I’ve just returned from a 2 week chillaxment in Adelaide. Always a pleasure to visit my home town. Great to see the family and old friends, and boy, there’s nothing like that first glass of Adelaide water.
The last 2 weeks in Adelaide were probably the best weather I’ve ever experienced. Bright blue skies and sunshine every single day. There’s a certain brightness and freshness that you don’t often get in Melbourne. No offense.
I was back for Christmas. And the winner of “best present ever” goes to my thoughtful sister Hannah, who actually read the article I wrote on gifts for mX the other week. She got me this:
Instead of something useless that’s just going to take up the limited space I have in my room in Melbourne, she made a donation to charity, which provided a piglet to a poor family in Laos. This is fantastic.
This is what Christmas should be about. Giving things to people who really need it. I can’t remember the last time I reacted to a Christmas present with a genuine smile. Best present ever.
Was also good to catch up with my brother Luke C. Green. He, along with my other sister Alice, have a rare degenerative condition called “hereditary spastic paraplegia”. But Luke’s making the most of it. His reduced mobility gives him an excuse to do what he really loves: play computer games.
The whole thing is very hard on my parents. I really don’t know how they do it.
And I was very, very happy to see Katie, the family Cardigan Corgi. She’s had some problems with her hips the last couple of years. Since I moved it’s apparently become worse. She doesn’t tend to move around the house much any more. But when I arrived she ran out to greet me. A rare honour these days, so I’m told.
Caught up too with the talented Li’l Lisa Pellegrino. We go way back to those unsupervised days at Radio Adelaide 101.5FM circa 2007. In 2009 she moved to Darwin to do breakfast on Mix 104.9FM. She recently made the move to 105.7 ABC Darwin. Plus she also helped get me a job at the Palace Nova Cinema in Adelaide, so I still feel I owe her. She’s definitely one to watch.
I notice the Adelaide Advertiser hasn’t changed. Just as appalling as ever. And they’re persisting with the same poorly designed reader poll graph, which I have previously mocked on this website:
2 responses? Honestly, why don’t they just make it up? And the arrow points towards NO! This is the worst kind of ergonomics. When will they learn? The city really needs a second daily local newspaper.
I spent a lot of time listening to my vast collection of 80s new wave records, which I dearly miss. Resolution for this year is to get them all over to Melbourne so I can enjoy them all the time. I may have made that resolution last year…
In the space of 2 weeks, I managed to listen to all of these:
How many albums can you name on my vinyl floor?
Hilariously, when I put this photo on Facebook, the facial recognition system picked up Peter Gabriel (line 9, position 1), Phil Collins from The Face Album (line 4, position 2) and that guy from Wang Chung (line 7, position 2).
And probably most excitingly, I caught up with Radio’s Alex Williamson, Nick Godfrey and Tim Wray to shoot some more of our somewhat popular Internet sitcom Too Easy.
Expect 4 new episodes coming to your computer screens and mobile devices later this month! And we reckon these are the funniest ones so far…
Here are some behind the scenes snaps to wet your appetite…
Get ready for the return of Ricky T! Played by the talented Jack Ellis, who’s just been accepted into NIDA in Sydney!
Some great memories there. Can’t wait to share them with you when Alex cuts the episodes together.
I always enjoy being back in Adelaide. However, having said that… I think I would be a little depressed if I were to move back there permanently. For now, I’ve got to be in Melbourne to keep on with the career.
Alex said it best I think. Adelaide’s comfortable. But sometimes, you’ve got to get out of your comfort zone.
Kind regards,
David M. Green
Stay classy, Adelaide.
What started out as a pretty crappy year for me, really picked up about half way through, and ended on a high.
Since finishing journalism at RMIT Uni last year, I literally applied for 75 jobs between October 2010 and May 2011, to no success. It was extremely demoralising. Even more so because I’m a genius, and most people don’t seem to have the time to notice. Also, I’m terrible in job interviews.
But it just so happened I was at the right place at the right time with MTR. I started as a Melbourne Talk Radio panel operator in June. And in October I started working full time on The Steve Vizard Show. It’s turned out to be one of the most amazing experiences I’ve ever had. Great people. Lots of laughs. A few tears. And some great radio. Very much looking forward to continuing in 2012.
This is why I moved to Melbourne.
Something that’s gone a little less successfully, was my Channel 31 TV game show “31 Questions”. After actually being canceled in February, we managed to get un-canceled in May and we shot a second pilot on June 29. It went very well and certainly one of the highlights of my year:
We had a spanner thrown in the works when some clown at RMIT University decided they wanted to make it as difficult as possible for people to use their television studio. And for the last 6 months we’ve been waiting for the go ahead to present the pilot to Channel 31 (which might I add, has already been filmed. It’s sitting on a DVD ready to go). We’ve neither been approved nor rejected. And we’re hoping (yet again) we’ll get to make a 13-episode series in early 2012.
And if we get a “no”, then we’ll obviously be looking at other options, because this is what we want to do. We want to make TV. It’s incredible how many people are out there trying to tear you down. But I can assure you I will never give up. NEVER! NEVER! NEVER!
I’ve made a few other TV appearances this year. To save you time, here are a selection of hilarious highlights:
It’s been a year of highs and lows. But I think the high highs make the low lows worth it. And I do believe that for the eighth year in a row, this has been the best year of my life.
Professionally. Creatively. Socially.
And I’m still loving Melbourne.
I’m now looking forward to heading back to Adelaide for Christmas and the New Year. See the family, old friends and shoot some more Too Easy!
But I’ll be back in Melbourne for 2012. I have a feeling next year is going to be something special.
So have yourselves a merry little Christmas and all that crap. See you on the other side.
A few weeks ago I received this email out of the blue:
Date: Tue, 18 Oct 2011 15:15:47 +0100
From: Marcus Taylor
Hey David,
Hope you’re having a great start to the week 🙂
I just wanted to get in touch as I came across your Youtube channel and really enjoyed your review of How to Win Friends & Influence People – great book!
I’m currently looking for some awesome video bloggers like yourself to review a book coming out this Thursday called Get Noticed, which is described as being ‘a how to guide to being in the right place at the right time, all the time’ and has been dubbed as a ‘must-read’ by New York Times best selling author Debra Fine.
You would be one of the first people to review this book, so there’s a great exposure opportunity in place. As a little added benefit we’d also be offering you:
£4.20 (roughly $7.50) commission for any sales you refer from your video review.
Exposure on the Get Noticed website
Promotion of your video from the author’s Twitter & Facebook accounts
A free e-copy of the book to read
Invitation to an exclusive UStream interview with the authors (you also have the opportunity to interview the authors with any questions you have)
Hopefully together we can promote your video and channel to get some benefit from the buzz around the book launch.
If it sounds of interest I can send through a copy of the book and we can go from there!
Thanks,
Marcus
Now, I get spam like this all the time. So naturally, I did a little research. This guy seemed legit. He’s some author from the UK who’s written what I could only assume was some kind of self-help book.
But what the hell was he contacting me for?
When did I ever review “How to win friends and influence people”?
Oh wait… surely he doesn’t mean THIS…
Ah yes, last year my good friend Lachlan Cowlishaw and I, for a bit of fun, set up a couple of cameras and chairs in Lachlan’s garage and goofed around for a few hours.
We just used things lying around his garage as props. One of them happened to be a copy of the original 1936 self-help book “How to win friends and influence people” by Dale Carnegie. And in the midst of ab-libbing, we made a few references to it.
Okay, so this Marcus guy is familiar with my sarcastic brand of comic japery. And the temptation of a quick buck is a boon for the spam email industry… so I figured I had nothing to lose by asking a few more questions:
Date: Wed, 19 Oct 2011 17:06:34 +1100
From: David M. Green
Hi Marcus,
Thanks for your email. Sounds interesting.
What kind of deadline are you wanting?
DMG
—
Date: Fri, 21 Oct 2011 18:17:22 +0100
From: Marcus Taylor
Hi David,
Thanks for getting in touch, there’s no deadline per se but the sooner the better as there will be a lot of buzz about the book during the launch this week. I’ve attached a copy for you to have a look at and base your review on. If there’s anything extra that would help you just let me know and i’ll see what I can do 🙂
Cheers,
Marcus
So I took a look at the book. My first reaction was “100 pages!?! This is like an entire book! I don’t have time to read this!”
For the first time in my life, I’m working full time (6 day weeks for a while there) and really don’t have time to do anything.
At the same time I welcomed the opportunity to make another funny video; I don’t seem to make enough of them these days…
I figured this Marcus guy was a savvy character. He’s written a book. He wants to promote it. Surely, he’s sent out dozens of these emails to YouTube people, right?
So I did a browse, but couldn’t find anyone else who had uploaded a review.
I did find one though from the authors themselves:
I also saw THIS, which is just too good to be true…
Note the upload date and number of views for his video “How to Get Noticed on YouTube”:
Okay. So a guy who ironically has a video on YouTube about how to get views on YouTube, that’s had 6 views in 4 months, wants to give me a $7.50 commission for every book I sell for him.
Now, I’m no whiz with these money-making schemes. I sure as hell don’t make any money from this website. How exactly would this work?
I inquired.
Date: Sat, 22 Oct 2011 23:12:13 +1100
From: David M. Green
Cheers Marcus,
I’ll take a look at that.
Just out of interest, how will you track the number of sales I attract?
DMG
—
Date: Sat, 22 Oct 2011 13:20:48 +0100
From: Marcus Taylor
No problem, the sales are tracked with an affiliate tracking code that’s unique to you. So we’ll give you a unique link to the site, which if sales are referred from we’ll know that you referred the sale.
Marcus
—
Date: Sun, 23 Oct 2011 00:48:38 +1100
From: David M. Green
Ok sounds good. And you’d just want me to upload the video to my own YouTube account?
DMG
—
Date: Sat, 22 Oct 2011 17:11:36 +0100
From: Marcus Taylor
yep! 🙂
So long story short, my good friend Anthony McCormack came round and helped me make THIS:
Hold on to your hats folks, because what I’m about to say may shock you…
I don’t think Marcus likes it.
You may have noticed (but you probably didn’t, no offense), there’s no link anywhere in the video or its description for you to go and purchase a copy of “Get Noticed”.
The saga continues…
Date: Sat, 29 Oct 2011 18:38:36 +1100
From: David M. Green
Hi Marcus,
I’ve “reviewed” your book.
If you’d be so kind as to send over that unique tracking code link, I’ll put it in the video description.
Kind regards,
TV’s David M. Green
—
Date: Sun, 30 Oct 2011 14:31:55 +0000
From: Marcus Taylor
Hi David,
I appreciate you taking the time to do this, however I’d like to raise a few points.
The video I was referencing in my e-mail was this one:
which although not a ‘review’ per se, I found quite funny.
Also, Get Noticed is not a ‘self help’ book as such, it’s aimed towards creative people & entrepreneurs and is about getting noticed to become more successful at what you do. I did show the video to a few friends who have read the book and they were very confused by the claims you were making.
No hard feelings, but i’d like to ask you kindly if you can remove the video if you wouldn’t mind. I don’t feel it positively serves what either of us are trying to do and I was under the impression from your emails that you were genuinely interested in reading it – I’ve always felt that making personal attacks & uninformed negative reviews publicly is not productive and after all, what goes around tends to come around.
With that in mind, i’d appreciate it if you could remove the video, but if you feel strongly about leaving it live we can discuss further, as I really don’t want to create negativity online about each other’s work as i’m sure we’ve both got much better things to get on with.
Many thanks,
Marcus Taylor
Co-author of Get Noticed
“Uninformed negative reviews”?
Now personally, the idea that there’s a group of people on the other side of the world “very confused” by my video, I find hilarious.
What I found confusing was how he could set “The All New Garage Show” as the benchmark for a good, wholesome and funny book review (I could just end that sentence there, but there’s more), AND THEN be surprised at the video I produced for HIS book?
Date: Mon, 31 Oct 2011 16:54:15 +1100
From: David M. Green
Hi Marcus,
So, you are aware that I’m a comedian. What exactly were you expecting?
DMG
Hehehe… this just gets better and better…
Date: Mon, 31 Oct 2011 13:46:16 +0000
From: Marcus Taylor
Hi David,
Honestly, I was expecting a genuine review of the book with a touch of humour but in a way that you’d be able to maybe share some of the tips from the book, opposed to humouring the book & myself directly. I wasn’t entirely sure how you’d go about it, but I figured you’d do it in a way slightly differently to most video bloggers, which is kind of what i’m after.
I am going to be living in Melbourne for six months next year, which I notice is where you’re based, so I’ll try and come along to a show if you’ve got anything lined up then as I do enjoy your comedy (obviously excluding the review…) and we’re also looking to do some cool stuff promoting the talents of creative & artistic individuals so i’d be keen to see you do some stand-up.
Is there any possibility that you could remove the video?
Thanks,
Marcus
Hmmm… puts me in a predicament doesn’t it?
Do I take it down in exchange for some “promotion” or do I leave it up and get the “promotion” I was originally promised, like they gave to Mattias Gronborg from Stockholm, who I can only assume “passed” the Get Noticed review challenge:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fW2A1xBdijk
I never seem to learn my own lesson: DON’T WRITE REVIEWS!
The last review I wrote got me kicked off a TV show.
But you know what? This time I’m standing up for free speech.
Date: Tue, 01 Nov 2011 22:02:43 +1100
From: David M. Green
Hi Marcus,
Thank you for the compliments.
I must say though, I find this whole thing fascinating.
You have actually watched that video, yes?
You do realise that in that “review”, Lachlan (Kevin) reveals he hadn’t actually read “How to win friends and influence people”? (This is stated multiple times throughout the video)
So I have not at all misrepresented myself. I have not tricked you into thinking I do serious book reviews. My review of “Get Noticed” was in a similar style.
You say you figured I’d do my review “in a way slightly different to most video bloggers”. I believe I’ve done exactly that.
When you asked me to review your book, you didn’t set any guidelines. You did not say “don’t call it a self-help book”. I apologise if I’ve misrepresented your “it’s aimed towards creative people & entrepreneurs and is about getting noticed to become more successful at what you do” book by calling it a “self-help book”.
In an editorial, I can actually express any opinion I want, so long as it’s not defamatory, which of course it wasn’t. In fact, I think I’ve given you a fairly positive review. The whole video is essentially me saying how great your book is and how everyone should buy it, albeit in a tongue-in-cheek way.
You can’t commission a review and then kick up a fuss when the reviewer doesn’t give you the exact review you want. If you made a film and I gave it 3 stars and you think it’s worth 5, well then bad luck. That’s the risk you take when you put your product out there.
Are you going to hold up your end of the bargain by giving me my affiliate tracking code link?
Kind regards,
David M. Green
And strangely enough I have yet to receive a reply.
I’m guessing I’m not going to see any money from this…
So if you enjoyed my video review of “Get Noticed”, please share the link. Post this to your Facebook or Twitter accounts.
If you’d actually like to buy a copy of “Get Noticed”, you can do so here. But keep in mind, as I don’t have an affiliate link, I’m not receiving any commission. So if you would be so kind as to use the “donate” button on the left hand side of my website to shoot me over $7.50, I would be very confused.
Also, I have not read this book.
Kind regards,
David M. Green
Hey, made a good blog entry at least.
How long do your sunglasses typically last before you lose them, sit on them or update them as fashion dictates? Two years? Three if you’re lucky?
Try 10!
My combination of looking after things and avoiding spending money, has meant my recently retired ocular sun-wear lasted me an entire decade!
I bought the $30 Polaroid sunglasses from Target in early 2001, in preparation for the Sacred Heart College Middle School Year 9 golf camp.
The cultural impact of “The Matrix” was just starting to make its mark on the Adelaide discount fashion industry. This was a few years before the “over-sized” craze of the mid ’00s, and in hindsight there’s definitely something “New Millennium” about those sunglasses.
They certainly served me well.
Whether it be driving a 1986 Toyota Corolla…
Or driving a 2000 Toyota Corolla…
Those sunglasses were always, if not attached to my face, then certainly within reach.
But they weren’t just useful for driving. I wore those trusty sunglasses on many modes of transport, from Melbourne’s trams…
To South Australia’s fabulous public transport network…
Where ever there was sunlight, I was always prepared.
I had a lot of good times in those sunglasses… if you know what I mean 😉
From wandering around the Sydney Opera House…
Scamming free tickets to things…
And that time I almost fought in ‘Nam…
To working for the man…
To “working” for the man…
Accosting celebrities at airports…
Standing around in Port Adelaide for no reason…
And just wasting time with friends…
But the time to move on is now. Actually the time to move on was probably four years ago. Quite frankly, those sunglasses are kinda gross now. Those little plastic thingies that rest on my nose used to be see-through. Now they’re brown…
So they’ve been banished away to the back of my desk drawer, next to my Rubix Cube and that mini Red Bull some promo girl gave me last year that I still have for some reason.
My face now bears a new pair of sunglasses, which don’t actually look that much different and ironically, are themselves at least five years old…
When I was working at GameTraders Norwood in December 2005, some guy came in and left his – what I assume to be very expensive – Ray-Ban shades on the counter.
So I put them in the draw and after a week and no inquiries, claimed them as my own.
And since then they’ve been waiting in the wings for the moment I killed my primary pair. But curse my habit of not breaking or losing things! They sat in my drawer for FIVE YEARS!
Look out that window. You had your time. The future is our world, old sunglasses. The future is… our time.
Kind regards,
David M. Green
Look after your things. And don’t stare directly into the sun.
This year I’ve dabbled in a bit of work as a television extra. You might recognise me as “guy walking in background with street light antennae” in the above scene from episode 17 of Seven’s “Winners and Losers”… No? Well, you must have missed that one.
I’ve now been a professional extra on shoots for every major Australian television network, with the exception of SBS. As well, I’ve finally got around to watching Ricky Gervais’s “Extras”, which is some fantastic satire on the whole process of being an extra. Plus it’s just a funny show.
So I thought I’d pool all of my “wisdom” together into a blog entry to enlighten you on some common myths and harsh realities of working as a television extra.
1. It’s good money.
No it isn’t.
Sure, a lot of the time you’ll just be sitting around getting $25 an hour, waiting to be told where to walk. But you might be lucky enough to get one or two 4-hour jobs A MONTH (assuming you live somewhere with a thriving film and television scene). You’re not getting paid to sit around the other 712 hours of the month.
And keep in mind, you have to give 10% to your agent.
The real TV money is in acting, writing, producing, directing and crewing. But you’re never going to buy a house by working as an extra.
2. Free catering!
Well… sometimes…
This is one of the finest illustrations of what it’s like for an extra at the catering table… (skip to 8.21):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PBFZP2wU1Tg
From my own personal experience, I’ve found that often the producers will try very hard to AVOID feeding the extras. Feeding extras = extra costs.
One time I was on a shoot with a cal time of 6AM. I approached the catering table, just hoping for a coffee. A guy who was standing at an espresso machine said, “What are ya after mate?” I replied, “Oh… just a flat white, thanks.”
I made two mistakes there:
1. He wasn’t the guy who makes the coffees. And
2. Coffee was for actors and crew only.
So I settled with just a water.
On another occasion, I’d just finished 4 hours of wandering in the background with a group of about eight other extras. The AD (Assistant Director) called out, “Right that’s lunch everyone. Oh, and extras, that’s a wrap for you. You can go straight home.”
But if you’re lucky enough to land a full day extra gig somewhere, make the most of it and enjoy that free food!
3. You get to MEET famous people!
Maybe…
You’re probably more likely to MEET a famous actor if you’re hanging around the set and you’re NOT an extra. Because when you’re an extra, this tends to happen (skip to 4.50):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_K9kdV36S0U
Sure, you certainly get to SEE lots of famous people when you’re an extra. But you generally don’t get the opportunities to have extensive conversations with them.
Even if you’re in the same scene together, you can’t bother them. They’ve got to think about their lines and which marks they have to hit around the set. And you have to listen out for your cue to walk.
Unless you’re directed to “converse and have a laugh with Al Pacino”, you’re not likely to exchange more than a “hello”, or at best a handshake and a quick photo. But I guess on Facebook, that’s all you need as evidence you met a celebrity… Speaking of which, did I mention I met Peter Combe?
4. It’s easy.
Most of the time it is. But it can also be extremely stressful.
Picture this. You’re one of 10 extras in a scene with big name TV stars in front of a crew of about 30 people. There’s guys with smoke machines and bright lights. There’s boom microphones bobbing all around just above your head. Guys running around with steady-cams looking like some half-man half-recording-machine. And you have to somehow walk through all of this in a precise way, at a precise time, without disturbing the real actors, without tripping on cables, and without looking at the cameras.
AND, you don’t want to be the extra who screws up the take. Because you know that you’re a nobody. And the only good thing an extra has going for them is their reliability. If word gets out you don’t perform 100% every time, BANG that’s it. You’re blacklisted and you’ll never work as an extra in this town again.
Keep in mind also that quite often as an extra, you’re not always given all the information.
You rarely get to see the script. You don’t know the names of most of the cast or crew. Sometimes you’re not even sure who the director is. And there have been occasions where I’ve been on a set and I don’t even know the name of the show I’m on!
I’ve showed up for a job only to discover I was at the wrong place, and the unit base was about half a kilometre away.
On that same shoot, I also discovered only when i arrived at the set, that the role would require some serious heavy lifting. No one told me that. No one asked if I was fit enough to carry a man on an antique stretcher. Even more surprisingly, there was no safety briefing! No one told me how to lift, or to do any stretches.
Then just before we go for a take, the director tells me to turn around and lift the stretcher backwards! I was struck by a vision of me slipping on the slick marble floor and seeing this guy’s head crack open with cameras capturing the moment in stunning high definition.
No one else seemed to realise the danger. Was I going to be the one who speaks up? (My girlfriend works for WorkSafe Victoria, you know)
That’s too much pressure for $25 an hour.
I actually refused to carry him backwards. I simply said “I’m sorry, but I can’t lift it like that.” We got through it in the end without killing anyone. But my hands, shoulders and legs were very sore for the rest of the week.
Absolutely appalling for one of Australia’s major broadcasters.
I did actually call the line producer the next day and told her my concerns. She said she’d look into it. I never heard back. I suspect I’ve probably been blacklisted.
But who cares about all of that when…
5. You get to be on TV!
If you’re lucky.
I’ve actually been very fortunate so far with being selected on the day, purely by chance, to be an extra who has his face pointed towards the camera (See “Winners and Losers” screen shot top of page).
Of course I’ve had my fair share of being hidden in the background with my back to the camera as well:
Here’s how Ricky Gervais portrayed it in Extras (watch the first minute):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=skmwwHS4iR8
I can beat Ricky on this one though. Back when I was still living in Adelaide, I was an extra in an episode of Nine’s “McLeod’s Daughters”. The whole scene was cut.
6. Well, it’s a good place to start.
No. No it’s not.
You will never ever be promoted to “star” from purely doing work as an extra. The best you can hope for is more extra work. And the occasional screen shot (see above).
But no Hollywood director is going to watch the show, notice you miming in the background and say, “Wow, look at that out of focus guy pretending to drink a coffee! He’s perfect for the lead in my next picture!”
Still, it is a bit of a laugh. And I’ll happily pretend to drink coffee out of focus in the background for $25 an hour again, if and when the time calls for it.
