Tag: Toyota

  • 2019 (The Year)

    It’s the end.

    Well, not really.

    But it is the end of the year. Also the decade. The decade that gave us both vaping and vaporwave.

    February 13 actually marks 10 years since I moved to Melbourne, so that’s probably the more significant milestone for me rather than the technical end of the 2010s. And if my 22-year-old self saw where I am now, I think he’d be thrilled.

    But as for 2019, I did a few things of note…

    I got married! Annika too. 29 March 2019 at Glasshaus Inside in Cremorne, just off Swan Street, Richmond. It’s a plant nursery by day so the greenery provided a lovely setting that seems to be in vogue at the moment with the recent surge in the popularity of house plants. Take my wife.

    My beautiful wife of course deserves all the thanks for the many months of planning. And also for saying yes.

    It was a great night and in particular it was really special to look out at the crowd and see my brother Luke, who flew over from Adelaide with Mum and two carers. Thank you again to the good people at Qantas and Jetstar (and Mum) who got him here, to my best man Tim, and all our friends who came to celebrate with us.

    Beautiful photos by Jessica Grilli.

    For our honeymoon, we spent a month in September/October traveling up the west coast of the USA and Canada.

    To give you the executive summary: we started in LA, rented a car (first time driving a left-hand drive car!) and drove to Desert Hot Springs, Palm Springs, then up the Pacific Coast Highway to San Luis Obispo where we stayed at the fabulous Madonna Inn (highlight of the trip). Then to San Simeon, checked out Hearst Castle, to Carmel-By-The-Sea through San Jose to San Francisco. Out to Yosemite National Park and back. Then flew to Portland, Oregon. Never been there before and really liked it. Lots of cool vintage stores and cafés (felt a bit like Adelaide or Melbourne). Then drove to Seattle via Mount Saint Helens (absolutely spectacular) and across the boarder to Vancouver.

    We took more photos obviously, but I can’t be bothered re-sizing them for the website so just go to my Instagram.

    It was my third time visiting the USA. I went in 1998 and 2005 with my folks and both times I came back home a bit disappointed about what I was missing out on, not living there. This time was different and I was glad to be home. I guess that says something about how much I’m enjoying my life and career at the moment.

    But also, maybe my eyes were more open. So much waste. So many ridiculously big SUVs only carrying one person. So much plastic packaging. So many homeless people, with tents on the side of the freeway and under bridges.

    America is only a great country if you’re rich. As Paul Keating said, “Australia is a fundamentally better society.” He’s right. I guess as you get older, things like universal health care and not being shot become more important to you.

    And really, there’s nothing there now that you can’t get here, thanks to the Internet and globalisation. I remember in 2005 I was blown away by all the different coloured jackets you could buy at Macy’s. In Adelaide at the time, your options were basically black, brown or navy blue. Now you can get anything you want.

    It was a different experience beverage-wise too. Last time I went to town on Dr Pepper at every opportunity. This time I only managed one and I felt pretty sick afterwards. It’s the sugar. I just can’t drink the non-diet/max stuff anymore.

    Also, I wasn’t a coffee drinker last time I went. My God. They just don’t get it. It’s expensive and it’s awful. And more generally, with taxes that aren’t included in the price, plus having to tip all the time, after a while it’s just really fucking annoying.

    But despite all of that, America still does have that special glow to it. Aside from the incredible scenery, the feeling that this is where the big things happen. Definitely on show while walking around Paramount Studios. I certainly wouldn’t turn down the opportunity to make a movie or work on a TV show there. What am I, nuts?!?

    Speaking of TV shows…

    In June, the TV special “Good Afternoon Adelaide: Live at the Birkenhead Bridge” aired on the usual community channels. It’s possibly the best thing I’ve ever done.

    Reflecting that, we received five nominations at the 2019 Antenna Awards, winning one for “Outstanding Sound in a Program”, which also seemed a fitting way to make up for Channel 44 Adelaide airing the special with no audio in the second act… true story!

    Voice-Over’s Tim Wray made the trip to Melbourne for the ceremony:

    We applied for a grant from the Community Broadcasting Foundation to make a second season and they came back to us with an offer of absolutely nothing, which is unfortunate. However… we’re making season 2 anyway. We had two big weekend shoots just before Christmas and hopefully we’ll have 6 new episodes by the middle of the year.

    (BTW if you like the show and want to help us out, there’s a donate button in the top right corner of this page.)

    Oh also, back in January the first season of GAA was voted the 3rd Best New Comedy of 2018 (behind the esteemed company of Nanette and Sizzletown) at the annual Australian Tumbleweed Awards. Great blog about Aussie TV comedy that, along with my bank account and the website with Commander Keen mods, is permanently open in Safari on my phone. Here’s what they said about us:

    “It’s a marker of how little new comedy of quality was premiered in 2018 that a show which aired on community television and was released online has garnered as many votes as it has in this category. Good Afternoon Adelaide, a parody of local TV made in Adelaide in the 80’s and 90’s by Mad As Hell writer David Allen Green, has some good ideas in it, but it’s pretty obscure. Its YouTube channel has 64 subscribers and its most-watched video has had 395 views. Presumably all 395 of those viewers voted for it here. Thanks for stopping by.”

    There’s only 7 people involved with the show and I think only 3 of us voted… so thanks everyone!

    As for the kind of work where they pay you actual money…

    2019 continued in much the same way as the last few years. Did the audio at the tennis again. Got the day shift this year, so no late nights. Did have a couple of 6AM starts though, but mostly 9-5. Like a real job or something.

    Still panelling radio for Crocmedia/SEN. The photos above are from when I brought my 35mm camera to work to use up the end of a roll of film. Panelled the usual things, mostly AFL but also some soccer, basketball, cricket, tennis, horse racing and general sport talk back.

    SEN completed its transition from Swan Street, Richmond to the Crocmedia building in Southbank. After sharing studios with Croc on the top floor for a few months, in June the new dedicated SEN studios opened on the ground floor in what turned out to be perfect timing because there was a fire in the building. No one was hurt but there was a horrible burning plastic smell and a loss of power that left the upper floors uninhabitable for a few weeks. The tech guys did an amazing job of getting the stations back up and running with minimal impact to broadcasts.

    Had another wonderful 3 months writing on series 10 of Mad as Hell. Here’s something I wrote that’s easily linkable on YouTube, performed by the brilliant Stephen Hall and Shaun Micallef:

    It really is the best God damn job in the world.

    I was also Andy Lee’s stand-in during rehearsals on Talkin’ ‘Bout Your Generation in February/March (I did that for the previous season in late 2017 as well – don’t think I mentioned it before). Basically, when they rehearse and run through all the segments, they don’t want the real contestants there as they’ll be exposed to the questions and gags, so they have six stand-ins.

    One brand new addition to the resume this year was writing questions for Mastermind Australia on SBS. Now I just need to get something I’ve written on Channel Ten and I will have completed the Australian network TV Yahtzee (Seven = The Chase. Nine = the “UN’s bring your daughter to work day” gag in the Mad as Hell clip they played at the Logies this year – it’s a bit of a stretch, I know, but still).

    Of course, if you saw me in anything this year, it was probably this Toyota ad:

    My first proper job as an actor. Absolutely loved it. Definitely looking forward to doing more stuff on camera.

    What else? There have been a couple of other writing projects. I was offered the chance to write a TV sitcom pilot by a long time Twitter friend and did a couple of drafts. Would love to see that one get made. Was also asked to help with a web sitcom, which I also did. Waiting to see what happens with that. You know, the usual.

    As for 2020, I’m back on series 11 of Mad as Hell early in the year and there’ll be more Good Afternoon Adelaide at some point and in some quantity. Also getting the urge to make some more VHS Revue. Watch this space.

    As it is coming up on a decade in Melbourne, I’ve been reading some of my old blog entries from those first few weeks and I had forgotten just how hard a time I was having.

    I used to write a lot more… well… ‘openly’ about what I was experiencing (there’s really nothing holding you back when you don’t have an employer or a relationship or the benefit of experience and better judgement). Particularly, I went into quite a bit of detail about that first (horrible) sharehouse in Altona. Reading it back now, it’s quite passive aggressive. That’s partly because those two housemates asked me to remove their names after I had already written a few posts, so I had to go back and replace their names with vague, non-identifiable descriptors like “Miss Altona” and “Mr X” etc. But also, clearly I was not having a good time. Next time I’m a guest on one of those podcasts where they exchange tedious stories, I’ll make sure to elaborate on their lack of a bath-mat system.

    One passage I came across from 9 March 2010 still resonates:

    “…it was a somewhat rambling week. Had some bad days, then a good one, then some bad ones, then a good one again. I’ve often found myself recently thinking and remembering about “the good old days” back in Adelaide, seeing my close friends regularly, working every now and then at the Palace Nova … it was all so care-free… And let me tell you, you never appreciate the beauty of nature and the outdoors so much as when you’re stuck at a desk reading a text book. But then, even though those days were great and I knew exactly what I was doing, I wasn’t going anywhere. At least here in Melbourne I feel like I’m achieving something.”

    Yep. It took a while, but things worked out pretty well. And quite ironic that I had to move to Melbourne to make a TV show called “Good Afternoon Adelaide”.

    But, I would do it all again.

    Here’s to the 2020s. Humanity’s last chance.

    – DMG

  • Oh, what a feeling

    Hey, I’m in a Toyota ad.

    Also, you should buy a Toyota.

    – DMG

  • 10 years of Corollas

    When I was in Adelaide over the Christmas and New Year period I had the unique opportunity to get a photo, standing next to my car outside my parent’s soon-to-be-sold house in Seacliff.

    What’s the significance of this photo? It happened to be 10 years to the day since I took a similar photo in the exact same position on the Earth’s surface!

    Just a few things had changed in that decade…

    Check it out:

    I didn’t look at the first photo before I took the second one, so I was going by memory. That’s why the angle is slightly different, and why my Mum’s Honda is in shot.

    Obviously that house in the background was recently knocked down. The concrete running down the centre of the Stobey Pole is a lighter colour in the recent photo because the pole was replaced in 2011 or 12.

    Note the trees, brick house and grey fence on the far left of the photo are still there.

    Had I not split my pants the night before during some mostly sensible new year’s eve celebrations, I would have been wearing the same style of pants again in the second photo. Alas. But I haven’t broken the habit of crossing my legs and shoving my hands in my pockets in the last 10 years.

    As for the car, on New Year’s Day 2004 I’d had my P-Plates for less than a month and was just beginning to enjoy driving my 1986 Toyota Corolla Seca around the neighbourhood all by myself. In 2006, I traded up to a white 2001 Toyota Corolla Seca, which I then sold in 2010 when I moved to Melbourne. I only lasted one year without a car before I bought my current maroon 2000 Toyota Corolla Ascent. They’re wonderful cars.

    It’s been a pretty fantastic decade too.

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    Time flies.

  • No car winter

    Yes, not quite as bad as “nuclear winter” but “no car winter”, or indeed, a no car year-long lifestyle is something that takes a little adjusting to. Hello, I’m David M. Green.

    This month marked the end of another motoring era, for me anyway. I’ve been without access to my 2001 Toyota Corolla Seca since I moved to Melbourne in February. However, just recently my Mum sold it for me. So even if I were to return to Adelaide, it would be unlikely that I’d be able to drive it, obviously because it now belongs to someone else.

    Had a lot of good times in/with that car…

    I originally got it because my 1986 Toyota Corolla Seca was beginning to consume about the same amount of oil as petrol, and there was a chance that I’d have to commute regularly to Murray Bridge, when I applied for a radio job there. So Mum wanted me to have a safer car. She helped me with the finances too, as this was during an extended period of unemployment (after GameTraders but before SAFM).

    I recall I hated it at first. There wasn’t enough room around the pedals, everything was too sensitive and at just the wrong angle compared to my previous car, so I had to develop different muscles in my legs. It took some getting used to. The other big drawback was its lack of a clock. Can you believe that? A car made in 2001 didn’t have a clock in it! Ridiculous.

    I had my first kiss in that car, amongst other things I won’t get into right now. Good times… Ohohoho… VERY good times…

    I also delivered many a pizza. Fun times.

    Had some not so good times too. Like the time I spun out on my way to a radio job interview in Berri. I was extremely lucky not to total the car, or myself, or anyone else. Amazingly there was no damage. I just got out, had a drink of water, reassessed my life, and continued driving for another 2 hours to the job interview. Driving is dangerous. I never told my parents about that. I didn’t want them to be worried if I actually got the job and had to commute regularly back to Adelaide on weekends. It doesn’t matter if they find out now. They don’t read my blog anyway!

    With my previous car, the ’86 version, I had a quirk of keeping track of the wildlife I’d destroyed with the car, and so on the side window I kept miniatures, just like an aircraft after a successful bombing raid. By the end I had 5 little bird stickers. And before you start writing angry letters to the RSPCA, may I point out I’m not a monster. It was more a form of remembrance. I certainly wasn’t TRYING to run over those birds. Well, definitely not the first few anyway.

    But not being one to heavily repeat material, I didn’t bother doing that for the ’01 model. I did do something with stickers, although not as interesting. I placed radio station stickers on my rear bumper. However, to be awarded a coveted bumper space, I had to have operated the radio control panel at that station. Hence the two station stickers below:

    Although I also appeared on Fresh 92.7FM, 891 ABC Adelaide and the Triple M Network during the time I had that car, I didn’t actually operate the panel at any of those stations. Hmm… specific, aye? Aside from the sentimentality, the bumper stickers also really came in handy when identifying my highly popular mass-produced car in a crowded parking lot. So it was also practical.

    I also left all my Flinders University parking permit stickers on the front windscreen, even though the most recent one expired in February 2008. The 2005 one was never valid for that car. I peeled it off the ’86 model and stuck it on the ’01 model when I bough it! Just for decoration.

    But anyway, I live in Melbourne now and I’m without a car. In fact I’ve only driven a car once since February. I can’t say I miss the expense. However, I do miss driving. Driving’s fun! There have been a few times when I’ve found myself late at night waiting 15 minutes for a tram to take me home on a 45 minute tram-ride, and really wishing I had my car. Sometimes it’s just great to hit the open road on a long drive, ’80s New Wave music blasting out the windows; something I did regularly in Adelaide.

    But a car is an unnecessary luxury in Melbourne. You don’t really need one. It would be a lot harder to do without a car in Adelaide. I love the trams. Although a few more east-west lines in the northern suburbs would be nice. See! I knew this would happen! You’re bedazzled by the marvelous Melbourne metro transport network at first, but after you live here for a while you start to discover its limitations. Happens to the best of us.

    I think the biggest problem is that grocery shopping is limited to what I can carry. That’s a bummer.

    So in conclusion, I’m getting by without a car (and a job for that matter), although I do occasionally miss the benefits of time-saving as well as the sheer pleasuring of driving. But you know, good for the environment and all that crap. Al Gore, you’re okay.

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    Adelaide Driver

  • Where’s my 1986 Toyota Corolla Seca?

    No, no, it wasn’t stolen… although it was broken into a few times… I sold my 1986 Toyota Corolla Seca in late 2006. It popped back into my mind recently, however.

    The other day I was out and about on an errand and I saw an early ’90s gold Volvo station wagon parked on the side of the street. My Mum used to have one just like it. She got it in 1994 and had it until she got a Honda Odyssey in 1999. Just as I was driving past I glanced at the number plate and slammed on the brakes when I noticed it read “VGM861.” Good God! That’s ACTUALLY my Mum’s old car! I pulled over so I could get out and take a closer look. A little rusted and scratched here and there but essentially how it looked when I last saw it 10 years ago. I wonder how many owners it’s had since then? Had a lot of good times in that car, driving (or being driven, rather) to family Christmases and Easters and birthday parties. It was one of those Volvos with 7 seats. 5 regularly placed ones, as you’d expect, but then 2 in the boxy back part that folded up and actually faced backwards. I remember one time when I was about 7 my then friend Elliott Jenkins and myself were sitting in the back making rude hand gestures at the drivers of trailing cars. Most of them seemed amused. One humourless woman actually followed us home just so she could inform my Mum what we were doing… Jesus, can you believe that?

    So naturally I’ve been on the look out for MY old car. Every now and then I see one, but on closer inspection there have always been subtle differences that indicate it’s a fraud; a different front grill, automatic transmission, no dents where I remember them (no new owner would have bothered to FIX them, don’t be ridiculous). I had some good times in that car…

    I got it in 2003. I didn’t learn on it, because I found learning on a manual too much to begin with, but after I mastered the basics I took it on and drove solo as soon as I got my P-plates. There are two main things I recall about my first solo drive. 1. I turned on the radio and listened to “Bad” by Michael Jackson, and 2. I had an erection. Good times… I loved that car… purely as a friend, of course. I had a Grand Theft Auto Vice City sticker on the rear window that I swiped from GameTraders Micham when I was working there. I also had 5 or 6 little bird silhouettes stuck on a side window, as if my car was a Lancaster bomber, one bird for each bird I killed with the car. All accidentally of course. I’m not a monster. I still remember most of the things that were wrong with it, that you kind of just get used to. The windscreen wipers had a short circuit and would go bananas if you had them on the low setting, so it was either all the way or not at all. Plus the air conditioner switched was busted, so, although it worked, would only work on the number 2 fan setting, and with much jiggling, occasionally number 3.

    I even made a sketch about it, appropriately titled “The 1986 Toyota Corolla Seca.” Although I basically ripped off “Back to the Future” and “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.” It came 3rd place in the 2005 Marion Council’s “Square Eyes” Short Film Competition, earning me a $40 Bunnings gift voucher. As I had no need for any of their fine hardware products, I sold the vouchers to my Dad (for $35… cheap bastard… na, he’s okay). Check it out… the sketch, not the vouchers…

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tp68CEAWKss&feature=player_profilepage

    A little crappy by my current sketch-craft standards… but still entertaining, to me at least… Well Seca, you’re out there somewhere… assuming you haven’t been crushed into a cube and sold for scrap. Maybe one day I’ll see you again. It really was a great car. A pleasure to drive. I really noticed some things when I upgraded to my current 2001 Toyota Corolla Seca. The old one had a lot more foot room next to the clutch (which I badly miss) and the hollow steering wheel made the dashboard much more visible (granted my new car comes with an air-bag, so I guess that’s a fair trade off). And the accelerator was much less sensitive in the ’86 car. You could suddenly flatten it to the floor and everything was still smooth. Do that in the ’01 model and it’s like you’re riding a mechanical bull. It certainly sold me on manual transmission too. I wouldn’t drive anything else now. The added advantage of manual is you can push-start it if you have a flat battery. I had to do that once at Marion Shopping Centre when I accidentally left my lights on. That was a lot of fun! Good thing my good friend Ted was there to push. It was quite a sight; an Englishman pushing me around a crowded parking lot with me shouting “come on!” as the car struggled to turn over…

    The 1986 Toyota Corolla Seca. Sure, it had been broken into and egged on numerous occasions and I had to fill it up with almost as much oil as I did petrol by the end of my tenure with it… but what an automobile. I absolutely loved it.

    Kind regards,
    David M. Green
    Anybody seen it?