David M. Green: Purveyor of fine humour

  • Popping voxes for RMITV

    The other day I swung by my alma mater, RMIT University, to record a short promotional video for RMITV Student Television at the university’s O-Day celebrations.

    And I had a freaking fantastic time!

    Basically I walked around with a talented camera-operator named Emma (didn’t catch her surname), doing vox-pops and joking around.

    We recorded about 40 minutes of footage, 15 of which was really good (in my opinion, anyway).

    Someone else edited together a 7 minute video for the Student Union website, which featured some fancy cut-away footage spliced in there and a “best of” the day’s vox-pops.

    They also did that thing where they cut to a second camera that I’m NOT looking at, while I’m doing my PTCs (pieces to camera), and which, if I can be honest, I absolutely hate.

    It makes it look like I’m presenting on Video Hits or some teen show where they assume the audience is so depraved of an attention span you need to keep putting in cuts to the same thing from different angles. Sometimes they change it to black and white or put it in slow motion as well. At least RMITV didn’t go that far…

    Seriously though, great edit. It’s far more swish-looking than I could manage. It’s supposed to be on the Student Union website, but I can’t seem to find it… Little help?

    But anyway, I acquired permission to upload ALL the good footage to the Internet here so YOU can see the good stuff that didn’t make it to the official video.

    So here they are separated into three easy-to-digest videos!

    #1 – Who are you & what are you studying? (Keep your eye out for a cat and a giant bowling pin…)

    –

    #2 – Are you a member of a club or society? (I make two Thai girls sing their national anthem in this one!)

    –

    #3 – Have you heard of RMITV? (Turns out some people understand television better than others…)

    –

    I think I displayed just the right amount of smart-arseness. What do ya reckon?

    Everyone there at the RMITV stall was a pleasure to work (and slack off) with. I wish I could do this sort of thing everyday!

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    And that was a damn fine shotgun microphone.

  • Norman Vine on Barry Radio’s “Bad Blokes”

    Ohohohohohoooooooo YEEEESSSSSS!

    Norman Vine is BACK!

    Tune into Bad Blokes on Barry Radio with my good friends Jack Ellis, Luke “Plugga” Harding and Alex Williamson.

    If you’re in Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Adelaide or Perth, you can tune in on your digital radio, or else listen online at the following times (Australian Eastern Daylight Time, GMT +11):

    Monday – 8AM
    Wednesday – 4PM
    Thursday – 10PM
    Friday – 11AM
    Saturday – 8AM/4PM/10PM
    Sunday – 4AM/11AM/5PM

    I think the guys really mesh well with each other on the air. It’s mostly just laid back chat, but quite dense with gags. They also do the odd sketch here and there.

    And of course, a new segment called “The Finer Things” with my alter-ego, eccentric billionaire and notorious ladies man, Norman Vine, which explores life’s finer things and adds a touch of class to the digital radio spectrum. This week we talk about yachting and dressing gowns. That’s right.

    A big thanks to the good blokes from Bad Blokes for having me on their show. It’s an absolute pleasure and hopefully they’ll have me on a few more times before they get sick of me!

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    I’ll get back to you, Barry.

  • The Twitter Holy Grail: Retweeted by Q&A!

    I couldn’t believe it.

    Last night was the first time I’d twittered along to ABC TV’s political discussion programme “Q&A” and my second ever use of the #qanda hash-tag was put on TV!

    They were talking about the Tea Party movement in the United States, and whether that sort of movement would ever happen in Australia.

    My first tweet was: “I think someone needs a tea bag”. But then I thought of a better pun I had a feeling would be right up the ABC’s alley…

    I’m not entirely sure how they decide which tweets to put on TV. I figure there’s probably one guy who scans the twitter feed and somehow transfers the relevant/funny ones. I’ve heard the show gets tens of thousands of tweets during the hour, so I was quite surprised and very honoured to have achieved the Twitter “Holy Grail” of every comedian and journalist alike, especially on what was essentially my first attempt.

    Within seconds I had about 10 replies on Facebook and Twitter, including one from The Sydney Morning Herald’s Glenda Kwek:

    curious_scribe yes, @david_m_green, a #greenteaparty sounds good. Healthy bowels for all! #qanda

    And I liked this one too from my Internet friend in Townsville:

    Pantomime_Horse Perhaps they’ll hire Hugh Jackman to do the advertisements for a Green Tea Party. #qanda RT @David_M_Green How about a Green Tea Party?

    Several of my friends in Melbourne and Adelaide inform me they gasped in amazement when they saw my name on TV, as did my cousin Laura in Canberra, who apparently nearly fell of her chair. Even one of my RMIT journalism lecturers, Alex Wake, who was watching from the Solomon Islands, allegedly “laughed and laughed”.

    Hehehehe… *sigh*… Can I have a job now?

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    As seen beneath Gail Kelly

  • Lights Camera Maction! Ep 1

    Check out TV & Radio’s Sam Mac’s new webseries “Lights Camera Maction”, as it makes its glorious Internet debut!

    Episode #1 guest stars TV’s Peter Helliar. And more importantly… ME! In a regular segment called “Stuff Girls Like”. It’s essentially just an excuse to be sexist, an opportunity that I rarely turn down. I’ll be alternating this segment with Alex Williamson, so he’ll be telling us about “stuff girls like” next time.

    Follow and “like” Lights Camera Maction on Facebook here.

    Special thanks to the lovely Minky Cooper for helping me out with some lipstick pointers, as well as Simon Eastwood for his amazing camera and competent operation.

    You’d never know that 37 second sketch took us about 4 hours to film. Getting the footage of the fire truck was the tricky part. We wandered around Melbourne looking for a fire station that was actually where Google Maps said it was, and when we finally found a fire station, there was no fire truck! We had to stake it out. Simon’s working on a short “making of” video, which will hopefully be online soon.

    Already working on the next one!

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    How could I not like a show with Devo’s “That’s Good” as it’s theme song?

  • C31 Melbourne approves 31 Questions for second pilot!

    The title says it all!

    Fellow 31 Questions producer Simon Eastwood, as well as RMITV Student Television general manager Eliza Beck and I met with C31’s Kirk Goodsell yesterday to discuss our TV game show.

    The meeting went about as well as we could have hoped. Channel 31 seemed to love the show. So much so that they’ve given us the rare opportunity to actually re-film our pilot episode because, as we all agreed, the concept is strong, but our execution can be better.

    We were provided with excellent feedback from C31. It’s always refreshing to receiving constructive criticism, as opposed to just criticism.

    So I’m happy to announce that we’ll be filming a new pilot in late March. I’ll return as host, with the lovely Minky Cooper as the show’s scorekeeper. And joining us this time at the moderator’s desk will be the resplendent Alasdair Tremblay-Birchall, as Lachlan’s movin’ to Colac to actually make use of his journalism degree. We wish him all the best.

    We’ve got a re-designed set in the works and a long list of lessons we learnt from the pilot. I personally can’t wait to prove we can do better.

    Assuming the pilot redux goes well, there shouldn’t be anything preventing C31 from approving us for a season starting in June and running through to the end of August.

    Hopefully, we’ll one day hoist our logo somewhere on the C31 Hall of Fame – if there is such a thing – next to past stand out shows as: “Chartbusting 80s”, “Hotdog with the Lot” and C31’s infamous “Overnight Fishtank”, which I can only assume was the same one in their waiting room:

    Also, while I’ve got your attention, we’ll be needing some contestants for the new pilot, and the eventual series. That’s where YOU come in!

    This was recently sent to all RMITV Student Television members (you should totally sign up, by the way):

    Hey! Are you under 30? Do you like trivia? Wanna be on the TV?!? THEN READ
    THIS!

    “31 Questions” is a brand new game show produced by RMITV coming soon to Channel 31 Melbourne. And we need contestants!

    Hosted by TV’s David M. Green and assisted by the glamorous Minky Cooper, with Alasdair Tremblay-Birchall as the show’s moderator, “31 Questions” gives ordinary people a chance to prove their trivial superiority.

    So if you’ve got a knack for general knowledge and pop culture, and used to watch shows like “Sale of the Century” and “Vidiot” in the mid 90s, all the while wishing that was YOU answering those questions, now’s your chance to live the dream!

    You could even win some fabulous* prizes…

    If you’d like to be a contestant, contact our lovely producer, Simon Eastwood – simonpeter.eastwood@gmail.com

    Make sure to include your name, gender, age, email address and mobile number, as well as any previous television experience (no experience necessary).

    31 Questions. The people’s quiz show.

    *Prize fabulousness subject to personal opinion.

    Now… we have a lot to organise…

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    Keep checking back for the latest 31Q news, or better yet, follow me on Twitter or Facebook!