David M. Green: Purveyor of fine humour

  • SYLVESTER STALLONE exclusive ‘appearance’

    Episode #2 – Part 3: Sylvester Stallone Exclusive!

    Kevin heads to Hollywood and runs into none other than Sly Stallone on a star tour.

    The All New Garage Show!

    Take a load off with famous Australian talk show host Gerald Field-Mann & his trusty sidekick/producer Kevin Callahan.

    TANGS features the biggest celebrity guests, in-depth interviews and much, much, MUCH more!

    Another pointless project by David M. Green & Lachlan Cowlishaw.

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    Where the hell did that footage come from? Oh, wouldn’t you like to know? 😉

  • ALL NEW “The All New Garage Show” Ep #2 Part 1: Finger Puppet

    Episode #2 – Part 1: Finger Puppet

    Gerald opens show #2 with a quick “studio” tour & Kevin introduces us to his little friend.

    The All New Garage Show!

    Take a load off with famous Australian talk show host Gerald Field-Mann & his trusty sidekick/producer Kevin Callahan.

    TANGS features the biggest celebrity guests, in-depth interviews and much, much, MUCH more!

    Another pointless project by David M. Green & Lachlan Cowlishaw.

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    More to come!

  • Tram driver locked out

    I hopped on the tram yesterday to meet an old friend in the city for lunch. I have a habit of being 10 minutes late to everything, and this occasion was no exception. To save face I often blame the tram; but in reality it’s usually my own fault.

    But THIS TIME I could legitimately say the tram was late. Not for the usual reasons of poorly coordinated traffic lights, bad drivers, old people, tourists asking directions, single parents with prams or punk kids unneccessarily ringing the bell, but because the driver locked himself out of the cabin! And he spent about SEVEN MINUTES trying to open the door!

    So, being the upstanding member of GEN Y that I am – with a camera phone and lots of free time – I got most of it on video and rendered in into a bite-sized sketch, which if you haven’t watched already, is at the top of this post.

    The driver was struggling with the keys for about 3 minutes before I started recording.

    He used one of those poles (the ones they use to switch the points and change the track’s direction) to try to open the door from the inside. Then a hipster passenger offered a helping hand (and foot), but was unsuccessful. Eventually the driver jimmied open the sliding window, tossing the pole loudly into the cabin in frustrated celebration.

    I tell ya… the things you see on a Melbourne tram…

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    Big tram fan.

  • More bad grammar

    It’s been a while since my successful grammatical stand against the Commonwealth Bank, so if you’re in need of a reminder, check out BEFORE and AFTER David’s M. Green’s red correction pen.

    In the mean time I’ve accumulated a few more examples of bad grammar and general incompetence, so back by popular demand… it’s David M. Green: Grammar Nazi!

    What’s worse than finding human faeces in your hotel swimming pool?

    Well… actually, I’d probably prefer the bad grammar:

    Don’t worry. Darryl will sort you out.

    Went to see a movie at the Hoyts cinema at Melbourne’s fabulous Northland Shopping Centre the other day. Ain’t that just humanity at its worst?

    They’re not the kind of folk that take too kindly to outsiders, NEITHER their food NOR drink:

    And here’s an amusing Facebook slip-up from my good friend Rebecca McKinney. No explanation required:

    Jesus, what kind of stitch pattern is she using? She might have to give Darryl a call…

    Grammatical mistakes happen to the best of us. Stuff on Facebook is pretty forgivable, but once it’s printed and turned into signage – especially when it’s big business – grammar fans, let the mockery begin!

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    David M. Green: Grammar Nazi will return in “The Spellcheck Is Not Enough”.

  • Lights, Camera, Maction! Ep #3

    YEEEEESSSSSS! It’s episode #3 of Sam Mac’s “Lights, Camera, Maction!” aka “LCM” aka “Maction!”

    This one guest stars TV’s Charlie Pickering, as well as myself and the lovely Minky Cooper. In my “Stuff Girls Like” segment this week/month, I explore the bikini… Ohoho yeah.

    Thanks again to Simon Eastwood’s fabulous camera and focusing skills.

    This one was much easier to film than the “Lipstick” one we did in episode #1, which required stock footage of a fire truck. The only issue with this one was finding somewhere to film it without anyone asking questions about what the hell we were doing… You’ll understand once you see the video.

    Enjoy!

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    Over to you, Alex Williamson! Tag team!