Author: David M. Green

  • Norman Vine on Barry Radio’s “Bad Blokes”

    Ohohohohohoooooooo YEEEESSSSSS!

    Norman Vine is BACK!

    Tune into Bad Blokes on Barry Radio with my good friends Jack Ellis, Luke “Plugga” Harding and Alex Williamson.

    If you’re in Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Adelaide or Perth, you can tune in on your digital radio, or else listen online at the following times (Australian Eastern Daylight Time, GMT +11):

    Monday – 8AM
    Wednesday – 4PM
    Thursday – 10PM
    Friday – 11AM
    Saturday – 8AM/4PM/10PM
    Sunday – 4AM/11AM/5PM

    I think the guys really mesh well with each other on the air. It’s mostly just laid back chat, but quite dense with gags. They also do the odd sketch here and there.

    And of course, a new segment called “The Finer Things” with my alter-ego, eccentric billionaire and notorious ladies man, Norman Vine, which explores life’s finer things and adds a touch of class to the digital radio spectrum. This week we talk about yachting and dressing gowns. That’s right.

    A big thanks to the good blokes from Bad Blokes for having me on their show. It’s an absolute pleasure and hopefully they’ll have me on a few more times before they get sick of me!

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    I’ll get back to you, Barry.

  • The Twitter Holy Grail: Retweeted by Q&A!

    I couldn’t believe it.

    Last night was the first time I’d twittered along to ABC TV’s political discussion programme “Q&A” and my second ever use of the #qanda hash-tag was put on TV!

    They were talking about the Tea Party movement in the United States, and whether that sort of movement would ever happen in Australia.

    My first tweet was: “I think someone needs a tea bag”. But then I thought of a better pun I had a feeling would be right up the ABC’s alley…

    I’m not entirely sure how they decide which tweets to put on TV. I figure there’s probably one guy who scans the twitter feed and somehow transfers the relevant/funny ones. I’ve heard the show gets tens of thousands of tweets during the hour, so I was quite surprised and very honoured to have achieved the Twitter “Holy Grail” of every comedian and journalist alike, especially on what was essentially my first attempt.

    Within seconds I had about 10 replies on Facebook and Twitter, including one from The Sydney Morning Herald’s Glenda Kwek:

    curious_scribe yes, @david_m_green, a #greenteaparty sounds good. Healthy bowels for all! #qanda

    And I liked this one too from my Internet friend in Townsville:

    Pantomime_Horse Perhaps they’ll hire Hugh Jackman to do the advertisements for a Green Tea Party. #qanda RT @David_M_Green How about a Green Tea Party?

    Several of my friends in Melbourne and Adelaide inform me they gasped in amazement when they saw my name on TV, as did my cousin Laura in Canberra, who apparently nearly fell of her chair. Even one of my RMIT journalism lecturers, Alex Wake, who was watching from the Solomon Islands, allegedly “laughed and laughed”.

    Hehehehe… *sigh*… Can I have a job now?

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    As seen beneath Gail Kelly

  • Lights Camera Maction! Ep 1

    Check out TV & Radio’s Sam Mac’s new webseries “Lights Camera Maction”, as it makes its glorious Internet debut!

    Episode #1 guest stars TV’s Peter Helliar. And more importantly… ME! In a regular segment called “Stuff Girls Like”. It’s essentially just an excuse to be sexist, an opportunity that I rarely turn down. I’ll be alternating this segment with Alex Williamson, so he’ll be telling us about “stuff girls like” next time.

    Follow and “like” Lights Camera Maction on Facebook here.

    Special thanks to the lovely Minky Cooper for helping me out with some lipstick pointers, as well as Simon Eastwood for his amazing camera and competent operation.

    You’d never know that 37 second sketch took us about 4 hours to film. Getting the footage of the fire truck was the tricky part. We wandered around Melbourne looking for a fire station that was actually where Google Maps said it was, and when we finally found a fire station, there was no fire truck! We had to stake it out. Simon’s working on a short “making of” video, which will hopefully be online soon.

    Already working on the next one!

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    How could I not like a show with Devo’s “That’s Good” as it’s theme song?

  • C31 Melbourne approves 31 Questions for second pilot!

    The title says it all!

    Fellow 31 Questions producer Simon Eastwood, as well as RMITV Student Television general manager Eliza Beck and I met with C31’s Kirk Goodsell yesterday to discuss our TV game show.

    The meeting went about as well as we could have hoped. Channel 31 seemed to love the show. So much so that they’ve given us the rare opportunity to actually re-film our pilot episode because, as we all agreed, the concept is strong, but our execution can be better.

    We were provided with excellent feedback from C31. It’s always refreshing to receiving constructive criticism, as opposed to just criticism.

    So I’m happy to announce that we’ll be filming a new pilot in late March. I’ll return as host, with the lovely Minky Cooper as the show’s scorekeeper. And joining us this time at the moderator’s desk will be the resplendent Alasdair Tremblay-Birchall, as Lachlan’s movin’ to Colac to actually make use of his journalism degree. We wish him all the best.

    We’ve got a re-designed set in the works and a long list of lessons we learnt from the pilot. I personally can’t wait to prove we can do better.

    Assuming the pilot redux goes well, there shouldn’t be anything preventing C31 from approving us for a season starting in June and running through to the end of August.

    Hopefully, we’ll one day hoist our logo somewhere on the C31 Hall of Fame – if there is such a thing – next to past stand out shows as: “Chartbusting 80s”, “Hotdog with the Lot” and C31’s infamous “Overnight Fishtank”, which I can only assume was the same one in their waiting room:

    Also, while I’ve got your attention, we’ll be needing some contestants for the new pilot, and the eventual series. That’s where YOU come in!

    This was recently sent to all RMITV Student Television members (you should totally sign up, by the way):

    Hey! Are you under 30? Do you like trivia? Wanna be on the TV?!? THEN READ
    THIS!

    “31 Questions” is a brand new game show produced by RMITV coming soon to Channel 31 Melbourne. And we need contestants!

    Hosted by TV’s David M. Green and assisted by the glamorous Minky Cooper, with Alasdair Tremblay-Birchall as the show’s moderator, “31 Questions” gives ordinary people a chance to prove their trivial superiority.

    So if you’ve got a knack for general knowledge and pop culture, and used to watch shows like “Sale of the Century” and “Vidiot” in the mid 90s, all the while wishing that was YOU answering those questions, now’s your chance to live the dream!

    You could even win some fabulous* prizes…

    If you’d like to be a contestant, contact our lovely producer, Simon Eastwood – simonpeter.eastwood@gmail.com

    Make sure to include your name, gender, age, email address and mobile number, as well as any previous television experience (no experience necessary).

    31 Questions. The people’s quiz show.

    *Prize fabulousness subject to personal opinion.

    Now… we have a lot to organise…

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    Keep checking back for the latest 31Q news, or better yet, follow me on Twitter or Facebook!

  • One year in Melbourne!

    It’s one year to the day since I moved to Melbourne!

    February 13 2010. The day I cast off the dead-end one-horse town of Adelaide and flew to Melbourne to chase the show biz dream. What a year.

    I’ve done things I couldn’t dream of doing in Adelaide. The move remains, probably forever, one of my top 5 life decisions.

    They weren’t all good times. Moving cities is very hard. And my first month in Melbourne was terrible. For anyone who’s been through it, I’m sure you can relate to this:

    The above photo pretty much sums up the memory of my first few weeks in Melbourne. No family. No friends. No idea where anything was. No Internet. A shithouse sharehouse in Altona (which incidentally, has since been demolished). No idea how I was going to cope with journalism and a new casual job at a cinema that should have been great, but was made unnecessarily stressful by the boss, who was, and remains (probably forever), a complete arse hole.

    At one point, I think on my second shift there, he took me aside and said, “I don’t know how people do things in Adelaide, but this is Melbourne.” What a dick.

    But somehow I got through all that crap and 2010 turned out to present a bevy of experiences.

    I was hired and fired, I met new friends and fell out with them, got drunk, danced the night away, encountered people I’d only ever seen on TV, became a professional writer, hosted a television show, was rejected in a variety of contexts more times than I can recall, explored the suburbs, rode the rails, once walked from Flinders Street to Bell Street, was in a car accident, and learnt a whole lot of important life lessons, the grit of which I won’t go into here.

    As for the highlights, here’s a few photos that sum up the best of my first year in Melbourne…

    5. Interview #2 with Shaun Micallef

    It’s always an incredible honour to speak to my childhood hero and partial inspiration for moving to Melbourne. Those photos got me many an envious comment of praise. And I made sure to put the worst one on Shaun’s Wikipedia page, which for some reason, is still there. You can read my full interview with Shaun Micallef here… well, not “here”. Just over there, where the hyperlink is.

    4. Nightlife

    I never really “went out” in Adelaide. Melbourne 2010 was an awakening for my social life. Dancing to ’80s music at Trades Hall. Birthday parties at strange bars in strange suburbs I’d never heard of before. And unimaginable fun.

    For the most part of my first year in Melbourne, I didn’t have a car, and often found myself tagging along with strangers at 2 o’clock in the morning. I’ve had some very interesting conversations with taxi drivers, some of whom seemed to know less about Melbourne than I did.

    And I learnt a very important lesson about where my “limit” is. I haven’t been able to drink Carlton Draught since. Probably a good thing really.

    3. RMIT

    It was the catalyst for moving to Melbourne. I was accepted into the prestigious Graduate Diploma of Journalism at RMIT University, which I completed with distinction.

    It wasn’t just about the journalism. Radio, TV, writing, presenting, editing, dealing with people. I learnt so much in 2010. Universities aren’t just “degree factories”. I certainly grew as a person. I felt I grew more in my one year of journalism than I did in my three years of Behaviour Science at Flinders.

    One of the other benefits was the friendships. And I was invited into my fair share of beds…

    2. Television City

    The photo above has been by desktop background pretty much since November 25, 2010, when we shot the pilot for “31 Questions”, my community TV game show. THIS was why I moved to Melbourne. I want a career in television. I’m certainly on my way.

    Using “Studio A” at RMIT University city campus on fabulous Swanston Street, myself and a long list of volunteers filmed the first episode of “31 Questions”. We were under-time by 8 minutes. A bit of a shambles. But we got there in the end.

    At present we’ve been approved by RMITV Student Television for a series, pending approval from Channel 31 Melbourne. I’m very much looking forward to making 13 new episodes this year. Here’s hoping!

    1. Team Bell Street

    That’s right. “Team Bell Street”. After my horror share house experience in Altona, I frantically searched for somewhere else to live. After a long list of rejections, I eventually checked out a house at the end of the Number 1 tram line to East Coburg. Right on Bell Street.

    It was a little further out from the city than I wanted, but when Steph and Virginia offered me the room, I couldn’t refuse. It’s been almost a year since I moved in. A few people have come and gone – two German exchange students, Waldo and Toby. And after a couple of months, Kolinda moved in.

    I gotta say, I am very lucky to have found this place. I didn’t know any of them. They let me move in with them based purely on a brief meeting in their kitchen.

    I sometimes take them for granted, but together we’ve had a lot of laughs and I’ve always been able to count on Team Bell Street to cheer me up when I’m feeling down.

    They’re a good bunch. And Team Bell Street had a major role in me being able to claim Melbourne as my home.

    So as I raise a Farmer’s Union Iced Coffee, I say I couldn’t have asked for a better first year in Melbourne… Well, actually of course I could have… but it’ll do. And here’s to many, many more.

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    Melburnian