David M. Green: Purveyor of fine humour

Category: TV

  • 31 Questions: Low budget TV at its most adequate.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nAPVzMuPmzQ

    And a very big thank you to TV’s Andrew O’Keefe and the good people at Profile Talent Management and Global Television Studios in South Melbourne!

    The irony is we actually shot a sketch where AO’K refuses to appear in an ID for 31 Questions…

    Stay tuned for that one. It will be an opening sketch to one of our 13 episodes and will debut on Channel 31 at some point between June and August. More info when we find out our timeslot.

    We’ve now passed the half way point in the 31 Questions shooting schedule!

    Last Thursday May 3, we shot episodes 8 and 9. Once again there were the usual issues to deal with: crew calling in sick, technical glitches, pressed for time, etc.

    But we had a great audience turnout this week and we managed to shoot a couple of quick sketches in addition to the two episodes. Plus we finished on time for a change. Incredible!

    And it’s still smiles all round. At least when Simon gets his camera out.

    Some of the gags were a bit hit and miss. It never ceases to surprise me how completely off the mark I can be re how I think an audience will react.

    My hilarious friend Gerard Kotlowy and I, in one of our many laugh-generation sessions whenever I’m back in Adelaide, came up with this gag involving me pulling a cob of corn from beneath my podium in response to a question about farmers.

    I thought it would kill!

    On the night it received a lukewarm response. In hindsight it probably just confused people.

    But on the other hand, a throw away line coming back from a break: “I’m David M. Green. The love child of Jim Carrey, Gary Numan, and Jim Carrey…” got a HUGE laugh.

    Pfft… comedy.

    I think that’s why I like it so much. It’s never without mystery.

    An amusing bi-product of producing this TV show is I seem to be amassing an assortment of bizarre random items.

    The other day I had to go buy a rubber duck and a packet of little army men… watch the show and eventually you’ll find out why.

    When this is all over, I’ll have in my possession: x4 A1 sized black and white posters of my face, x10 David M. Green mugs, an air horn, x2 fluoro orange workers’ shirts, a name plate that says “Moderator”, x3 overpriced 31 Questions custom microphone flags, a safety card from a Boeing 737-800, and these are just the things we haven’t already given away as prizes…

    If there’s one thing I’ve already got enough of… it’s desk ornaments…

    Television has a rich history of amassing interesting knickknacks. A fact explored further by Anthony McCormack and myself in this brief video recorded in the RMITV prop room…

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8fne9b6T4UQ&feature=plcp

    This Thursday May 10 is our penultimate 31 Questions studio shoot. So if you can’t make it for the finale on May 17 THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE!

    So come watch two shows as they’re recorded on fabulous standard definition video tape this Thursday 7PM, Studio A, Level 2, Building 12 of RMIT University on scenic Swanston Street, Melbourne.

    RSVP to the event on Facebook. Or don’t and come anyway. Or alternatively, RSVP on Facebook and then don’t come. Or don’t RSVP and don’t come. These are your four options.

    Surprise me.

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    Oooooh… 31 Questions is coming sooooooooon!

  • Now we’re making television!

    I walked away from RMIT University’s Studio A on fabulous Swanston Street last Thursday evening feeling like a million dollars! Nothing beats a great comedy performance. Although in fairness, some of that may have been the cocaine.

    On April 26, we shot episodes 6 and 7 of 31 Questions and it went splendidly. I believe it also marks the first time 31 Questions will require a “drug references” warning at the start of the broadcast.

    Our audience warm-up guy wasn’t there again, but it didn’t seem to matter because there was a really positive vibe in the studio this week, which wasn’t quite all there last week.

    It’s still proving difficult to get people to come to the taping. Five minutes before we were to start the first of our two shows for the evening, I walked out onto Swanston Street in a last minute desperate attempt to find some audience members.

    Incredibly, I was somehow able to drag in two Queensland girls who had only been in Melbourne for about four hours! They were just wandering aimlessly around the city streets. Now they’ve got a great story for their Sunshine State friends: “Oh yeah, you can’t walk down the street in Melbourne without being dragged into a TV studio.”

    We shot a little behind the scenes video with them, which I believe has been sent off to Lisbon, Portugal for editing. I’d say it will be “coming soon” to the 31 Questions YouTube Channel, so keep your eye’s and bananas peeled.

    In the mean time, here’s a still:

    Also, here’s a photo that has something to do with 31 Questions:

    Another great moment while filming came about a third of the way into taping the first episode of the evening.

    We’ve been having some trouble with the buzzers. Simon had organised their construction through a friend of his at a cost of something like $250. But with the constant battering they’re receiving from over-zealous contestants, the plastic casing has cracked and the wiring is starting to come loose.

    I actually have a little reset button on my podium. So after each question, I press the button to reset the buzzers for the next question. But after Act 1 of episode 6, the reset button stopped working, meaning the buzzers essentially became very expensive (and tall) coasters.

    So we took a little break to chat to the audience, while the very talented technical director James Gormley got out a soldering iron and set to work on repairs. About seven minutes later, he’d done it!

    I think James actually got the biggest applause we’ve had on the whole series so far.

    We were probably 60 seconds away from carrying on without the buzzers and implementing our very sophisticated back-up plan of contestants raising a hand when they know the answer. And let’s face it… That would have been pretty lame.

    I’m thrilled that 31 Questions is finally starting to resemble my initial vision for a funny low budget TV show. Now, if I can only get my hair to stay in place…

    There’s still 6 episodes to go!

    So come join the party! We’re taping episodes 8 and 9 this Thursday May 3, 7PM. Studio A, Level 2, Building 12, RMIT University, Swanston St, Melbourne.

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    31 Questions! Or as Ben Cousins calls it, “Getting Arrested”.

  • *Ding* Time to turn the page…

    Welcome to the next chapter in the DMG saga.

    It’s been some time since my last blog entry. My apologies if I’ve neglected the few souls who come here semi-regularly, hoping to discover some new David M. Green bloggy goodness.

    I suppose I can immediately blame Optus. I moved into this new apartment in Hawthorn on March 10. I was supposed to have Internet installed on March 23. It’s now April 6 and I’m still waiting for my wi-fi modem.

    Thank God for the “hotspot” function on my iPhone and the idiot in the neighbourhood with the unsecured wireless network, or I’d be living like it’s 1996.

    Hopefully I’ll properly merge onto the on-ramp to the Information Superhighway soon enough, and join the rest of you.

    I’m settling into my new place nicely. The kitchen is just about set up. I had to buy a fridge, a microwave, cutlery, crockery, cookware, the works.

    I even needed to buy a bench from IKEA, as there’s not enough built-in bench space…

    One Paul Simon’s “Graceland” and half of Gary Numan’s “Beserker” later…

    Tada! Gotta hand it to those Swedes. They know kitchen solutions.

    The lounge room/main room still needs some work. A couch is on its way from my lovely parents’ house in Adelaide. Then when I can muster the cash, I’ll get a coffee table and a bigger TV.

    Speaking of cash, I recently signed up with DJ Masters as a casual DJ. Thus far I’ve DJ-ed two weddings. One in Metung, near Lakes Entrance in eastern Victoria. The other in Shepparton, a couple of hours north of Melbourne.

    If you stalk me on Twitter you can follow my progress wearing suits and spinning tracks all over the state.

    Want David M. Green to DJ your next rhythmic social gathering for some reason? Go to the DJ Masters website. Ask for me by name. Or a vague description.

    I’ve also got a very promising new radio-related job in the pipeline. But more on that one soon.

    And then there’s 31 Questions. My big project for 2012.

    In a way, it’s been a blessing I lost the MTR job, because I have no idea how the hell I’d be able to produce, write and host this TV show if I was also working 40 hours a week.

    I’ve got most of the 13-episode season now written and it’s coming together nicely. We’ve already shot some pre-tape stuff, including this:

    And last night we had our first studio day. A very brief rehearsal and a chance to shoot some of the opening sketches.

    Not surprisingly, we were plagued by problems. The hallmark of community television.

    The most annoying hindrance was the absence of a large piece of our set, which we had constructed for our 2nd pilot in June 2011. It had simply disappeared from the store room!

    In hindsight, we probably should have checked last week everything was in order. But Jesus! It’s a huge object. No idea where it’s got to. It’s either been misplaced god knows where, stolen, or broken up and used for firewood.

    We were extremely fortunate to make a similar-looking replacement out of pieces of other sets. You can hardly tell the difference, right?

    In the 2nd pilot, we had 2 plasma TVs on set. But we arrived yesterday to discover one of them was broken.

    Fortunately I had a large poster of myself; an item I can stare at just as long, if not longer, than a flat screen television. An adequate replacement, no?

    There were some other technical issues as well. Something was wrong with the lighting desk, which meant we only had time to record three of the seven sketches I had planned.

    Hats off to our fantastic crew. Despite the setbacks, we all kept on and no one lost their cool.

    We’ve still got the next six Thursdays in the studio so hopefully we’ll squeeze the rest in.

    And I’m very happy with the new cast.

    There’s myself of course (but you know that).

    Taking over from Alasdair “Al” Tremblay-Birchall  is the fabulous Anthony McCormack (from The Good Show and many other things). We all loved Al but he has conflicting Melbourne Comedy Festival commitments.

    And it gives me great pleasure to introduce Sophie Loughran as our new 31 Questions scorekeeper.You’re gonna love her!

    From our rehearsals, we gel together like some sort of razzle dazzle entertainment ooze. And I’m really looking forward to working with the two of them more over the next 6 weeks. I think we got something here.

    Also, I got to wear a dress:

    Disturbingly, I stayed in that dress just a bit too long after shooting the relevant sketch. I enjoyed it considerably more than I was expecting…

    I don’t actually mind wearing lip stick and make-up, but here’s a fun fact for you: I absolutely hate face paint. Ever since I was 4. That one occasion at kindergarten in 1991 was the one and only time I ever had my face painted. From memory, it was some form of rainbow. Just didn’t care for it.

    But back to the present. Remember, we’ll need contestants on the show too. Plus there’s plenty (every) of seats available in our studio audiences. So sign up to RMITV and keep an eye on the 31 Questions Facebook and Twitter pages for updates.

    So big times ahead for the next six weeks. I’ve got a television series to make. And I have to scrape enough money together to pay for it, plus pay my considerably higher rent, and a cavalcade of bills and renewals… which always seem to come all at once, don’t they?

    Car registration, servicing, RACV membership, Internet, ambulance cover. All these bills and more! Christ!

    But then again, I could die tomorrow, and I’d still be in surplus.

    So life ain’t so bad, really.

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    With a new found appreciation for women’s fashion.

  • C31 gives 31 Questions the green light!

    That’s right!

    After 18 months, two pilots and not much else, my game show 31 Questions has finally been given the green light by both RMITV Student Television AND Melbourne’s Channel 31.

    We’re booked in to start shooting our 13-episode TV series starting mid-April for broadcast starting in June.

    Due to the vast amount of time that’s passed since we started this project, understandably there’s been some attrition of cast and crew. So we’re looking to fill a few roles.

    If you live in Melbourne and you’re interested in getting involved with the fabulous world of community television production, make sure you’re a member of RMITV Student Television. We’ll be sending out emails with more information soon.

    And keep in touch with the show’s progress on Facebook and Twitter.

    A big thanks to the several key people who have fought for us and helped us through this journey. You know who you are. This has been a dream of mine for many years and I’m absolutely thrilled that I’m now actually going to get a shot at it.

    Kind regards,
    TV’s David M. Green
    Let’s make some TV gold.

  • 2011. A year of sweet success.

    What started out as a pretty crappy year for me, really picked up about half way through, and ended on a high.

    Since finishing journalism at RMIT Uni last year, I literally applied for 75 jobs between October 2010 and May 2011, to no success. It was extremely demoralising. Even more so because I’m a genius, and most people don’t seem to have the time to notice. Also, I’m terrible in job interviews.

    But it just so happened I was at the right place at the right time with MTR. I started as a Melbourne Talk Radio panel operator in June. And in October I started working full time on The Steve Vizard Show. It’s turned out to be one of the most amazing experiences I’ve ever had. Great people. Lots of laughs. A few tears. And some great radio. Very much looking forward to continuing in 2012.

    This is why I moved to Melbourne.

    Something that’s gone a little less successfully, was my Channel 31 TV game show “31 Questions”. After actually being canceled in February, we managed to get un-canceled in May and we shot a second pilot on June 29. It went very well and certainly one of the highlights of my year:

    We had a spanner thrown in the works when some clown at RMIT University decided they wanted to make it as difficult as possible for people to use their television studio. And for the last 6 months we’ve been waiting for the go ahead to present the pilot to Channel 31 (which might I add, has already been filmed. It’s sitting on a DVD ready to go). We’ve neither been approved nor rejected. And we’re hoping (yet again) we’ll get to make a 13-episode series in early 2012.

    And if we get a “no”, then we’ll obviously be looking at other options, because this is what we want to do. We want to make TV. It’s incredible how many people are out there trying to tear you down. But I can assure you I will never give up. NEVER! NEVER! NEVER!

    I’ve made a few other TV appearances this year. To save you time, here are a selection of hilarious highlights:

    It’s been a year of highs and lows. But I think the high highs make the low lows worth it. And I do believe that for the eighth year in a row, this has been the best year of my life.

    Professionally. Creatively. Socially.

    And I’m still loving Melbourne.

    I’m now looking forward to heading back to Adelaide for Christmas and the New Year. See the family, old friends and shoot some more Too Easy!

    But I’ll be back in Melbourne for 2012. I have a feeling next year is going to be something special.

    So have yourselves a merry little Christmas and all that crap. See you on the other side.

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green