Author: David M. Green

  • Such a tease, 31 Questions…

    That ought to get your mouth watering for my new TV game show. It’s our opening sketch with special guest, former host of Sale of the Century, TV’s Glenn Ridge! Also, you might want to grab a napkin.

    Yes! I can now officially announce 31 Questions (finally) will be taping its special second pilot on the evening of Wednesday June 29, 2011. This show will hopefully become episode 1 of our 13-episode first season.

    If you’ll be in the Melbourne area and are interested in joining our studio audience, you can get the details and RSVP to the event on Facebook. If you’re not on Facebook, what the hell are you doing?

    Alternatively, send an email to producer/director Simon Eastwood (simonpeter.eastwood@gmail.com).

    Space is limited, so if you really want in, RSVP early.

    And don’t forget to LIKE US ON FACEBOOK and SUBSCRIBE ON YOUTUBE for all the latest news, photos and video.

    Let’s ask 31 Questions!

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    Whoo!

  • Everybody needs good extras, Neighbours.

    Last week I made my network television “acting” debut on the iconic Australian soap opera “Neighbours”.

    It was a fun, if not surreal experience, even if it was just a background extra in the coffee shop, which to my surprise was renamed “Harold’s Store”. Apparently this happened some years ago, long after I stopped watching semi-regularly.

    On March 23 I drove out to the studios in Melbourne’s fabulous eastern suburb of Nunawading to join the ranks of famous Australian personalities such as Kylie Minogue, Guy Pierce, Russell Crowe, and that lanky Irish guy who’s name I don’t know, who all started with minor roles and bit parts on Neighbours.

    I particularly enjoyed seeing what REALLY happens in the Neighbours’ coffee shop; the steam machine to simulate making a coffee; ads for fictional Erinsborough businesses on the community notice board; plastic fruit and cans of food that not only expired in 2006, but are also glued to the shelves.

    This wasn’t the first time I’d “acted” as an extra. I do have experience at not looking at cameras and pretending to have conversations with people without actually making any sound, having extra-ed on an episode of “McLeod’s Daughters” a few years ago (a scene that was cut), and more recently on Seven’s “Winners & Losers” (I’ll blog about that one in a few weeks!).

    Obviously TV shows take a while to edit, and I neglected to ask what episode number they were filming. So to be honest, I completely forgot about the whole thing until an old high school friend from Adelaide (who I hadn’t spoken to in about 5 years) spotted me floating around in the background on TV last week.

    Naturally I missed all of the broadcasts. But with the aid of online streaming technology, I was able to watch back last week’s shows and locate my three scenes.

    Because you’re obviously a busy man/woman, I’ll now present highlights from those scenes, showcasing my brilliant and subtle acting skills as a background extra:

    Episode 6167 – 24 May 2011

    Coincidentally, my first Neighbours appearance happened to go to air on my birthday. Cheers Ten Network!

    That’s me in the orange shirt (which is actually my shirt), pretending to shop at the cluttered single shelf at Harold’s Store. In reality I was just going through the stock and checking the expiration dates.

    It was quite a bizarre combination of perishables. Pasta sauce and wasabi peas in the same display basket? I can’t imagine a real shop organising their produce in such a higgledy piggledy fashion. Harold wouldn’t last ten minutes in the cut-throat real world of small business ownership.

    From this angle it looks like I’m leaning on Scott McGregor’s muscular shoulder:

    Episode 6169 – 26 May 2011

    Two days later I was back to steal a newspaper:

    Much to the production team’s credit, that’s not just an old copy of the Herald Sun with “Erinsborough Star” pasted on the cover. They’ve actually gone to the effort to make real newspapers, complete with fictional stories about various local characters, written in the proper hard news reverse pyramid style!

    I had a chance to read a couple of articles while we did a few takes.

    Note also two other extras have returned to Harold’s Store, having swapped tables this time:

    Episode 6170 – 27 May 2011

    The very next day, I was back at Harold’s Store! I really think the audience was starting to become familiar with my character’s newspaper-reading, coffee-drinking, general loitering in the background kinda style.

    And this time I seem to just hang out there for the whole day:

    One of the best things about being an extra in the coffee shop was the free food! They actually have a real kitchen on site, and the production team routinely brings out real food and beverages for the extras to snack on during the scene.

    In the above scene I’m drinking a latte. After an initial sip I realised they’d forgotten the sugar. I noticed there was some sugar on the table. However, when I went to tip some into my glass, the sugar remained stuck, fused to the bottom of the jar.

    One of the cast actors offered me some advice, “Uh, I wouldn’t eat that if I were you.” It had obviously been there for YEARS.

    They gave me a delicious danish as well. Some of the other extras had sandwiches. One guy even had a hamburger with chips. It was a pretty sweet deal – getting paid to sit there silently and eat – especially considering I skipped breakfast that morning.

    Here I am eating a cupcake:

    These coffee shop scenes appeared throughout the episode. And I’m in every one of them. I’m guessing my character doesn’t have anywhere else to be.

    Towards the end of the episode the lighting on the other side of the front window was dimmed to indicate night time “outside”.

    I grabbed one more coffee for the road, as veteran Neighbours resident Paul Robinson (Stefan Dennis) chats with Kate Ramsay (Ashleigh Brewer) in the foreground:

    And with my take away coffee, which in reality was just an empty cup, I departed Harold’s Store – and Erinsborough – probably forever.

    That’s my striped shirt on the other side of the door:

    Now to launch my singing career!

    You’ll be able to watch these episodes online in their entirety for a few more days, if you want a less static, but more drawn-out experience.

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    Did you hear Madge died?

  • Idiots & apostrophes

    I couldn’t believe the above typo when I saw it. On a poster for the  new Channel Nine TV series In Their Footsteps, they make one of the simplest mistakes in the English language… They forget the apostrophe. Our “NATIONS” heroes?

    Unfortunately, those posters are on bus shelters, tram stops and train stations all over Melbourne, and presumably, the rest of the country as well. How did that one get through the proof-readers? Unbelievable.

    Do you think those brave diggers were battling in the trenches, knee-deep in crimson mud, so that we could all prance about back home making up our own God damn grammatical rules as we go along?!? I DON’T THINK SO!

    Could be worse. They could have called the show “In There Footsteps” – one path that I hope we do not follow.

    What isn’t to understand about the apostrophe?

    If people aren’t leaving them out, they’re sticking them where they don’t belong, like the “well-educated” folks at Burnside Village. This snap was taken in Adelaide by my good friend Tim Wray:

    Obviously a grasp of proper apostrophe use isn’t one of Burnside Village’s “Must have’s” this Mother’s Day.

    I’m not 100% on “Mother’s Day” either. Really, shouldn’t it be “Mothers’ Day”, as it’s a day for ALL mothers, not just one?

    Let’s run through the basics.

    Plurals do not require apostrophes!

    The only exception to this rule is when to not use an apostrophe would create more confusion. For example, to write “Cross the t’s and dot the i’s” is more appropriate than “Cross the ts and dot the is”. Both versions however, are more appropriate than “Cross the i’s and dot the t’s”, but that’s another issue.

    We use apostrophes to imply ownership. For example, “this is David’s apostrophe”. If we’re talking about a collective ownership, such as a group of people, we would say: “the mouth-breathers’ grammatical skills need some work”.

    Lastly, we use apostrophes to indicate missing letter(s). For example, “they are” can be contracted to “they’re” with the help of our old friend, the apostrophe.

    Don’t have time to take the omnibus to the supermarket? Take the ‘bus instead!

    Now do as I do and go out there and use this knowledge of apostrophes to make yourself feel like a big man!

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    Two apostrophes in every garage.

  • 31 Questions is back on track BABY!

    I used to watch “Sale of the Century” religiously when I was a kid, growing up in the early to mid-90s pre-Internet world. So it was a small dream fulfilled to not only meet former host Glenn Ridge, but to also film a sketch with him!

    It’s been quite some time since my last update on the progress of my RMITV Student Television game show production for Channel 31: “31 Questions”.

    The last piece of news I shared was when Channel 31 reviewed our pilot and said they wanted us to make another one. We were planning on filming a second pilot in late March, which would then allow us to go ahead with a 13-episode season.

    Unfortunately, it didn’t go as smoothly as we would have hoped. We weren’t allowed to shoot our second pilot and for a while there our whole show had actually been canceled by RMITV. I don’t think it’s appropriate for me to go into the details, but I’m sure it will all come out years from now when someone decides to write a book on the history of RMITV… And when that happens I’ll be all too happy to provide insight.

    But anyway, the important thing is that after two months of production gridlock, we’ve finally been allowed to film our second pilot. And we kicked it off in style, by filming a sketch with TV legend Glenn Ridge!

    The shoot could not have gone better. Glenn very kindly donated his time and his production company office (Q Media) in Port Melbourne. Great guy and a total pro. An absolute pleasure to work with.

    We’ll have that sketch online soon. So make sure to SUBSCRIBE TO 31 QUESTIONS ON YOUTUBE and LIKE 31 QUESTIONS ON FACEBOOK to get all the latest notifications.

    This is hopefully going to be a recurring theme – tracking down notable past and present TV game show hosts and getting them to make cameo sketch appearances.

    TV’s John Burgess of “Wheel of Fortune” and “Burgo’s Catch Phrase” fame has said he’s up for it. Unfortunately though, he lives on the Gold Coast… so we’re not quite sure how we’re going to film it… You can always help out by throwing us a bone? There’s a donate button on the left side of my website.

    We haven’t got a studio date yet to film pilot #2, which will hopefully be episode #1 of a 13-episode first season. But we’re aiming to do it within the next month. Stay tuned.

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    31 Questions
    Host – Writer – Producer

  • Who’s this twit?

    Well what d’ya know? I did it again!

    Slightly less witty than my debut Q&A re-tweet on March 7:

    But a thrill all the same!

    Last night’s episode of ABC TV’s “Q&A” was broadcast live from Albury-Wodonga (obviously they weren’t in both towns. I forget which one they were in. But it was certainly one of them).

    The main theme of the evening was rural Australia. Not having much to contribute to that discussion, it was more a coincidence that my love of high speed rail would also be beneficial to “rural folk”.

    There’s also the possibility someone at the ABC “Twitter Desk” has their own high speed rail agenda, with fellow RMIT journalism student Emma Buckley Lennox having her fast locomotion-themed tweet broadcast as well:

    I am jealous her tweet appeared beneath Tony Windsor. I do love that man.

    I didn’t get much response after my tweet this time. I’m guessing that’s because Osama Bin Laden was providing a distraction from regular current affairs viewers, and probably also because the theme of last night’s Q&A was “rural Australia”, which, let’s face it, probably doesn’t rate high on the typical Australian’s care meter.

    No doubt these two factors contributed to below average TV ratings. I also noticed the “#qanda” hash-tag wasn’t “trending” last night either. Case closed!

    Until next time.

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    Resident twit.