When I was back in Adelaide over Christmas, I found a box of old video tapes in my Mum’s garage. After lugging them back to Melbourne – and buying a VCR – I’ve spent the last few months going through them and boy… thank Christ no one threw these out.
I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe… And this stuff is way too good to keep to myself. So I’m thrilled to announce SIX brand new episodes of my webseries “VHS Revue”!
I’ll be releasing one a week for the next six weeks, starting right now. Here’s Ep 3 – The Two Mrs Grenvilles (1988):
Highlights include ads for Jeans United, Big Sister fruitcakes, pork, space-themed instant scratchies, Menage cologne and the inaugural edition of “What the hell was that?”
And a special thanks to a few fantastic people for all their help with these six episodes. Nicholas Godfrey, Adam Navarro, Matthew “Smiddy” Smith & Antonio Cafasso behind the camera; Alexis Kotlowy for his sensational music, graphics and video tape editing; Tim Wray for props, Annika Samuelsson for her voice and my sister Hannah Green for her make-up.
I’ve found some very funny stuff, and a lot of it isn’t already on YouTube. So if you love old ads and random audio-visual tidbits from 80s and early 90s Australia, this is right up your alley.
I would not have a career in radio if it were not for this man.
In 2006, I was 18 and in second year uni when I decided I wanted to get involved with Flinders University Student Radio. Not having the courage to just jump on air and do it, I saw an ad for David Day’s “Intro to Radio Course” at his Australian Radio School, and figured it was worth a shot. Me and a bunch of other guys and gals of various ages and backgrounds met with Daisy one night a week for 12 weeks in his little studio on South Terrace to learn how to make radio. It was great. I remember one night he gave us a tour of the Triple M studios and he showed us this digital audio editing machine called Vox-Pro. I’d never seen anything like that before and I remember watching in awe as he recorded a sentence and chopped it up, rearranged it and put music under it in about 10 seconds. I had this huge epiphany: “So THAT’S how they do it!” I always wanted to make comedy sketches and I saw Daisy do that and my imagination just ran away, thinking of all the possibilities.
I had a meeting with him in 2007 to get some career guidance. By this stage, I’d done a few comedy shows on community radio but I was prepared to go out and work at a country station to get some more experience. He said he reckoned I’d be bored if I went out to the country, so he passed my demo directly to then Today Network Content Director Craig Bruce. That lead to my first gig in radio as a panel operator at SAFM. That lead to my next one at MTR. And that lead to my current one at Crocmedia.
That was my relationship with Daisy. He was a great guy. Always had time to listen. He lived hard and fast and had some incredible stories from the golden years of FM radio. The last time I saw him was December 2009 at one of his SA Music Hall of Fame lunches. I went up to him at the end to say goodbye and thanks for everything because I was moving to Melbourne to pursue show biz. He shook my hand and said: “Good. I expect big things from you”.
I’m thinking of his friends and family at this difficult time.
And so another curtain turns by the milestone where a chapter passes around a corner that’s closed to cap off the page’s end of yet another ticked over year.
Hi, I’m David M. Green and here’s the gist of what I did in 2014.
It’s coming up on 5 years since I left Adelaide for dead and moved to Melbourne to pursue a life of comedy, radio, television and shopping after 9PM. And man, I did a big steaming pile of all those things this year…
January through April was full on. I started at my childhood dream job of writing for a Shaun Micallef-based ABC TV comedy show: Series 3 of Mad As Hell (as seen above with Alasdair Tremblay-Birchall and Simon Taylor in our official ABC-supplied writing uniforms). There’s no other way to put it. It was bloody fantastic. An amazingly talented team of people and so, so much fun. I returned in September to write for Series 4 and I’m thrilled to say I’ll be back in the writers’ room again on Series 5, which starts in February.
If you want tickets to come join the studio audience – which I can highly recommend – hit me upside the head. I know a guy 😉
Here’s my favourite Mad As Hell sketch from this year: “Watching the Watcher”
Returning to the start of the year, the ole RMITV gang got back together one last time to record the third and final season of 31 Questions: The TV game show where YOU get to be the viewer. We put everything into this one and it almost killed me.
I reckon the best episodes this year were 1, 6 and 8.
I’m amazed we got so far with that show. But 4 years and (fittingly) 31 episodes seems like enough for now. It cost a lot of money, time, sleep, dignity, and even a couple of friendships. But we did it because we loved it and everyone involved learned an incredible amount. And that’s community TV.
And that’s why I’m so concerned about the future of community TV, which is currently under threat after Communications Minister Malcolm Turnbull decided to kick all 5 metro stations off the air at the end of 2015.
Make sure you sign the petition over at Commit to Community TV if you think community television in this country is worth having.
After that burst of TV-making in the first half of the year, I took my first trip to Tasmania with my friend and mentor Van Badham. It was pretty good, aside from the food poisoning on the second day. I think it was a combination of some bad fish and a slightly disturbing experience seeing MONA‘s infamous “shitting machine”.
I thought surely I took a picture of that machine? But looking back through the photos, evidently I did not. Probably for the best.
3 days in Hobart was great, though I spent one of those days in bed watching QI, which arguably I could do at home. So I’d love to go back and explore the rest of the state properly. There’s some pretty breath-taking scenery.
Here I am taking a breath:
Back in Melbourne, I met a girl from Sweden. Her name’s Annika. She wants to stay in Australia, so to get a second year on her visa, she went and worked at a dairy farm in Lockington near the Victorian/New South Wales border. For 3 months. For no money. In a profession in which she has zero interest.
Understandably, she didn’t like it much. I’m kinda ashamed we make foreign visitors do that in Australia. We are a selfish, small-minded country – as comprehensively encapsulated by our current federal government and their systematic policies of unfairness… But on the other hand, at least I got something out of this situation (not selfish).
I got to visit a part of the country I’ve never had a reason to go to. So I twice drove up to see Annika, temporarily save her from the life of a milk maid, and spend a few days in Echuca. I introduced her to Red Dwarf and we stayed in a B&B that had a fireplace. (A FIREPLACE, people.)
Both trips were great, though the guy at the B&B was a bit of a dick the second time. Got a stern lecture when we went to check out at 10.07AM. Hey, I was there at 9.55 and the counter was unattended!
Anyway, we’re totally going out now. Here she is riding a cannon (hoho):
Throughout the year I’ve also been back behind the radio panel at Crocmedia, where I continued my self-imposed tradition of panelling the Grand Final for “AFL Live” in a suit:
Even panelled a few shows with cricket legend Merv Hughes. Turns out we have similar tastes in shirts:
There were fewer sound effects this year, but that wasn’t enough to prevent another batch of bizarre audio highlights. Get a load of these:
[display_podcast]
As always, a thrill and a pleasure to work with the whole team, on-air and behind the scenes (and not just because they get my name right, but that does go a long way).
So that’s the gist of it. I’m seeing the year out in Adelaide. Gonna see the old gang. Gonna play some golf. Gonna have my bowl. Gonna eat cereal. Gonna eat at my favourite spots: The Blue Bird Bakery and Charminar Indian restaurant in Brighton, that Yiros House place on Rundle Street, and maybe even Gilbert Place’s The Pancake Kitchen – just like Melbourne’s The Pancake Parlour, but everything’s 30 per cent cheaper. Just the way I like it.
I still love Adelaide. And I love coming back to visit. It’s slowly turning into a proper city. I reckon every time I’m here, I see more solar panels and speed cameras. And little bits of Melbourne slowly being absorbed into the local scene. That’s progress, my friend.
So that’s the gist of it. Thank you for reading, enjoy your holidays and I’ll see you in 2015. We should do lunch.
When I was in Adelaide over the Christmas and New Year period I had the unique opportunity to get a photo, standing next to my car outside my parent’s soon-to-be-sold house in Seacliff.
What’s the significance of this photo? It happened to be 10 years to the day since I took a similar photo in the exact same position on the Earth’s surface!
Just a few things had changed in that decade…
Check it out:
I didn’t look at the first photo before I took the second one, so I was going by memory. That’s why the angle is slightly different, and why my Mum’s Honda is in shot.
Obviously that house in the background was recently knocked down. The concrete running down the centre of the Stobey Pole is a lighter colour in the recent photo because the pole was replaced in 2011 or 12.
Note the trees, brick house and grey fence on the far left of the photo are still there.
Had I not split my pants the night before during some mostly sensible new year’s eve celebrations, I would have been wearing the same style of pants again in the second photo. Alas. But I haven’t broken the habit of crossing my legs and shoving my hands in my pockets in the last 10 years.
As for the car, on New Year’s Day 2004 I’d had my P-Plates for less than a month and was just beginning to enjoy driving my 1986 Toyota Corolla Seca around the neighbourhood all by myself. In 2006, I traded up to a white 2001 Toyota Corolla Seca, which I then sold in 2010 when I moved to Melbourne. I only lasted one year without a car before I bought my current maroon 2000 Toyota Corolla Ascent. They’re wonderful cars.
It’s the end of another year this year. And what an end of a year it’s been. Also, the rest of the year was eventful.
I started 2013 with no regular work and by March I’d run out of money. Well, I say “run out of money”, but I mean it in the first world sense. I got down to my last $9 in the bank, but I still had a car and other things of tangible value, etc. But it was still pretty stressful.
At one point, I applied for a job as a school crossing guard with the Boroondara Council. It was basically this scene from the 1985 motion picture “Lost in America” starring Albert Brooks:
I wasn’t successful.
But I did do this for $150:
Salvation came with the AFL Season and my return to Crocmedia to panel their fabulous “AFL Live” football commentary to 100 radio stations around Australia. Best radio job I’ve had.
[Sports writing mode begins]
The most memorable moment was the Adelaide v. North Melbourne game, Round 9 at Etihad Stadium. The Kangaroos had lead for the entire game, only to have the Crows kick 5 unanswered goals in the final quarter, culminating in an Adelaide goal with only 15 seconds left to give my home town a miracle 1-point victory. It was a fairy tale ending. I’ve never heard Rex Hunt call anything as intense as that.
I don’t leap out of that panel operator’s chair onto my feet very often, but that was one of those moments.
[Sports writing mode ends]
After the AFL season finished, I started some weekend panelling at 1116SEN, using the ole MTR studios in Richmond. So finally, that move from Coburg to Hawthorn to be closer to work (2 days before MTR shut down) has actually paid off. Only took 18 months.
And actually, since I moved in July from the eastern side of Hawthorn to the western side, a stone’s throw from Richmond, I’m close enough to WALK to work in about 15 minutes. The route takes me down Bendigo Street past the old GTV Channel 9 studios, now luxury apartments. To use my favourite cliched broadcasting expression, it’s “absolutely sensational”.
Please enjoy this guided tour of my new place:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8T2pT_bdvAU
It’s much better than the last apartment. Cheaper. More space. Laundry taps and an exhaust fan in the bathroom (as mentioned). And the insulation is excellent. That 40 degree day in Melbourne the other week? Barely noticed it. Place doesn’t even have air conditioning. The insulation alone is just so effective.
2013 has been another year of media delights. In addition to 20 throw-away episodes of my “need an excuse to upload something” vlog series “Life of DMG” (as seen above), I also made a few videos with TV’s Shane Crawford for his website. I was basically Richter to his O’Brien. Shaffer to his Letterman. And to a lesser extent, robot skeleton to his Ferguson. Though I can’t seem to find those videos online any more, you can see part of one in my most recent showreel, where I took one for the team:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F8Y9CBJ_BZs
31 Questions – The TV game show all the kids are listening about – returned for its second season. We shot 9 episodes, 7 of which were broadcast-able. They aired on community TV stations in Melbourne, Sydney, Brisbane, Perth and New Zealand. And will soon air in Adelaide after they finish repeating the first season.
Season 2 was a step up in many respects. Better graphics, better editing, a flashier scoreboard, more defined characters and some minor touches here and there. Although it wasn’t quite the step up in lighting and audio that we had hoped.
There are always challenges and setbacks when you’re making a television show. We had to make do with reduced studio time, simultaneously throughout the production my parents back in Adelaide were splitting up after 29 years of marriage, and worst of all I had a really bad haircut 2 weeks before we started taping.
But we had some good crowds towards the end and the laughs were there. And what our crew managed to do with those limited resources was quite impressive. Not bad for $4,000?
This is my favourite episode. It was the Season 2 premier, but it was actually the last episode we shot:
And in case you missed the memos, 31 Questions is indeed coming back for a third season. We raised $3,262 with our recent crowdfunding campaign and we’re back in the fabulous RMIT University televisual studio from late February.
This will be the big one. So stay posted if you want to come join the studio audience or BE ON THE SHOW.
Back in Adelaide, after talking about it for years, my folks have finally sold the family home at Seacliff. I remember the day we moved in: 17 March 1992, just before my 5th birthday.
It’s a great house. The big walls all around the outside got me quite used to privacy. Everywhere else I’ve lived has seemed quite exposed by comparison. And aside from 9 months in 2000, when the second storey appeared, I lived there 18 years until I left for Melbourne in 2010.
It was still nice to return to my home town and stay in my old bedroom. But I don’t have that any more. And the SA jaunts haven’t quite been the same. This year in particular, going back to visit Adelaide has felt less and less like visiting home and more like seeing a jigsaw puzzle with pieces gradually being removed and replaced.
Don’t get me wrong, I love Adelaide and there’s some exciting things going on at the moment. I’ve had many a conversation about local infrastructure projects with anyone who will listen. But it’s not where I want to be right now.
Ahh I’ll miss that house… But it will live on in so many video projects, like this one:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4oQakmn_cAw
That reminds me, we really should get around to editing those 3 other Too Easy episodes…
So that’s about it for 2013. Well I did some other things. I went to Sydney for a bit. Bought a bookcase. Hosted a documentary series about webseries. Had a really nice sandwich, etc.
But my big news for the new year is I’ll be a writer on the third season of “Shaun Micallef’s Mad As Hell” starting February 2014! Coincidentally, my first day writing is on the 13th, which is the four year anniversary of my move to Melbourne.
How about that?
Best move ever.
Hope you’ve had a good year yourself and things are looking even better for 2014. I’ll see you on the other side.
You can buy me a coffee.
Kind regards,
David M. Green
No, I’m serious. Small cappuccino with one, please.
