David M. Green: Purveyor of fine humour

Tag: funny

  • 31 Questions Ep #10: Beautiful People’s Edition!

    MMMMMmmmmYYYYYEEEEESSSSS!

    It’s the 10th episode of 31 Questions for your YouTube viewing pleasure. This one features a cameo appearance from host of Deal or No Deal Australia, TV’s Andrew O’Keefe.

    And thanks to the marvelous editing of Anthony McCormack, you’ll hardly even notice the terrible audio issues we had while shooting that sketch, and which we didn’t notice until we got to the editing room.

    Let this be a free lesson for the aspiring television-maker: It’s not enough to just monitor the audio levels on the camera’s little viewing screen. You have to actually be listening with HEADPHONES. Otherwise you won’t pick up weird clicky noises caused be faulty XLR cables and be forced to dub scenes with audio from different takes.

    But hey, that’s the fun of TV…

    Thanks again to AO’K for being such a good sport and allowing us to blow him up for the entertainment of others.

    We’ve had quite a bit of feedback from viewers recently, which is FANTASTIC!

    Here’s a fine post about us from Bother’s Bar on the other side of the planet, where he describes me as “Tim Vine-esque”. I’ll certainly take that!

    Fun fact: During my 2010 interview with Tim Vine, we jointly came up with the “Typo Magazine’s Man of the Ear” gag, which I later used in Ep #6 of 31 Questions.

    That’s one of my favourite lines. I originally came up with “Typo Magazine’s Man of the Beer”. But Tim Vine suggested “Ear”. A superior punchline. Or punch “word”, really. In my opinion, it should be a contender for “World’s most perfect joke”. Just six words long, but it’s all it needs to be.

    Of course regardless of its comic perfection, when I delivered that line in Ep #6 the joke bombed.

    Makes ME laugh…

    We also had a YouTube comment on Ep #10 from a guy called “jedimerchants”. It’s quite bizarre. This video response pretty much sums it up:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kkEDlQNoiaY

    Thank you once again beautiful contestants!

    Ep #11 arrives on your television screen (assuming you live in Melbourne or Geelong AND don’t live in an apartment building that automatically blocks out Channel 31… found that one out the hard way last weekend…) tomorrow (Saturday) evening 10PM on Digital 44.

    See you then (from the TV).

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    I’m not crazy.

  • The Thrifty Browser

    Ahoy! I haven’t written a poem in about 10 years, but I was recently inspired by certain real life events to pen this one. Did somebody say, “Oh that DMG, he just hit the Australian media industry zeitgeist right in the sweet spot?”

    No?

    Well, here it is anyway…

    “The Thrifty Browser”
    By David M. Green

    I click on links in interestin’ tweets
    from The Australian & Herald Sun.
    But the journey ends when I reach the paywall.
    Money exchanged equals none.

    The Internet should be free for all.
    Online ads are bad enough.
    When I’m bombarded with pesky pop-ups,
    I vow never to buy any of that stuff.

    Have you heard the new single from blah blah blah?
    I don’t care if pop music stays alive.
    There’s songs from the ‘80s I haven’t discovered yet.
    The last CD I bought was in 2005.

    And why wait a week between episodes
    When you can just download them all in one go?
    I’m more familiar with the New York guide now.
    Just get it from HBO.

    There’s no gift you can buy me
    That I can’t just get for free.
    Although it can get a little tedious
    Browsing torrents, isoHunt and GumTree.

    I like the idea of escaping the PR
    That drives the media these days.
    The web is my sanctuary, my fortress of solitude,
    Filled with excessive cat video replays.

    Working in media would be my dream come true.
    Legitimate careers are uninspiring.
    But it’s pretty difficult to get a job at the moment.
    How come nobody’s hiring?

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    Enough said.

  • 31 Questions Ep #09: Toilet flushes galore!

    MMMmmmmyyyeeeeeessss!

    This week it’s Fran vs. Rob on everyone’s favourite no-budget TV game show… 31 QUESTIONS!

    The gag round for episode #9 continues the tradition of Australian TV stealing ideas from David Letterman with a brand new segment called “Will it flush?” where contestants predict which households items will indeed be flushed down the toilet or remain floating in the bowl for the next poor sap to deal with…

    Did someone say “good taste”?

    No?

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    This episode is dedicated to the brave men and women of the Australian Armed Forces.

  • 31 Questions Ep #08: Bald celebrities edition!

    MMMmmmmyyyeeeeeessss!

    It’s episode #8 of 31 Questions! Featuring the gag segment “Low Brow” – where contestants need to identify celebrities from photos of said celebrities with their hair and eyebrows removed.

    You all like celebrities, right?

    Contestants Emily and Nick used to be friends, but they haven’t thought of each other lately at all as they go head to head to see who has the superior command of general knowledge and pop culture.

    How many questions can YOU answer?

    …I’m asking you a question!

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    Anyone actually go chrome for Chromosome Day?

  • 31 Questions Ep #06

    31 Questions episode #6 has been put out to pasture on YouTube, where it shall remain until the end of time or until the YouTube supercomputer collapses in on itself under the pressure of excessive cat videos.

    In other news, we’ve now been approved by WestTV Perth, TVS Sydney, 31 Digital Brisbane AND 44 Adelaide to be re-broadcast on their local stations!

    So if YouTube’s not your thing and you live in one of those metropolitan areas, stay tuned for your chance to watch 31 Questions from the comfort of your armchair, just like us fancy folks in Melbourne & Geelong.

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    31 Questions: Proudly brought to you by NO SPONSOR.