goat.

    In the world of legitimate TV game shows, last week SBS announced that “Letters and Numbers” will not be returning. Instead it will be replaced by the British version of the show: “Countdown”.

    This is a shame. But at the same time, it did make our parody segment “Letters and Letters” considerably more topical. Complete blind luck, considering we taped the episode back in April. That question about The Wiggles didn’t date quite as well, however.

    And spoiler alert, congratulations to Naomi, this week’s glorious champion! You can read her first hand account of her time on 31 Questions on her blog. Fascinating stuff, which I had no idea of at the time we taped the show.

    I’m very pleased with how 31 Questions has been received so far. Thank you for all the kind tweets and Facebook page comments. The response has literally been nothing but positive.

    By the way, I don’t believe I’ve shared the link to our fabulous review from Australian Tumbleweeds: “Australia’s most opinionated blog about comedy”. I don’t know who that guy is, but he’s an exceptionally harsh critic. Basically, if it doesn’t have Shaun Micallef or Tony Martin in it, he hates it. So to have such a positive review is quite the honour.

    He actually reviewed our pilot episode, which in my opinion is probably the worst one. And to be honest, I reckon episode #5 is the second worst. But I can now say every episode from now on is a good one.

    In other news, I’m managing to white-ant my into other RMITV shows:

    Next stop, a little bit o’ good ole fashioned PR.

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    You know, if you remove the “e” and “l” from “Public relations”, you’re left with “Pubic rations”.

  • Life’s simple pleasures

    The search for happiness and meaning in life is not a new pursuit. But there are moments where you tend to ponder the big picture more than usual.

    I recently departed a full time job and moved into my own apartment, where I suddenly found myself with a lot of time for reflection.

    And I’ve realised the things that make me the happiest are all pretty simple.

    Forget about love, expensive holidays and a dream career! I’ve come up with a list of seven of life’s simple pleasures I believe are the key to happiness. Here they are in no particular order…

    1. Ice in a glass.

    My grandfather, who owned a pub, always said that ice is the cheapest thing you can put in a glass. And short of “absolutely nothing”, he’s right. Having recently purchased my first refrigerator, I’ve made sure there’s a ridiculously large stockpile of ice cubes in the freezer.

    Don’t you love that sound of the ice cracking as a fizzy beverage cascades into a glass? It’s a hypnotic ritual and it always puts a smile on my face.

    2. A hot shower.

    Even after the worst day, ten minutes under a steady stream of hot water can wash away the most awful stresses of the outside world. It’s our fortress of moistened solitude. I imagine Superman has a similar setup at the North Pole. No doubt insulated in some way from the ice.

    3. Carpet.

    Having lived in houses with floorboards for the last few years, it’s so nice to be able to walk barefoot around the house in soft fuzzy comfort again. Plus you can stretch out on the floor without bruising yourself. And it slows down the formation of dust bunnies.

    4. A seven-second hug.

    Hugs are great. But close contact with another human (or animal) for seven seconds or longer releases endorphins that make us feel fantastic. Get as much hug action as you can. Just make sure it’s consensual, because grabbing a stranger at a train station for seven seconds counts as assault.

    5. Sunshine.

    It’s warm. It’s free. And it’s always there. Just don’t stand it in unprotected for too long or stare directly at it. The same can be said for urine.

    6. Bricks.

    That’s right. Bricks. You see less bricks now than in days past. But nothing beats a solid double brick wall for sound-proofing and insulation. Plus you can nail a picture hanger anywhere you like without using a stud-finder.

    And there’s nothing like a bare brick wall on the INSIDE of a house to remind you no wolf is huffing and puffing his way in here. Especially those really dark bricks that are almost black. Oh yeah… that’s the stuff…

    And finally:

    7. Good health

    It seems it’s only when you’re sick that you appreciate just how great it is not to be. Sometimes we can’t control this one. So enjoy it while you can.

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    Budget pleasure-seeker.

  • 31 Questions Ep #04 with TV’s Pete Smith!

    Best ep yet.

    But of course, I would say that wouldn’t I?

    Thanks for the Twitter love, folks!

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    Pete Smith = Pure class.