David M. Green: Purveyor of fine humour

Tag: Alex Williamson

  • 2013 A.D(MG)

    It’s the end of another year this year. And what an end of a year it’s been. Also, the rest of the year was eventful.

    I started 2013 with no regular work and by March I’d run out of money. Well, I say “run out of money”, but I mean it in the first world sense. I got down to my last $9 in the bank, but I still had a car and other things of tangible value, etc. But it was still pretty stressful.

    At one point, I applied for a job as a school crossing guard with the Boroondara Council. It was basically this scene from the 1985 motion picture “Lost in America” starring Albert Brooks:

    I wasn’t successful.

    But I did do this for $150:

    Salvation came with the AFL Season and my return to Crocmedia to panel their fabulous “AFL Live” football commentary to 100 radio stations around Australia. Best radio job I’ve had.

    [Sports writing mode begins]

    The most memorable moment was the Adelaide v. North Melbourne game, Round 9 at Etihad Stadium. The Kangaroos had lead for the entire game, only to have the Crows kick 5 unanswered goals in the final quarter, culminating in an Adelaide goal with only 15 seconds left to give my home town a miracle 1-point victory. It was a fairy tale ending. I’ve never heard Rex Hunt call anything as intense as that.

    You can listen to the highlights package I edited during the game here.

    I don’t leap out of that panel operator’s chair onto my feet very often, but that was one of those moments.

    [Sports writing mode ends]

    After the AFL season finished, I started some weekend panelling at 1116SEN, using the ole MTR studios in Richmond. So finally, that move from Coburg to Hawthorn to be closer to work (2 days before MTR shut down) has actually paid off. Only took 18 months.

    And actually, since I moved in July from the eastern side of Hawthorn to the western side, a stone’s throw from Richmond, I’m close enough to WALK to work in about 15 minutes. The route takes me down Bendigo Street past the old GTV Channel 9 studios, now luxury apartments. To use my favourite cliched broadcasting expression, it’s “absolutely sensational”.

    Please enjoy this guided tour of my new place:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8T2pT_bdvAU

    It’s much better than the last apartment. Cheaper. More space. Laundry taps and an exhaust fan in the bathroom (as mentioned). And the insulation is excellent. That 40 degree day in Melbourne the other week? Barely noticed it. Place doesn’t even have air conditioning. The insulation alone is just so effective.

    2013 has been another year of media delights. In addition to 20 throw-away episodes of my “need an excuse to upload something” vlog series “Life of DMG” (as seen above), I also made a few videos with TV’s Shane Crawford for his website. I was basically Richter to his O’Brien. Shaffer to his Letterman. And to a lesser extent, robot skeleton to his Ferguson. Though I can’t seem to find those videos online any more, you can see part of one in my most recent showreel, where I took one for the team:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F8Y9CBJ_BZs

    31 Questions – The TV game show all the kids are listening about – returned for its second season. We shot 9 episodes, 7 of which were broadcast-able. They aired on community TV stations in Melbourne, Sydney, Brisbane, Perth and New Zealand. And will soon air in Adelaide after they finish repeating the first season.

    Season 2 was a step up in many respects. Better graphics, better editing, a flashier scoreboard, more defined characters and some minor touches here and there. Although it wasn’t quite the step up in lighting and audio that we had hoped.

    There are always challenges and setbacks when you’re making a television show. We had to make do with reduced studio time, simultaneously throughout the production my parents back in Adelaide were splitting up after 29 years of marriage, and worst of all I had a really bad haircut 2 weeks before we started taping.

    But we had some good crowds towards the end and the laughs were there. And what our crew managed to do with those limited resources was quite impressive. Not bad for $4,000?

    This is my favourite episode. It was the Season 2 premier, but it was actually the last episode we shot:

    And in case you missed the memos, 31 Questions is indeed coming back for a third season. We raised $3,262 with our recent crowdfunding campaign and we’re back in the fabulous RMIT University televisual studio from late February.

    This will be the big one. So stay posted if you want to come join the studio audience or BE ON THE SHOW.

    Back in Adelaide, after talking about it for years, my folks have finally sold the family home at Seacliff. I remember the day we moved in: 17 March 1992, just before my 5th birthday.

    It’s a great house. The big walls all around the outside got me quite used to privacy. Everywhere else I’ve lived has seemed quite exposed by comparison. And aside from 9 months in 2000, when the second storey appeared, I lived there 18 years until I left for Melbourne in 2010.

    It was still nice to return to my home town and stay in my old bedroom. But I don’t have that any more. And the SA jaunts haven’t quite been the same. This year in particular, going back to visit Adelaide has felt less and less like visiting home and more like seeing a jigsaw puzzle with pieces gradually being removed and replaced.

    Don’t get me wrong, I love Adelaide and there’s some exciting things going on at the moment. I’ve had many a conversation about local infrastructure projects with anyone who will listen. But it’s not where I want to be right now.

    Ahh I’ll miss that house… But it will live on in so many video projects, like this one:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4oQakmn_cAw

    That reminds me, we really should get around to editing those 3 other Too Easy episodes…

    So that’s about it for 2013. Well I did some other things. I went to Sydney for a bit. Bought a bookcase. Hosted a documentary series about webseries. Had a really nice sandwich, etc.

    But my big news for the new year is I’ll be a writer on the third season of “Shaun Micallef’s Mad As Hell” starting February 2014! Coincidentally, my first day writing is on the 13th, which is the four year anniversary of my move to Melbourne.

    How about that?

    Best move ever.

    Hope you’ve had a good year yourself and things are looking even better for 2014. I’ll see you on the other side.

    You can buy me a coffee.

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    No, I’m serious. Small cappuccino with one, please.

  • 31 Questions Season 2 Ep 4: Best Show Yet

    For the first time since Season 2 began, I finally felt like we really nailed an episode.

    On Monday April 8, we were back in the studio to tape Episode 4. It was one of those magical nights where everything just came together. Great crowd. Scripted gags landed. Spontaneous laughs. Insightful contestants. We ran to schedule. And most importantly of all, we got it all on tape!

    Special guest Alex Williamson also popped in to record a cameo, providing a considerable amount of censoring work for the editor. Amazing how time flies. Back in 2008, Alex was a guest on my show “Pow-Wow” on Radio Adelaide. 5 years and 800km later, he’s a guest on my TV show. I still have trouble believing all this is actually happening.

    Shooting during the Melbourne International Comedy Festival is tough. There’s strong competition for audiences. It’s rough out there, I tell ya!

    I think people just get desensitised to the constant Facebook and Twitter updates from comedians saying: “Come to my show! Come to my show!” Not to mention those invasive ads. Whoops. I just mentioned them.

    The 31 Questions experience is completely free – as are most TV studio audience experiences. We’re competing against comedy festival shows that charge $20-30 a ticket. It’s true that having a price of admission adds a sense of legitimacy to a show, and maybe the very fact we don’t charge is actually discouraging show-goers. But ultimately, we’re making a community TV show. We’d never charge people to see 31 Questions. I just want as many people as possible to see it, whether that be in studio or on TV or YouTube and damn the fact that as I’m writing this, I have $38.41 in the bank.

    Personally, I love free things. In fact, I try to avoid paying for things. At all costs.

    Doesn’t always work out, financially speaking.

    Once again, hats, jackets and pants off to our great crew.

    They just get better and better every week.

    It was such a great feeling walking out of that studio at the end of the night knowing the show is finally where I want it to be. When it’s good, it’s so, so good.

    Best feeling in the world.

    The next opportunity for you to be a part of it is this Monday 22 April for the taping of EPISODE SIX.

    8.30PM
    Studio A, Level 2, Building 12
    RMIT University
    on Melbourne’s fabulous Swanston Street
    (near the corner of Franklin Street).

    Join the event on Facebook.

    And a big thanks to the king of Australian TV audience warm up Michael Pope for sharing the event on Facebook. If you’ve ever had the pleasure of being warmed up by him, as I was when I saw “Mad As Hell” the other week, you’ll know he’s one of the best in the business.

    I must let you know though he won’t be at our taping. But it looks like we’ll be continuing our recent trend of special guest appearances with another popular character…

    I’ll see you on Monday. And until then (or until I get the photos from Ep 5 and blog about that), here’s some recently uploaded outtake footage from last year.

    Enjoy.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xnQt03x2E7U

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    Leave you legless. That really is a horrible joke when you think about it.

  • Adelaide in colour

    I’ve just returned from a 2 week chillaxment in Adelaide. Always a pleasure to visit my home town. Great to see the family and old friends, and boy, there’s nothing like that first glass of Adelaide water.

    The last 2 weeks in Adelaide were probably the best weather I’ve ever experienced. Bright blue skies and sunshine every single day. There’s a certain brightness and freshness that you don’t often get in Melbourne. No offense.

    I was back for Christmas. And the winner of “best present ever” goes to my thoughtful sister Hannah, who actually read the article I wrote on gifts for mX the other week. She got me this:

    Instead of something useless that’s just going to take up the limited space I have in my room in Melbourne, she made a donation to charity, which provided a piglet to a poor family in Laos. This is fantastic.

    This is what Christmas should be about. Giving things to people who really need it. I can’t remember the last time I reacted to a Christmas present with a genuine smile. Best present ever.

    Was also good to catch up with my brother Luke C. Green. He, along with my other sister Alice, have a rare degenerative condition called “hereditary spastic paraplegia”. But Luke’s making the most of it. His reduced mobility gives him an excuse to do what he really loves: play computer games.

    The whole thing is very hard on my parents. I really don’t know how they do it.

    And I was very, very happy to see Katie, the family Cardigan Corgi. She’s had some problems with her hips the last couple of years. Since I moved it’s apparently become worse. She doesn’t tend to move around the house much any more. But when I arrived she ran out to greet me. A rare honour these days, so I’m told.

    Caught up too with the talented Li’l Lisa Pellegrino. We go way back to those unsupervised days at Radio Adelaide 101.5FM circa 2007. In 2009 she moved to Darwin to do breakfast on Mix 104.9FM. She recently made the move to 105.7 ABC Darwin. Plus she also helped get me a job at the Palace Nova Cinema in Adelaide, so I still feel I owe her. She’s definitely one to watch.

    I notice the Adelaide Advertiser hasn’t changed. Just as appalling as ever. And they’re persisting with the same poorly designed reader poll graph, which I have previously mocked on this website:

    2 responses? Honestly, why don’t they just make it up? And the arrow points towards NO! This is the worst kind of ergonomics. When will they learn? The city really needs a second daily local newspaper.

    I spent a lot of time listening to my vast collection of 80s new wave records, which I dearly miss. Resolution for this year is to get them all over to Melbourne so I can enjoy them all the time. I may have made that resolution last year…

    In the space of 2 weeks, I managed to listen to all of these:

    How many albums can you name on my vinyl floor?

    Hilariously, when I put this photo on Facebook, the facial recognition system picked up Peter Gabriel (line 9, position 1), Phil Collins from The Face Album (line 4, position 2) and that guy from Wang Chung (line 7, position 2).

    And probably most excitingly, I caught up with Radio’s Alex Williamson, Nick Godfrey and Tim Wray to shoot some more of our somewhat popular Internet sitcom Too Easy.

    Expect 4 new episodes coming to your computer screens and mobile devices later this month! And we reckon these are the funniest ones so far…

    Here are some behind the scenes snaps to wet your appetite…

    Get ready for the return of Ricky T! Played by the talented Jack Ellis, who’s just been accepted into NIDA in Sydney!

    Some great memories there. Can’t wait to share them with you when Alex cuts the episodes together.

    I always enjoy being back in Adelaide. However, having said that… I think I would be a little depressed if I were to move back there permanently. For now, I’ve got to be in Melbourne to keep on with the career.

    Alex said it best I think. Adelaide’s comfortable. But sometimes, you’ve got to get out of your comfort zone.

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    Stay classy, Adelaide.

  • Norman Vine on Barry Radio’s “Bad Blokes”

    Ohohohohohoooooooo YEEEESSSSSS!

    Norman Vine is BACK!

    Tune into Bad Blokes on Barry Radio with my good friends Jack Ellis, Luke “Plugga” Harding and Alex Williamson.

    If you’re in Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Adelaide or Perth, you can tune in on your digital radio, or else listen online at the following times (Australian Eastern Daylight Time, GMT +11):

    Monday – 8AM
    Wednesday – 4PM
    Thursday – 10PM
    Friday – 11AM
    Saturday – 8AM/4PM/10PM
    Sunday – 4AM/11AM/5PM

    I think the guys really mesh well with each other on the air. It’s mostly just laid back chat, but quite dense with gags. They also do the odd sketch here and there.

    And of course, a new segment called “The Finer Things” with my alter-ego, eccentric billionaire and notorious ladies man, Norman Vine, which explores life’s finer things and adds a touch of class to the digital radio spectrum. This week we talk about yachting and dressing gowns. That’s right.

    A big thanks to the good blokes from Bad Blokes for having me on their show. It’s an absolute pleasure and hopefully they’ll have me on a few more times before they get sick of me!

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    I’ll get back to you, Barry.

  • December in Adelaide Part 2 (Too Easy)

    I’ve just returned to Melbourne once again from a week in sunny Adelaide. And after a mandatory Christmas lunch, it was on with filming more of everyone’s favourite buddy-Australian Internet sitcom (by default), Too Easy!

    We’re calling it “Season 2” as, due to unforeseen circumstances, we had to change the location of Adrian and Toby’s house. We figured this was a logical time for a change of season.

    Filming began at 10am on December 26 at the actual home of Tim Wray in the southern Adelaide suburb of Lower Mitcham.

    We wrote into the story line that their old house burnt down, which would explain why they are not only in a different house, but why their new house contains entirely different possessions. Pretty clever, huh? That’s what we in this business call “writing your way out”.

    The first episode of this next lot of Too Easy is entitled “More Cleaner”, and guest stars Radio & Television’s Sam Mac as the “Foreign Cleaner”.

    Sam had previously collaborated with myself and Alex Williamson a year ago, almost to the day, when we filmed the once off Musical Chairs Sketch.

    Once again, Sam was a pleasure to work with and we all had a blast acting out these scenes and ad-libbing some spontaneous hilariousness. Special thanks to him for spending 2 hours of his Boxing Day away from his family and actual friends to reinforce racial stereotypes on our show.

    Special thanks also to Tim Wray for letting us use his house. Tim reprises his role of Malcolm Powder, the landlord’s son, a role to which he’s certainly bringing a unique personal influence…

    And in place of financial reimbursement, please except my sincere apologies for taking unfair advantage of your generous offer of free Dr Pepper.

    As a gag, when Tim was out of the house (saving lives as a nurse), we drank a whole six pack of his Dr Pepper (which isn’t widely available in Australia), then carefully inserted the empty cans back into the plastic rings and put them back in the fridge!

    Sunday was actually quite a long day. I’ve just seen the rough cut of “More Cleaner” and at seven and a half minutes, it’s our longest episode to date. However, it is VERY funny. Great performances all around. And great camera work by Nicholas Godfrey.

    The only downside was smelling like spoilt milk for most of the day after a stunt in the name of comedy…

    The next two days were slightly more leisurely days of filming. We filmed episodes #10 and #11, “Phone Sex” and “Swapsies” (respectfully).

    We were a bit short handed with Nick departing for Melbourne himself, so Adam Navarro stepped up to the plate, by which I mean the camera, and Gerard Kotlowy came along for the ride.

    And holding that camera is no easy exercise. I filmed the odd scene here and there and my arm was shaking after just a few minutes! To quote my own advice from earlier this year: respect the camera guys!

    Joining us on camera for these episodes was Maddie Otto and Adelaide Comedy’s James McCann. Both very talented and again, pleasures to work with.

    I was personally thrilled to be wearing Toby’s “coffee date” costume, which can clearly be seen in the below photographs, or “stillies” as we’ve been calling them. I felt like dancing David Byrne-style to “Once in a Lifetime”…

    These episodes coming soon to YouTube… And I can’t wait!

    If you haven’t already, subscribe to the Too Easy YouTube Account.

    Too Easy is unique in the sense that to my knowledge, no one else in Australia is really making a sitcom webseries. There are a few dramas here and there, and plenty of stuff on community television, but nothing like Too Easy as far as I can see. Feel free to prove me wrong…

    And now to resume my search for a job.

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    Bow ties get the chicks, you know.