David M. Green: Purveyor of fine humour

Category: Adelaide

  • 2013 A.D(MG)

    It’s the end of another year this year. And what an end of a year it’s been. Also, the rest of the year was eventful.

    I started 2013 with no regular work and by March I’d run out of money. Well, I say “run out of money”, but I mean it in the first world sense. I got down to my last $9 in the bank, but I still had a car and other things of tangible value, etc. But it was still pretty stressful.

    At one point, I applied for a job as a school crossing guard with the Boroondara Council. It was basically this scene from the 1985 motion picture “Lost in America” starring Albert Brooks:

    I wasn’t successful.

    But I did do this for $150:

    Salvation came with the AFL Season and my return to Crocmedia to panel their fabulous “AFL Live” football commentary to 100 radio stations around Australia. Best radio job I’ve had.

    [Sports writing mode begins]

    The most memorable moment was the Adelaide v. North Melbourne game, Round 9 at Etihad Stadium. The Kangaroos had lead for the entire game, only to have the Crows kick 5 unanswered goals in the final quarter, culminating in an Adelaide goal with only 15 seconds left to give my home town a miracle 1-point victory. It was a fairy tale ending. I’ve never heard Rex Hunt call anything as intense as that.

    You can listen to the highlights package I edited during the game here.

    I don’t leap out of that panel operator’s chair onto my feet very often, but that was one of those moments.

    [Sports writing mode ends]

    After the AFL season finished, I started some weekend panelling at 1116SEN, using the ole MTR studios in Richmond. So finally, that move from Coburg to Hawthorn to be closer to work (2 days before MTR shut down) has actually paid off. Only took 18 months.

    And actually, since I moved in July from the eastern side of Hawthorn to the western side, a stone’s throw from Richmond, I’m close enough to WALK to work in about 15 minutes. The route takes me down Bendigo Street past the old GTV Channel 9 studios, now luxury apartments. To use my favourite cliched broadcasting expression, it’s “absolutely sensational”.

    Please enjoy this guided tour of my new place:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8T2pT_bdvAU

    It’s much better than the last apartment. Cheaper. More space. Laundry taps and an exhaust fan in the bathroom (as mentioned). And the insulation is excellent. That 40 degree day in Melbourne the other week? Barely noticed it. Place doesn’t even have air conditioning. The insulation alone is just so effective.

    2013 has been another year of media delights. In addition to 20 throw-away episodes of my “need an excuse to upload something” vlog series “Life of DMG” (as seen above), I also made a few videos with TV’s Shane Crawford for his website. I was basically Richter to his O’Brien. Shaffer to his Letterman. And to a lesser extent, robot skeleton to his Ferguson. Though I can’t seem to find those videos online any more, you can see part of one in my most recent showreel, where I took one for the team:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F8Y9CBJ_BZs

    31 Questions – The TV game show all the kids are listening about – returned for its second season. We shot 9 episodes, 7 of which were broadcast-able. They aired on community TV stations in Melbourne, Sydney, Brisbane, Perth and New Zealand. And will soon air in Adelaide after they finish repeating the first season.

    Season 2 was a step up in many respects. Better graphics, better editing, a flashier scoreboard, more defined characters and some minor touches here and there. Although it wasn’t quite the step up in lighting and audio that we had hoped.

    There are always challenges and setbacks when you’re making a television show. We had to make do with reduced studio time, simultaneously throughout the production my parents back in Adelaide were splitting up after 29 years of marriage, and worst of all I had a really bad haircut 2 weeks before we started taping.

    But we had some good crowds towards the end and the laughs were there. And what our crew managed to do with those limited resources was quite impressive. Not bad for $4,000?

    This is my favourite episode. It was the Season 2 premier, but it was actually the last episode we shot:

    And in case you missed the memos, 31 Questions is indeed coming back for a third season. We raised $3,262 with our recent crowdfunding campaign and we’re back in the fabulous RMIT University televisual studio from late February.

    This will be the big one. So stay posted if you want to come join the studio audience or BE ON THE SHOW.

    Back in Adelaide, after talking about it for years, my folks have finally sold the family home at Seacliff. I remember the day we moved in: 17 March 1992, just before my 5th birthday.

    It’s a great house. The big walls all around the outside got me quite used to privacy. Everywhere else I’ve lived has seemed quite exposed by comparison. And aside from 9 months in 2000, when the second storey appeared, I lived there 18 years until I left for Melbourne in 2010.

    It was still nice to return to my home town and stay in my old bedroom. But I don’t have that any more. And the SA jaunts haven’t quite been the same. This year in particular, going back to visit Adelaide has felt less and less like visiting home and more like seeing a jigsaw puzzle with pieces gradually being removed and replaced.

    Don’t get me wrong, I love Adelaide and there’s some exciting things going on at the moment. I’ve had many a conversation about local infrastructure projects with anyone who will listen. But it’s not where I want to be right now.

    Ahh I’ll miss that house… But it will live on in so many video projects, like this one:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4oQakmn_cAw

    That reminds me, we really should get around to editing those 3 other Too Easy episodes…

    So that’s about it for 2013. Well I did some other things. I went to Sydney for a bit. Bought a bookcase. Hosted a documentary series about webseries. Had a really nice sandwich, etc.

    But my big news for the new year is I’ll be a writer on the third season of “Shaun Micallef’s Mad As Hell” starting February 2014! Coincidentally, my first day writing is on the 13th, which is the four year anniversary of my move to Melbourne.

    How about that?

    Best move ever.

    Hope you’ve had a good year yourself and things are looking even better for 2014. I’ll see you on the other side.

    You can buy me a coffee.

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    No, I’m serious. Small cappuccino with one, please.

  • 31 Questions S2E06 & Sydney Funtimes

    31 Questions S2E06 aired on C31 Melbourne & Geelong on the 31st day of August. And there is it on glorious YouTube.

    I spent 4 days in Sydney last week. It was the first time in seven years I’d been somewhere that wasn’t Melbourne or Adelaide. And it was fantastic.

    I stayed in the seaside suburb of Sans Souci on the shores of Botany Bay (to my knowledge, the only bay named after a spaceship from Star Trek) with the lovely Barb Badham:

    She’s mother to my good friend and mentor Van Badham. Here’s a photo of her aged 14, which I discovered in a drawer that wasn’t locked in any serious kind of way:

    I forgot that I actually like Sydney. Last time I was there it was for New Year’s Eve 2006 when my Grandma treated the family to watch the fireworks on Sydney Harbour. An unforgettable experience. Back then, I returned to Adelaide via Melbourne. On that trip, I had a much better time in Sydney than Melbourne. To quote my 19-year-old self from my own diary:

    7 January 2007
    “I think I prefer Sydney to Melbourne. Watching this promotional video in the Rialto Tower really gave me the impression Melbourne is an arrogant city. It’s really just a bigger, more disorganised Adelaide.”

    It probably didn’t help I was travelling with my good friend John Timoney and by the time we got to Melbourne, we were well and truly sick of each other. While I’ve got my diaries out, here’s how I felt about Melbourne when I was there again 18 months later:

    12 July 2008
    “Melbourne is great. I can see myself living here more than I could last time.”

    Quite a turn around! And since then, the only news I ever hear about Sydney is to do with traffic congestion, high cost of living and racist electorates in the western suburbs. But I always have a great time when I’m there (I don’t drive and I stay away from the western suburbs).

    Highlights of this Sydney trip include meeting Mark Humphries from ABC2’s “The Roast” at Pizza Hut. We talked comedy and TV and such for 5 hours straight. Didn’t even take a photo with him. But he’s pretty good in this:

    I also caught the train to the Petersham TAFE to be interviewed by Sean Campbell for his “The Sean Campbell Show” on XRLENT Radio. Good guy. We talked about 31 Questions, TVS, RMITV, radio and Adelaide. Here’s the video of our chat:

    On Thursday, after one and a half cancellations, I finally caught up with my old radio pal Matty B at the Queen Victoria Building (or MB at the QVB). Hadn’t seen him in 3 years. Again no photo, but we did do this once:

    [display_podcast]

    And now for the strangest experience of my trip…

    On Thursday night, to coincide with the broadcast of S2E04 on TVS, I journeyed to Ultimo (a couple of streets back from the headquarters of the Australian Broadcasting Corporation), home to the infamous “Ultimo Bachelor Pad” – the self proclaimed (and probably rightly so) biggest 31 Questions fans in, if not Sydney, then the world.

    Now, they are some REAL fans…

    To illustrate:

    Dear God. We must be doing something right with 31 Questions?

    Thanks again to Mike, James, Zoe, Nathan, Mel and (via Skype from Europe) Daniel for a magnificent dinner and cake, as well as their ridiculous amount of support they continue to give to me and the rest of the 31 Questions team. Fans in other cities, you’ve got your work cut out for you if you plan on topping that.

    I’m now safely back in Melbourne. And it’s back to the hyper-reality that is my life.

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    PS. 31 Questions debuts on Face Television New Zealand this Thursday 9.30PM.

  • 31 Questions season finale for Adelaide and Perth this week

    Due to a mix up in Western Australia, Adelaide has somehow overtaken Perth and will be the first non-Melbourne city to to see the season finale of 31 Questions! How AMAZING is that!?!

    Episode 13 of the low budget TV game show all the critics are ignoring was supposed to air on WTV Perth last Saturday, but they made a last minute schedule change. Perth fans can now catch the last episode of season 1 THIS coming Saturday, 24 November 11.30PM (that’s digital channel 44). So scratch that in your fridge.

    Adelaide, on the other hand, can watch it first TONIGHT 10.30PM on 44 Adelaide. By gum, that’s only 90 minutes from now!

    Left this blog entry a little late…

    I was back in Adelaide a couple of weeks ago and did a bit of a radio station crawl. Just after midnight on Monday November 5, I stopped by FiveAA 1395AM to have a chat with Peter Godfrey. Technically, I was his lead guest for the week.

    We talked about 31 Questions (obviously), Adelaide versus Melbourne, community TV in general, and some other things that probably aren’t that important. Have a listen here:

    [display_podcast]

    Incredibly, Peter Godfrey does that midnight to 6am shift all by himself. No panel operator. And no producer! He screens all the calls himself. Incredible. An absolute pro.

    At one point I left the studio to grab a glass of water and take another selfie photo of me in front of the sign and I actually got lost. That FiveAA office is a maze. Ing.

    Now for most media whores, that would be enough for the night, but not me. No sir. When it comes to radio, I just can’t quit.

    So I hopped in the car (Dad’s), and drove from Hindmarsh Square to fabulous 228 North Terrace for a pre-recorded interview with John Murch at Radio Adelaide 101.5FM. It was about 3AM by the time I left. Not sure when that interview will air. I guess just listen out for RadioNotes on a Sunday night.

    Oh, while I’m here, just one more thing. Back in 2007 I won an “Bilby” award for “Best Station ID” at the 2007 South Australian Community Broadcasting Association Awards. It was on display in the Radio Adelaide foyer when I was last there in 2009. But it ain’t there now!

    In fact, there’s a space where it should be. There’s awards from 1985 all the way up to 2006. Then the awards just jump to 2008!

    So if anyone’s seen it, I’d be very interested to know its current whereabouts. To my knowledge there was only one copy.

    And I couldn’t imagine there’d be any single past or present Radio Adelaide station volunteer who would want to see harm come to a physical representation of my talent…

    Ha, but seriously… I want that award back.

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    Are Bilbys rare or something?

  • Tips for Citizen Journalists… with Chelsea.

    This is a radio sketch I made for SYN a couple of years ago, using clips from ACTUAL news bulletins broadcast on Adelaide’s Fresh 92.7FM circa December 2008 – January 2009.

    At the insistence of my good friend Van Badham, I knocked up this visual version using stock footage from some American educational film about the 1956 Interstate Highways Act.

    If you know anything about news or journalism, you should enjoy this.

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    Chelsea, you’ve done it again!

  • Adelaide in colour

    I’ve just returned from a 2 week chillaxment in Adelaide. Always a pleasure to visit my home town. Great to see the family and old friends, and boy, there’s nothing like that first glass of Adelaide water.

    The last 2 weeks in Adelaide were probably the best weather I’ve ever experienced. Bright blue skies and sunshine every single day. There’s a certain brightness and freshness that you don’t often get in Melbourne. No offense.

    I was back for Christmas. And the winner of “best present ever” goes to my thoughtful sister Hannah, who actually read the article I wrote on gifts for mX the other week. She got me this:

    Instead of something useless that’s just going to take up the limited space I have in my room in Melbourne, she made a donation to charity, which provided a piglet to a poor family in Laos. This is fantastic.

    This is what Christmas should be about. Giving things to people who really need it. I can’t remember the last time I reacted to a Christmas present with a genuine smile. Best present ever.

    Was also good to catch up with my brother Luke C. Green. He, along with my other sister Alice, have a rare degenerative condition called “hereditary spastic paraplegia”. But Luke’s making the most of it. His reduced mobility gives him an excuse to do what he really loves: play computer games.

    The whole thing is very hard on my parents. I really don’t know how they do it.

    And I was very, very happy to see Katie, the family Cardigan Corgi. She’s had some problems with her hips the last couple of years. Since I moved it’s apparently become worse. She doesn’t tend to move around the house much any more. But when I arrived she ran out to greet me. A rare honour these days, so I’m told.

    Caught up too with the talented Li’l Lisa Pellegrino. We go way back to those unsupervised days at Radio Adelaide 101.5FM circa 2007. In 2009 she moved to Darwin to do breakfast on Mix 104.9FM. She recently made the move to 105.7 ABC Darwin. Plus she also helped get me a job at the Palace Nova Cinema in Adelaide, so I still feel I owe her. She’s definitely one to watch.

    I notice the Adelaide Advertiser hasn’t changed. Just as appalling as ever. And they’re persisting with the same poorly designed reader poll graph, which I have previously mocked on this website:

    2 responses? Honestly, why don’t they just make it up? And the arrow points towards NO! This is the worst kind of ergonomics. When will they learn? The city really needs a second daily local newspaper.

    I spent a lot of time listening to my vast collection of 80s new wave records, which I dearly miss. Resolution for this year is to get them all over to Melbourne so I can enjoy them all the time. I may have made that resolution last year…

    In the space of 2 weeks, I managed to listen to all of these:

    How many albums can you name on my vinyl floor?

    Hilariously, when I put this photo on Facebook, the facial recognition system picked up Peter Gabriel (line 9, position 1), Phil Collins from The Face Album (line 4, position 2) and that guy from Wang Chung (line 7, position 2).

    And probably most excitingly, I caught up with Radio’s Alex Williamson, Nick Godfrey and Tim Wray to shoot some more of our somewhat popular Internet sitcom Too Easy.

    Expect 4 new episodes coming to your computer screens and mobile devices later this month! And we reckon these are the funniest ones so far…

    Here are some behind the scenes snaps to wet your appetite…

    Get ready for the return of Ricky T! Played by the talented Jack Ellis, who’s just been accepted into NIDA in Sydney!

    Some great memories there. Can’t wait to share them with you when Alex cuts the episodes together.

    I always enjoy being back in Adelaide. However, having said that… I think I would be a little depressed if I were to move back there permanently. For now, I’ve got to be in Melbourne to keep on with the career.

    Alex said it best I think. Adelaide’s comfortable. But sometimes, you’ve got to get out of your comfort zone.

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    Stay classy, Adelaide.