Author: David M. Green

  • Panelling it like it is.

    I’m proud to announce I’m back in the panel-operators’ club! I now work at Melbourne Talk Radio MTR1377!

    It’s been a long time since my last paid panel-operator gig at Adelaide’s SAFM ended with me being replaced by a computer.

    That was August 2008. I was young and inexperienced. And it was in that brief period after the job cuts of the global financial crisis but before the increased opportunities that came from digital radio. But hey, that’s all water under the burnt bridge… ๐Ÿ˜‰

    So it’s only taken 3 years, a Graduate Diploma of Journalism, a move to Melbourne, and 76 job applications since October (not even joking), but I’ve finally found another job in radio.

    So far I’m enjoying working at MTR. Everyone I’ve met has been fantastic. There’s a strong news culture. And it’s no secret I’m a fan of talk back radio (See On The Yacht).

    I’ll be working on a casual and fill-in basis for now, which suits me perfectly, as that will allow me to work on my Channel 31 game show 31 Questions over the next few months. A big thank you to MTR operations manager Jason Taylor.

    I’m particularly enjoying the idea of working in the same building as Steve Vizard and my childhood TV hero, Glenn Ridge! Actually, it’s kinda strange having filmed that sketch with Glenn just last month, and now I’m seeing him every Saturday night when I arrive at MTR just as he leaves.

    So tune in to 1377AM if you’re in the Melbourne area, or listen online. You just might hear the audible results of me pressing buttons and moving faders.

    I’ll leave you now with a tune that sums up this moment perfectly, from a fellow panel-operator by the name of Radio’s Sam Mac…

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    Back on the buttons!

  • Lights, Camera, Maction! Ep #5 (TV’s “Bondi Vet”)

    Horah! It’s episode 5 of Sam Mac’s “Lights, Camera, Maction!” guest starring Dr Chris Brown (AKA The Bondi Vet – who turns out to be a pretty good actor), as well as myself and the delightful and clearly gullible Minky Cooper for another escapade into stuff girls like.

    This time we have a slumber party… Enjoy!

    And once again, cheers to Simon Eastwood behind the camera.

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    Gotta love that robe.

  • Such a tease, 31 Questions…

    That ought to get your mouth watering for my new TV game show. It’s our opening sketch with special guest, former host of Sale of the Century, TV’s Glenn Ridge! Also, you might want to grab a napkin.

    Yes! I can now officially announce 31 Questions (finally) will be taping its special second pilot on the evening of Wednesday June 29, 2011. This show will hopefully become episode 1 of our 13-episode first season.

    If you’ll be in the Melbourne area and are interested in joining our studio audience, you can get the details and RSVP to the event on Facebook. If you’re not on Facebook, what the hell are you doing?

    Alternatively, send an email to producer/director Simon Eastwood (simonpeter.eastwood@gmail.com).

    Space is limited, so if you really want in, RSVP early.

    And don’t forget to LIKE US ON FACEBOOK and SUBSCRIBE ON YOUTUBE for all the latest news, photos and video.

    Let’s ask 31 Questions!

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    Whoo!

  • Everybody needs good extras, Neighbours.

    Last week I made my network television “acting” debut on the iconic Australian soap opera “Neighbours”.

    It was a fun, if not surreal experience, even if it was just a background extra in the coffee shop, which to my surprise was renamed “Harold’s Store”. Apparently this happened some years ago, long after I stopped watching semi-regularly.

    On March 23 I drove out to the studios in Melbourne’s fabulous eastern suburb of Nunawading to join the ranks of famous Australian personalities such as Kylie Minogue, Guy Pierce, Russell Crowe, and that lanky Irish guy who’s name I don’t know, who all started with minor roles and bit parts on Neighbours.

    I particularly enjoyed seeing what REALLY happens in the Neighbours’ coffee shop; the steam machine to simulate making a coffee; ads for fictional Erinsborough businesses on the community notice board; plastic fruit and cans of food that not only expired in 2006, but are also glued to the shelves.

    This wasn’t the first time I’d “acted” as an extra. I do have experience at not looking at cameras and pretending to have conversations with people without actually making any sound, having extra-ed on an episode of “McLeod’s Daughters” a few years ago (a scene that was cut), and more recently on Seven’s “Winners & Losers” (I’ll blog about that one in a few weeks!).

    Obviously TV shows take a while to edit, and I neglected to ask what episode number they were filming. So to be honest, I completely forgot about the whole thing until an old high school friend from Adelaide (who I hadn’t spoken to in about 5 years) spotted me floating around in the background on TV last week.

    Naturally I missed all of the broadcasts. But with the aid of online streaming technology, I was able to watch back last week’s shows and locate my three scenes.

    Because you’re obviously a busy man/woman, I’ll now present highlights from those scenes, showcasing my brilliant and subtle acting skills as a background extra:

    Episode 6167 – 24 May 2011

    Coincidentally, my first Neighbours appearance happened to go to air on my birthday. Cheers Ten Network!

    That’s me in the orange shirt (which is actually my shirt), pretending to shop at the cluttered single shelf at Harold’s Store. In reality I was just going through the stock and checking the expiration dates.

    It was quite a bizarre combination of perishables. Pasta sauce and wasabi peas in the same display basket? I can’t imagine a real shop organising their produce in such a higgledy piggledy fashion. Harold wouldn’t last ten minutes in the cut-throat real world of small business ownership.

    From this angle it looks like I’m leaning on Scott McGregor’s muscular shoulder:

    Episode 6169 – 26 May 2011

    Two days later I was back to steal a newspaper:

    Much to the production team’s credit, that’s not just an old copy of the Herald Sun with “Erinsborough Star” pasted on the cover. They’ve actually gone to the effort to make real newspapers, complete with fictional stories about various local characters, written in the proper hard news reverse pyramid style!

    I had a chance to read a couple of articles while we did a few takes.

    Note also two other extras have returned to Harold’s Store, having swapped tables this time:

    Episode 6170 – 27 May 2011

    The very next day, I was back at Harold’s Store! I really think the audience was starting to become familiar with my character’s newspaper-reading, coffee-drinking, general loitering in the background kinda style.

    And this time I seem to just hang out there for the whole day:

    One of the best things about being an extra in the coffee shop was the free food! They actually have a real kitchen on site, and the production team routinely brings out real food and beverages for the extras to snack on during the scene.

    In the above scene I’m drinking a latte. After an initial sip I realised they’d forgotten the sugar. I noticed there was some sugar on the table. However, when I went to tip some into my glass, the sugar remained stuck, fused to the bottom of the jar.

    One of the cast actors offered me some advice, “Uh, I wouldn’t eat that if I were you.” It had obviously been there for YEARS.

    They gave me a delicious danish as well. Some of the other extras had sandwiches. One guy even had a hamburger with chips. It was a pretty sweet deal – getting paid to sit there silently and eat – especially considering I skipped breakfast that morning.

    Here I am eating a cupcake:

    These coffee shop scenes appeared throughout the episode. And I’m in every one of them. I’m guessing my character doesn’t have anywhere else to be.

    Towards the end of the episode the lighting on the other side of the front window was dimmed to indicate night time “outside”.

    I grabbed one more coffee for the road, as veteran Neighbours resident Paul Robinson (Stefan Dennis) chats with Kate Ramsay (Ashleigh Brewer) in the foreground:

    And with my take away coffee, which in reality was just an empty cup, I departed Harold’s Store – and Erinsborough – probably forever.

    That’s my striped shirt on the other side of the door:

    Now to launch my singing career!

    You’ll be able to watch these episodes online in their entirety for a few more days, if you want a less static, but more drawn-out experience.

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    Did you hear Madge died?

  • Idiots & apostrophes

    I couldn’t believe the above typo when I saw it. On a poster for theย  new Channel Nine TV series In Their Footsteps, they make one of the simplest mistakes in the English language… They forget the apostrophe. Our “NATIONS” heroes?

    Unfortunately, those posters are on bus shelters, tram stops and train stations all over Melbourne, and presumably, the rest of the country as well. How did that one get through the proof-readers? Unbelievable.

    Do you think those brave diggers were battling in the trenches, knee-deep in crimson mud, so that we could all prance about back home making up our own God damn grammatical rules as we go along?!? I DON’T THINK SO!

    Could be worse. They could have called the show “In There Footsteps” – one path that I hope we do not follow.

    What isn’t to understand about the apostrophe?

    If people aren’t leaving them out, they’re sticking them where they don’t belong, like the “well-educated” folks at Burnside Village. This snap was taken in Adelaide by my good friend Tim Wray:

    Obviously a grasp of proper apostrophe use isn’t one of Burnside Village’s “Must have’s” this Mother’s Day.

    I’m not 100% on “Mother’s Day” either. Really, shouldn’t it be “Mothers’ Day”, as it’s a day for ALL mothers, not just one?

    Let’s run through the basics.

    Plurals do not require apostrophes!

    The only exception to this rule is when to not use an apostrophe would create more confusion. For example, to write “Cross the t’s and dot the i’s” is more appropriate than “Cross the ts and dot the is”. Both versions however, are more appropriate than “Cross the i’s and dot the t’s”, but that’s another issue.

    We use apostrophes to imply ownership. For example, “this is David’s apostrophe”. If we’re talking about a collective ownership, such as a group of people, we would say: “the mouth-breathers’ grammatical skills need some work”.

    Lastly, we use apostrophes to indicate missing letter(s). For example, “they are” can be contracted to “they’re” with the help of our old friend, the apostrophe.

    Don’t have time to take the omnibus to the supermarket? Take the ‘bus instead!

    Now do as I do and go out there and use this knowledge of apostrophes to make yourself feel like a big man!

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    Two apostrophes in every garage.