As media consumers, we hear about some of the big issues: asylum seekers, the economy, climate change. But for too long, the mainstream media have been shunning society’s real problems. Why is there no cranberry sauce at Australian Subway restaurants?

This year marks one decade since cranberry sauce was unceremoniously removed from the popular sandwich restaurant’s sauce menu. How this is not front page news escapes me.

But for ten years, Subway has continued to serve turkey. How have they been getting away with this? What good is turkey without cranberry? It’s like a ying without a yang. Or Lady GaGa in her birthday suit.

Since 2002, I have been making a point to ask my Subway sandwich artist for cranberry sauce. I figured if I kept asking for it, eventually they would put it back on the menu. Sadly, not the case.

I called head office. I asked them why they chose to remove such a fine sauce from their repertoire. Apparently the removal of cranberry was to ensure all Subway restaurants in Australia had the same menu.

So why not have cranberry sauce at all of them? Why instigate conformity by limiting choice?

Their recommended condiment for a six inch turkey sub is now “honey mustard”. Honestly, why don’t I just eat out of a toilet?

I’ve tried to find a diplomatic solution. I even asked my local Subway restaurant if I could buy a jar of cranberry sauce and keep it behind the counter so I can use it at my discretion whenever I dine in.

They told me they would only agree to it if they could let other people use MY cranberry sauce. Firstly, they can buy their own damn sauce! And secondly, well wouldn’t that therefore prove there’s a demand for it?

In an act of desperation, on a couple of occasions I have actually brought my own cranberry sauce into Subway, with which management didn’t seem to have a problem. They had more of a problem with the knife that I also brought in to spread it. Turns out the practice of bringing knives into service stations is generally frowned upon.

I used to love Subway. But this whole cranberry sauce ordeal has put a sour, sauce-less taste on the whole dining experience. It’s very disappointing. Might I even say un-Australian?

If you walk into any independent Australian eatery that has sandwich-making facilities, you’ll probably be greeted by a good old Aussie battler with a wife beater singlet and a twinkle in their eye.

Sure, he might not have all his teeth and you might have to turn a blind eye to a few hygiene issues, but you can be damn certain they’ll have the option of cranberry sauce! But not Subway.

Eat fresh?

I’m not so sure.

Kind regards,
David M. Green
Jellied or whole berries. I don’t mind.

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